Z

ztupidity

Member
May 9, 2019
22
Guys, let's share your stories.. Whose ctb that inspires you the most?

It would be better if the person is a world wide well known public figure. If it's not world wide, at least he/she is a known person locally. The person's ctb should has been covered by international or local media, so we can read his/her story behind the ctb.

Mine is Miss Tar* Cond*ll ( https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=tara+condell )
Her ctb note really inspires me. I'm sank into deep depression because of a certain situation right now. This one is so deep because the same situation have happened in the past for many times. I feel like the most idiot person in the world for making same mistakes that made my life difficult.

Miss Tar* said her life was going well. She said everything was fine, even though I don't believe what she wrote 100%. Seeing a person that has situation in her life is going well then ctb'ed, reminds me that I'm nothing so I should have nothing to lose to ctb because a person that has everything to live for just did it. Her sentence in her ctb note that inspires me the most is "I have accepted that hope is a delayed disappointment". Now I'm working hard for one last tiny hope to make my situation a little better. Her words just remind me to give up and not wasting time lol.

This is her ctb note: https://www.taracondell.com/
 
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Monster

Monster

Member
Apr 26, 2019
77
Um I think suicides "inspiring" people isn't the right reason for them to kill themselves. It's furthering the romaticizing of suicide that has happened over the years and contributing to many young people killing themselves for the wrong reasons (in my opinion).
 
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Dreamcolleger

Dreamcolleger

I surrender... I SURRENDER!
Apr 26, 2019
219
Um I think suicides "inspiring" people isn't the right reason for them to kill themselves. It's furthering the romaticizing of suicide that has happened over the years and contributing to many young people killing themselves for the wrong reasons (in my opinion).
They can help give you the courage to do it as well when you already have a good reason(s).
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I was going to say "my mother's" but then I read the rules. Oh well!
 
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X

Xload

New Member
May 17, 2019
2
Ive reads about two people who starved themselves to death. One of them has writen a diary while he was starving.
 
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Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
681
I understand you. I find comfort in some famous people suicide too. Especially if it's the people I can relate too on one level or another and just knowing that did that makes it feel more real for me like it's possible to achieve it for me too and like it's ok in some way it's ok. I like the story of Avicii, I absolutely love his music, and I could relate to him through it for a long time, knowing he killed him self makes me feel better about my decision and it makes me feel far less lonely. When someone like Acicii who I felt so close to did it, it tells me I'm not alone in this and there is someone who did it whom I like and can stand as person and want to be around. Unlike with other ppl that I just can't stand being around them. Knowing that someone who means so much to me and feels so close to me did it makes me feel far less lonely. And he did it in a very horrible and painful way from what I've read, I'm sorry if he suffered, he didn't deserve it. But even that inspires me, it inspires me to be stronger and braver, if he could stand such a horrible pain that I absolutely HAVE TO and can stand the pain too, especially since my choice might be less painful. I'm thinking about jumping or heroin od, and will start reading about N and SN(don't know I anything about these last two yet). I hope I wrote this clear and I wasn't rembling, sorry if I did. And I hope this helps and makes you feel a little bit better, I love you.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
I wouldn't say inspire, but I find that I tend to listen to the music of those that have ended their lives more because I can relate to them, seeing as they had success and still felt the need to end their lives. I can't relate to happy successful people.
 
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cupcakesarecool

cupcakesarecool

New Member
May 17, 2019
3
I just finished reading a biography on Sylvia Plath, the relatively famous 20th century American poet who attempted suicide first at age 20 and completed the deed 10 years later. I don't want to idolize her; she definitely had her issues, narcissism apparently was one of them...but that her life ended early is truly a tragedy. She was able to write such beautiful & introspective poems not despite of, but inspired by, her mental turmoil.
 
BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Virginia Woolf and Chester Bennington
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
I'm not so sure suicide should be something meant to inspire others.
When you are suicidal, you have your own reasons to want to die. Or need to.
I think it's quite alright to relate to people's plights who have passed on this way.
But to inspire is to breathe air into something, to urge someone to do something.

I'm not sure you meant it that way.
I just know that when I go, I won't be thinking about all these famous people who died spectacularly.
Not that I never dreamt of death being the climax of my life..but obviously if I'm going out now, when I've not even had a chance to live, it's the opposite of a high point.

I've read plenty of the stories like the one you shared and the romanticizing of such. They all have their interest. I believe though, that the true suffering that comes from the chase to catch the bus, has no room and no place for all that.
 
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throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,446
I'm not so sure suicide should be something meant to inspire others.
When you are suicidal, you have your own reasons to want to die. Or need to.
I think it's quite alright to relate to people's plights who have passed on this way.
But to inspire is to breathe air into something, to urge someone to do something.

I'm not sure you meant it that way.
I just know that when I go, I won't be thinking about all these famous people who died spectacularly.
Not that I never dreamt of death being the climax of my life..but obviously if I'm going out now, when I've not even had a chance to live, it's the opposite of a high point.

I've read plenty of the stories like the one you shared and the romanticizing of such. They all have their interest. I believe though, that the true suffering that comes from the chase to catch the bus, has no room and no place for all that.
This.
When life becomes too painful, death becomes salvation.
I think for many suicide has become a kind of ideology. Like efilism for example. I also think that's quite sad.
For some life is beautiful, for some life is horrible and the only way out is suicide.
It's nothing to be ashamed of and it is not wrong. It's a choice everyone has to make for themselves.
But it should definitely not be something that should be romanticized. Otherwise it may end up as a cult, like drinking the kool-aid or Heaven's Gate and that's definetly not good.

Suicide is something that should be done alone. It's not a group thing and that's why I am also against searching for partners. It almost never works out and it's better go alone.
 
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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
My favourite is Cato minor: a Roman senator and Stoic philosopher who strongly opposed Julius Caesar during the civil war and who took his own life when the Republican party lead by Pompey was defeated by Caesar. His death is reported by Plutarch: as was the custom among noble Romans he fell on his sword but given that he had injured his hand previously his aim wasn't true and he lived. When a doctor tried to bandage his wounds he pushed him, reached in and tore out his bowles. Which of course caused his death.

I pick him not because of the gory nature of his death but because of his supreme courage and the great meaning his suicide had in Rome's political and cultural history. He was a great man by all accounts and in his death he showed supreme willpower.

This article/blog post mentions the Plutarch's description: https://www.thoughtco.com/the-suicide-of-cato-the-younger-117942.

Obviously one should CTB for one's own reasons (preferably well thought out) but I am interested in how others did it and how they behaved if that is known. At the very least it shows self-chosen death is quite possible and if one feels one needs to do it imo it'd be good to keep in mind inspiring examples such as Cato. Not for the method obviously but as an example of supreme courage and dignity in the face of death and pain.
 
X

Xena

Student
May 15, 2019
108
I just finished reading a biography on Sylvia Plath, the relatively famous 20th century American poet who attempted suicide first at age 20 and completed the deed 10 years later. I don't want to idolize her; she definitely had her issues, narcissism apparently was one of them...but that her life ended early is truly a tragedy. She was able to write such beautiful & introspective poems not despite of, but inspired by, her mental turmoil.
How timely - I just read the Bell Jar.
 
JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
My favourite is Cato minor: a Roman senator and Stoic philosopher who strongly opposed Julius Caesar during the civil war and who took his own life when the Republican party lead by Pompey was defeated by Caesar. His death is reported by Plutarch: as was the custom among noble Romans he fell on his sword but given that he had injured his hand previously his aim wasn't true and he lived. When a doctor tried to bandage his wounds he pushed him, reached in and tore out his bowles. Which of course caused his death.

I pick him not because of the gory nature of his death but because of his supreme courage and the great meaning his suicide had in Rome's political and cultural history. He was a great man by all accounts and in his death he showed supreme willpower.

This article/blog post mentions the Plutarch's description: https://www.thoughtco.com/the-suicide-of-cato-the-younger-117942.

Obviously one should CTB for one's own reasons (preferably well thought out) but I am interested in how others did it and how they behaved if that is known. At the very least it shows self-chosen death is quite possible and if one feels one needs to do it imo it'd be good to keep in mind inspiring examples such as Cato. Not for the method obviously but as an example of supreme courage and dignity in the face of death and pain.
It's always interesting to read about the painful methods people in the past resorted to when taking their lives. It seems people had more control of their survival instinct back then or a stronger threshold for pain.
How timely - I just read the Bell Jar.
One of my favorite novels. I remember there being a copy of it in the psychiatric hospital I was in one time (I wouldn't have expected them to have a novel written by someone who committed suicide).
 
X

Xena

Student
May 15, 2019
108
Yes, thats very ironic, given the subject matter.
 

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