Help Which way will be less cruel?

[enditplz]

I have an amazing spouse. They treat me well. Yet I have been struggling with depression my entire life and no longer wish to continue living.

Should I ctb at home and leave him a note letting him know I love him and my decision had nothing to do with him? Or should I divorce him, lie to him about no longer loving him, then move far away to ctb so that he never finds out?

Which option would be best?

 

[Darkover]

i'd go with the first option if they really love you they understand why you did it, If you love someone and they want to leave, you help them pack. That's love.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that the first option would be way less cruel. At least then they would have some closure and maybe some kind of understanding as to how much you have suffered in life.

 

[stermc]

I would let him a note but maybe you could ctb at another place? If you could, I think it would cause less trauma.
But definitely the first option.

Also, I am sorry you are going through this.

 

[don't want it]

All options are difficult, I really don't know

 

[sevenkarmas]

Both ways will hurt him if he loves you. Regardless, he will have questions about his ability or lack of ability to see the signs/help, etc. He will question, in both cases, if he drove you away or made you feel unloved.

I'm not arguing for or against, but there's no true right/wrong answer here. At the end of the day, CTB'ing is a selfish act because it centers on the individual's happiness (or lack of) or release instead of being concerned about those around them. Part of being ready to ctb is understanding that.

 

[lionetta12]

I have an amazing spouse. They treat me well. Yet I have been struggling with depression my entire life and no longer wish to continue living.

Should I ctb at home and leave him a note letting him know I love him and my decision had nothing to do with him? Or should I divorce him, lie to him about no longer loving him, then move far away to ctb so that he never finds out?

Which option would be best?

The second one sounds like the worst one to me, not knowing anything makes me more uneasy and anxious than knowing things, even if it's something bad. Divorces can also be expensive and lenghty and it will be devastating for them to be told that you no longer love them. It's better to be honest than to lie. Whenever I tried to CTB, I left notes for my partner letting them know that I love them.

 

[subhumantrash]

I'll be honest with you. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh but, there is no such outcome where you won't hurt him. If you love him more than your desire to cbt (which is what I am experiencing) it will cause great despair, but the few moments where I can make the people I am alive for, happy, I'm truly happy.
I hope everything goes well for you and your spouse, good luck.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

i'd go with the first option if they really love you they understand why you did it, If you love someone and they want to leave, you help them pack. That's love.

This!
I fully agree with the Terrence-McKenna-raver
(boy how many years I've spent listening to McKenna and looking for answers in psychedelics, DMT, mushrooms, etc.).

 

[DukeDestroyer]

The first option seems less cruel. But I'd ctb in a different location.

 

[lukas19]

I have an amazing spouse. They treat me well. Yet I have been struggling with depression my entire life and no longer wish to continue living.

Should I ctb at home and leave him a note letting him know I love him and my decision had nothing to do with him? Or should I divorce him, lie to him about no longer loving him, then move far away to ctb so that he never finds out?

Which option would be best?

stay with him but CTB in hotel as your corpse will be his last image of you a letter will explain your reasons

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm in a similar situation. I'm planning to leave a note explaining that it's not his fault, he knows I'm sick and in pain. Then I'm going to CTB at a hotel so I don't traumatize him further and taint the house we own.

 

[Scythe]

If you're willing to take the risk of being hospitalized, you can talk to him about this beforehand so it's less of a surprise. (Assuming you haven't done this yet.) However, don't go with the second option, he deserves the truth.

 

[aSilentVoice]

I wouldn't recommend divorce since you both love each other. And CTB at home could be traumatizing to him. My parents split. It's not fun even when it's the right choice. Before experiencing their divorce, it wasn't something I could fully grasp the ramifications of and fully empathize with when a friend's parents split. And it still hurts more than a decade later.

 

[archiemex]

I have an amazing spouse. They treat me well. Yet I have been struggling with depression my entire life and no longer wish to continue living.

Should I ctb at home and leave him a note letting him know I love him and my decision had nothing to do with him? Or should I divorce him, lie to him about no longer loving him, then move far away to ctb so that he never finds out?

Which option would be best?

The first option but please dont CTB in your house, try to do it somewhere where your spouse wont be. I cant imagine the amount of hurt your spouse will feel seeing your dead body.