Discussion Who else can relate to the description of the "adult child"

[BitterlyAlive]

The "adult child" is basically someone who is stuck with issues such as child-like thinking, codependency, and general struggles adjusting to adulthood.

It sounds condescending, and I'm sorry I can't explain it better. From my understanding, it's simply someone who struggles with such things due to a tumultuous upbringing. Adult children tend to come from alcoholic or generally dysfunctional families.

Here are some resources:

Quora (it has a few good explanations)
Adult Child Organization
Very Well Mind

 

[Deleted member 17331]

It hit me... I identified with most issues and my chest hurt a little.

In the past few years I have been involved with dangerous people, and my parents said that I was 'lucky' that I wasn't killed.

I just never understood why I trusted people so easily, I always got into trouble because of my naivete. In my childhood, I had problems with a member of my family and I grew up with it until I learned that what this person was doing was wrong...

After what I read here, I feel more comfortable, but I still feel guilty. I don't know... I just feel like shit.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It hit me... I identified with most issues and my chest hurt a little.

In the past few years I have been involved with dangerous people, and my parents said that I was 'lucky' that I wasn't killed.

I just never understood why I trusted people so easily, I always got into trouble because of my naivete. In my childhood, I had problems with a member of my family and I grew up with it until I learned that what this person was doing was wrong...

After what I read here, I feel more comfortable, but I still feel guilty. I don't know... I just feel like shit.

Tbh I feel really shitty about it too. I felt so guilty when I first read it that I wanted to puke.

At least we have a possible reason as to why we turned out this way? Unfortunately, the solution seems based in inner child therapy - I want my inner child to die, I resent it. I absolutely hate it. How am I supposed to "parent" myself if I hate myself?

 

[Good4Nothing]

Yup. That's me. Fuck you, "dad".

 

[Final Escape]

Yea, worst hell to bring on a child is to create this future for them.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I can relate to this. I've been a 'mommy's boy' my entire life. I've never obtained a healthy independence. Somewhere along the line something went wrong, or perhaps I was just born fucked up mentally.

 

[Misery99]

Yes I live like a kid even though I'm a 26 years old adult. I haven't had life experiences an adult should have. Like travelling on my own. My family discourage me and make me scared of the outside world. Especially my mom and sister. They don't even help me to push me out of my comfort zoon. Last year I wanted to go on a date with a man for the first time ever in my life. I was so excited to take a bus on my own and go meet him. But my mom and sister stopped me from doing it saying I can't do it since I haven't taken a bus and gone anywhere alone before.

 

[RileyTanaka]

I don't personally relate to being an adult child. But I do know someone who is 40, lives at home (never moved out), and pretty much is like a mish-mash of hikikomori and a manchild. He doesn't clean up after himself and lives like he's 14, playing video games all day, and just laying around. It's weird because he can literally take apart a computer and put it back together, but he doesn't know basic social pleasantries (which you kind of need in order to get through adult interaction). I suspect something really bad happened to him when he was younger that he doesn't discuss.

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

Who else can relate to the description of the "adult child"?

Meee, meee! Pick meeeeeeee!

I can relate to this. I've been a 'mommy's boy' my entire life. I've never obtained a healthy independence. Somewhere along the line something went wrong, or perhaps I was just born fucked up mentally.

Totally me. As the product of a totally dysfunctional family I am now a bit of a loser.

 

[Grey-zone]

I don't personally relate to being an adult child. But I do know someone who is 40, lives at home (never moved out), and pretty much is like a mish-mash of hikikomori and a manchild. He doesn't clean up after himself and lives like he's 14, playing video games all day, and just laying around. It's weird because he can literally take apart a computer and put it back together, but he doesn't know basic social pleasantries (which you kind of need in order to get through adult interaction). I suspect something really bad happened to him when he was younger that he doesn't discuss.

Hell, he could be a member of this site. His life sounds a lot like what mine might have been like if I hadn't met my gf. Not that I'm adulting well either at the age of 29. I was kind of raised not to function in this society--perhaps your acquaintance had a similar upbringing. In any case, if he doesn't have the social skills it's kind of a moot point--he could move out, but would likely be far more miserable.
I feel like there needs to be an organization for us adult-challenged adults. There are only going to be more of us in the future.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I'm the "responsible child" type. I like living on my own. Definitely not a momma's boy.
I'm emotionally immature, though, from being gaslighted by my stepfather all my life. I don't know how to deal with my emotions. I don't know how to deal with other people. When I get emotionally overwhelmed I get frustrated, and that frustration turns into anger. I've sabotaged my life so many times when I got confused by my emotions, and my fight or flight instinct kicked in.

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

I definitely identify with this. In my early 20s I went through a period where I was fairly independent and more importantly felt independent. Since then I've regressed heavily. Sometimes it feels like I was more emotionally mature and independent at 16 than I'm now over a decade later.

 

[mediocre]

I'm a definitely a 12 year old stuck in a 27 year old mans body. I have Aspergers and I am basically housebound even though I don't have physical disabilities but I have physical pain. I can't even call to make a doctors appointment without struggling. I am so useless. If my mum dies I will not be able to cope without someone there to help and guide me.m or help me when I'm stuck. I worry so much about being able to live I am becoming more isolated by the day. It's like a desperation to get out of this world and this body and this mind. That's my ramble for today...

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I am. Thanks to a childhood full of abuse I'm stuck with a brain much like that of a 15/16 year old. Taking care of others, no problems. But when it comes to myself...I'm still looking for the adult who's going to help me. And I'm in my early forties

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Yikes.
I read the quora one and it fits quite well. Alarmingly well. Hell, I even caught myself taking it personally at first.
90% adult child here.

 

[Mr2005]

Donald Trump

 

[Cashewmilk]

Nailed it. It actually sounds a lot like borderline personality disorder too. But yup, I had my emotionally abusive mom who thrives on screaming and being incessantly negative with constant negative energy, and my alcoholic drug addicted pedophile father.. to be fair he's not really a pedophile he's more of a creep who likes young guys. But yeah it was completely fucked up my family is so fucked up. My mom saw evidence of creepy behavior and still fucking stayed and conceived me!!! The only good thing is that my dad only started acting out when I was 13 after his mother died. Before that he was a wonderful dad, I still love and care about him and see him all the time, he's sick and old and mentally ill. And there's my older sister who also contributed to my demise. Everyone is always like "what happened to you, you never got sexually abused or beaten"... but my sister figured it out she says it's because of our parents I'm like this, but also because of her too.

I'm living with mom still and just moved down to the basement lol! Total cliché. Mom treats me like a kid and I act like it, I can't help it. It makes me super happy and content to talk in baby voices and make funny faces. My mom tried to stop me a few years ago but I told her to F off. I'm not going to change my personality to please anyone. I'm sick of it. If I want to sing lullabies and squeak, so be it. I know this isn't literally what Adult Children mean but it definitely is the cherry on top. I often say I feel 15 years old.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I feel this. Its why I want to die. Then I wont have the deal with this shit anymore :)