I think many of us had/have very cruel and horrible nightmares. This can be caused by depression or by medication. Several medication of mine caused very vivid and brutal nightmares. It is hard to say which one was the worst. But I can remember some of them.
I have made a big mistake with one medication. I had a tough night with many nightmares and I struggled to sleep. During the night roundabout at 4 am I wanted to take something in order to sleep better (a tricylcic antidepressant) . But the contrary happened. My nightmares were way way worse after I took it. The problem for me was I wanted to continue to sleep or rather I really need my sleep in order to stay stable. This forced me to my desperate attempts to continue sleeping. But the nightmares just became worse and worse. Normally the medication helped me to sleep. However seemingly it was not a good idea to use it during sleeping time. It worked when I took it before sleeping though. I waked up time like every 5 minutes but I just needed the sleep. In these nightmares I experienced torture, Very brutal one. The nightmares were extremely vivid. Sometimes I have lucid dreams and I could partly control my dreams. I accelerated my brutal deaths which I had to endure in these dreams because often when I died I also woke up. Yeah it was quite insane. I can remember the content partly. Maybe this is the content of several nights and not exactly one night. In real life I once tried a bit partial. In this very vivid nightmare I had exactly the same feeling as to the time when I tried parttial hanging. In this dream I suffocated very slowly. I can remember it very well. I described the feeling afterwards to my friends. And I thought now I know how it feels to suffocate.
My nightmares always know my weak spots. The things with which they can trigger me. I don't often dream about the domestic violence/ abuse from my childhood. I have remolded that during my psychotherapy. But I have dreamed so many time about the bullying as a teenager. This can trigger me a lot. I have never really remolded the bullying I still feel very ashamed about it. And I partly blame myself for being bullied. I have had many dreams about it. I always feel so ashamed this all shaped me so much. It really is very uncomfortable when I dream about them. I can remember all the names and faces from my bullies. I can exactly say what they did to me. And I experience it over and over again in my nightmares.
Other resaons for my nightmares were extreme acute suicidality and depression. It was such a pain. I sometimes but not often dream about the gore which I watched as a teenager. I regret that I have done that and I am glad I don't dream often about it.
A very remarkable one was during my first severe depression. I was extremely depressed and had extreme psychosomatic pain. I was quite young to that time. I was partly religious (due to my family) and this caused a lot of anxiety about hell. This nightmare was one reason why I decided to become atheist or at least agnostic. I dreamed there was a party at my school. My bullies/students from my school and patients from the psychiatry celebrated that I will go to hell when I commit suicide. They spit in my face and told me something like we are glad you go to hell and you deserve it.
Yeah I felt really guilty for wanting to die. My grandma also told me to be careful what if I went to hell for it. Yeah it was really a relief for me to read more about atheism and losing my faith. For some faith can give strength. But for me the opposite was true.
What are your most horrible experiences with nightmares? They can torture you a lot. I know that.
I have made a big mistake with one medication. I had a tough night with many nightmares and I struggled to sleep. During the night roundabout at 4 am I wanted to take something in order to sleep better (a tricylcic antidepressant) . But the contrary happened. My nightmares were way way worse after I took it. The problem for me was I wanted to continue to sleep or rather I really need my sleep in order to stay stable. This forced me to my desperate attempts to continue sleeping. But the nightmares just became worse and worse. Normally the medication helped me to sleep. However seemingly it was not a good idea to use it during sleeping time. It worked when I took it before sleeping though. I waked up time like every 5 minutes but I just needed the sleep. In these nightmares I experienced torture, Very brutal one. The nightmares were extremely vivid. Sometimes I have lucid dreams and I could partly control my dreams. I accelerated my brutal deaths which I had to endure in these dreams because often when I died I also woke up. Yeah it was quite insane. I can remember the content partly. Maybe this is the content of several nights and not exactly one night. In real life I once tried a bit partial. In this very vivid nightmare I had exactly the same feeling as to the time when I tried parttial hanging. In this dream I suffocated very slowly. I can remember it very well. I described the feeling afterwards to my friends. And I thought now I know how it feels to suffocate.
My nightmares always know my weak spots. The things with which they can trigger me. I don't often dream about the domestic violence/ abuse from my childhood. I have remolded that during my psychotherapy. But I have dreamed so many time about the bullying as a teenager. This can trigger me a lot. I have never really remolded the bullying I still feel very ashamed about it. And I partly blame myself for being bullied. I have had many dreams about it. I always feel so ashamed this all shaped me so much. It really is very uncomfortable when I dream about them. I can remember all the names and faces from my bullies. I can exactly say what they did to me. And I experience it over and over again in my nightmares.
Other resaons for my nightmares were extreme acute suicidality and depression. It was such a pain. I sometimes but not often dream about the gore which I watched as a teenager. I regret that I have done that and I am glad I don't dream often about it.
A very remarkable one was during my first severe depression. I was extremely depressed and had extreme psychosomatic pain. I was quite young to that time. I was partly religious (due to my family) and this caused a lot of anxiety about hell. This nightmare was one reason why I decided to become atheist or at least agnostic. I dreamed there was a party at my school. My bullies/students from my school and patients from the psychiatry celebrated that I will go to hell when I commit suicide. They spit in my face and told me something like we are glad you go to hell and you deserve it.
Yeah I felt really guilty for wanting to die. My grandma also told me to be careful what if I went to hell for it. Yeah it was really a relief for me to read more about atheism and losing my faith. For some faith can give strength. But for me the opposite was true.
What are your most horrible experiences with nightmares? They can torture you a lot. I know that.
Last edited:
… sounds horrible.
