I've lost a few.
First was a cousin I was close to. He ctb via gun. He had just had a daughter and the family was devastated. I was sad for a while, I missed talking on the phone with him. It happened in 2002 I believe. I still feel bad for him but I think it was for the best. I didn't know it at the time but he had a sexual attraction towards children. I believe he shot himself to protect his daughter.
Second was a female cousin. She hung herself by her ceiling fan after boarding up her apartment. It was the end of August and the temperatures were average 90°. She was there for a week before she was found. I was sad for her, but I only met her a few times. This was in 2007. I don't usually think about her often unless I read of someone using the same method.
Third was a friend. He suffered intractable headaches and shot himself. That one hurt. I watched his children for a few days and bought them funeral attire. Then cleaned their toys from his brain matter and blood. This was 2016. I still think of him and I'm sad for his children but I'm glad his pain is over.
Most recently, my fil ctb unexpectedly. It was the day the government shut down with the stay at home order for coronavirus. Last he told us was he was going to stay in his home for awhile. We didn't hear from him, and when my husband's birthday came and went without hearing from him we knew something was wrong. We were told he hadn't been online in 2 weeks, so we knew. He slit his wrists and was badly decomposed when we found him. I cried many times with guilt and jealousy. It hasn't been long since he passed, about 4 months, and I could just shake him for not talking to us. Not that it would have made a difference, but a proper goodbye would have been nice. The feelings regarding him are still all over the place.
That's just my own view on them and how it has affected me... but my children are negatively affected and my husband has horrific panic attacks on and off from flash backs of finding his father in that state. I'm angry with him, not for ctb, but for us finding him the way we did.