Discussion Who else here has an eating disorder?

[xLosthopex]

I'm wondering if many others here also have an eating disorder, and how/if it relates to you wanting to CTB? I guess for me the relationship between the two has been quite significant. I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa when I was 14, and at that time I was actually using it as both a coping mechanism and a means to ctb. I have experienced both the restrictive subtype and binge/purge subtype. Currently dealing with binge/purge
I am also underweight, although I am far from my lowest weight and I would like to get back to that before I ctb(35kg/BMI 11), my preferred method is SN but it's possible this will kill me in the meantime. But for now my ED is actually one of the only things keeping me going, it's an addiction after all, and for me has been a very good(albeit, destructive and dangerous) coping mechanism

 

[harkovv]

I was diagnosed with Bulimia in 2013. It's still with me, i don't have healthy relation with food. I don't think my ED has something to do with my plans to ctb but for sure I have a lot of stomach diseases because of bulimia and medicines for it makes me sad/numb/suicidal. Living with ED is not fun and absolutely it doesn't keep me going but I understand you.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I've had EDs for 30+ years - AN, BN, AN B/P subtype, etc. I started up around the time Lockdown started. I restrict through the week (with laxies) and B/P on weekends. It's a fun life for sure but chasing numbers on a scale and a tape measure keep me busy. I don't have anything else since losing my job and my social networks.

Ctb plans break up the monotony

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I binged and purged for about 15 years but recovered, it is not a reason for me for ctb. But I understand how -- ironically -- consuming eating disorders can be, and I have compassion for anyone who experiences them and can understand how shame, frustration, or other related issues can motivate someone to want to end the suffering or end themselves, the latter of which I particularly feel in my heart such empathy for and wish I could make better.

 

[Soul]

I've been diagnosed with anorexia. It's under control now but ... yeah, it's still there. It's not part of my intention to kill myself, though.

 

[RottenDeer]

I don't have a real eating disorder but I am struggling with disordered eating for years.

 

[glitchgirl]

I still struggle to admit I have one, even when the ambulance was called on me a few days ago because I purged a lot and got dizzy and almost fainted, the paramedics checked my vitals and said my blood pressure was very low and that they had advised me to come in. I refused because I feel like this ED is my fault and I'd be wasting their time. I don't care if it kills me anymore, since it's another way I can CTB, but watching my body waste away is frightening to say the least. But I am addicted to the feeling of being in control and purposely denying my body of nutrients because I have so much hated towards myself.