Who else used to be happy?

[patati157]

I had money, a girlfriend, a job, was in college, loving family, parents had a nice restaurant
Until my Psychosis attack due to drugs abuse.
lost all my money, lost girlfriend, lost my job, dropped college, my parents restaurant is going to bankrupt.

Lost everything. I had a good life with no suicidal thoughts, but then the psychosis destroyed everything. All I think is that if I didnt use the drugs that day I would still be happy.

Anybody had a similar experience that used to have a good life until some terrible decision destroyed everything?

 

[NextSummer]

Same here. It came totally unexpected. I think it wasn't even drug-related. Half a year ago I never thought I'd suicide, had a wonderful time. Sometimes I can't believe this is all happening.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

I had money, a girlfriend, a job, was in college, loving family, parents had a nice restaurant
Until my Psychosis attack due to drugs abuse.
lost all my money, lost girlfriend, lost my job, dropped college, my parents restaurant is going to bankrupt.

Lost everything. I had a good life with no suicidal thoughts, but then the psychosis destroyed everything. All I think is that if I didnt use the drugs that day I would still be happy.

Anybody had a similar experience that used to have a good life until some terrible decision destroyed everything?

I used to have a happy life untill I took a decision which looked logical back then, that decision has fucked up my life forever forcing me to CTB

 

[patati157]

I used to have a happy life untill I took a decision which looked logical back then, that decision has fucked up my life forever forcing me to CTB

What was it?

I used to have a happy life untill I took a decision which looked logical back then, that decision has fucked up my life forever forcing me to CTB

What was it?

 

[toolateforme]

I was happy when I was oblivious. I don't know if I could say I wish I was still oblivious.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

What was it?

Being under pressure by a new manager who was under trial, he wanted to improve to the management that he is capable by anymeans, which has forced me to look for another opportunities, I found an opportunity with a 70% salary increase but ended up with a worse abusive manager who used his power and authority to destroy me, kept regretting leaving my old job, now I am jobless and in deep debt, there is no way for me other than sucide !!

 

[appalachian moon]

Yeah I relate to what you mean. In a past life I never thought of suicide and it didn't cross my mind, but this was when I was like 5.
I used to have a loving (ex)girlfriend, supportive friends, was succeeding academically and family was doing okay.
But then I relapsed in depression, couldn't handle the pain and tried to kill myself. Family and friends lost their trust in me and made me feel guilty for wanting to alleviate my suffering. Now I have strained relationships with them or have distanced myself from them.
I've learnt in life that happiness can only last so long until your inner demons take over.

I was happy when I was oblivious. I don't know if I could say I wish I was still oblivious.

Ignorance is bliss.

 

[Tortured_empath]

Very much so yes. I would say I was very happy with life and who I was until an accident destroyed both. I almost wish I didn't have a good life to look back at though, or that I could forget everything about it, because it haunts me every day... every single fucking day...

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Very much so yes. I would say I was very happy with life and who I was until an accident destroyed both. I almost wish I hadn't though, or that I could forget everything about it, because it haunts me every day... every single fucking day...

What was the accident...?

 

[inconsequential]

I was better. I was never happy.

When you come from a very abusive childhood home, you don't know what actual happiness is. I lost it along with my innocence.

 

[Tortured_empath]

What was the accident...?

I was hit by a car and sustained a brain injury.

 

[whyidon'tknow]

I think I was only truly happy when I had the innocence of youth....goddamn..... you got me tearing up at work

 

[Extremly kind <3]

I was hit by a car and sustained a brain injury.

Sorry to hear that, life is extremly harsh for somepeople, I wish I was not born :(

I was better. I was never happy.

When you come from a very abusive childhood home, you don't know what actual happiness is. I lost it along with my innocence.

So what are you going to do..?

I think I was only truly happy when I had the innocence of youth....goddamn..... you got me tearing up at work

What happened ?

 

[BipolarExpat]

For the most part, yes...up until around age 31 (I'm 48 now).

At 31,...had just been promoted to general manager at a language school in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - living rent free on a decent compound with my (1st) lovely wife and boom first major depression hit hard.

Have been cycling up and down ever since.

Of course when I was up, I was ecstatic. I dunno if that'll ever happen again tho. Getting too old now, no security, this field isn't getting better, no retirement plan, etc.

 

[appalachian moon]

I was better. I was never happy.

When you come from a very abusive childhood home, you don't know what actual happiness is. I lost it along with my innocence.

Being robbed of your childhood and having to live with traumatic memories of the past fuels my bitter view of this world. Others just think I'm being pessimistic and moody but they never question or look beyond it.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

For the most part, yes...up until around age 31 (I'm 48 now).

At 31,...had just been promoted to general manager at a language school in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - living rent free on a decent compound with my (1st) lovely wife and boom first major depression hit hard.

Have been cycling up and down ever since.

Of course when I was up, I was ecstatic. I dunno if that'll ever happen again tho. Getting too old now, no security, this field isn't getting better, no retirement plan, etc.

Hi BipolarExpat, good to hear from you again, are you planning to CTB..?

 

[BipolarExpat]

Hi BipolarExpat, good to hear from you again, are you planning to CTB..?

Hi there. No active plans at the moment. Need to save some money for awhile.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Yeah similar experience here.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Yeah similar experience here.

Can you share please...?

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

Happiness is elusive. One moment it's enveloping you with so much gratitude you can only see sunshine. The next, you're unable to look up because of the torrential downpour.

 

[Sailfisher]

Happiness came and went twice.

 

[Kaput]

Sounds very relatable, unfortunately. Not drugs, but everything gone in a flash . Hugs.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Can you share please...?

The summer before I was supposed to start college, I met someone who for some reason I believed I was in love with and I lost all perspective in my life after he left. He left and I was due to see him again in 3 months. During his absence, I became quite self-destructive because I knew that it wouldn't work out. I didn't realise how unwell I had become and had a cannabis related psychotic episode. This caused me to lose my place to study and has derailed all of my plans. I could make a new plan, but the past years have been so draining that most days I would much rather just give up. So I also lost a lot due to psychosis.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Hi there. No active plans at the moment. Need to save some money for awhile.

Save money for a CTB method...?

 

[BipolarExpat]

Save money for a CTB method...?

Not exactly. I'll want to give my wife a fair amount of cash before I leave.

 

[Robbyna]

I had money, a girlfriend, a job, was in college, loving family, parents had a nice restaurant
Until my Psychosis attack due to drugs abuse.
lost all my money, lost girlfriend, lost my job, dropped college, my parents restaurant is going to bankrupt.

Lost everything. I had a good life with no suicidal thoughts, but then the psychosis destroyed everything. All I think is that if I didnt use the drugs that day I would still be happy.

Anybody had a similar experience that used to have a good life until some terrible decision destroyed everything?

My experience is just like this. I wish I never got high.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Not exactly. I'll want to give my wife a fair amount of cash before I leave.

How kind you are, I can c that most of the people here are gentle, smart and kind, it is really unfair that those people are facing unfortunate events and mental disorders !

 

[lynn14]

Absolutely, yes, I used to be happy. Youth= opportunity, potential, beauty. I've semi-squandered some of these, and as a consequence there is nothing much to look forward to.

 

[BipolarExpat]

How kind you are, I can c that most of the people here are gentle, smart and kind, it is really unfair that those people are facing unfortunate events and mental disorders !

sigh And so it is Ek<3

...and so it unfortunately is.

 

[Shamana]

I've had some decent years in my life, some happy childhood years some of them, but in general i've not been happy, but coping for large parts of it and not coping anymore.