Yesterday I saw a shocking youtube video without really knowing what I was klicking on. I watched it shortly before was going to sleep. It was no gore. But I was scared about my unconsciousness getting nightmares and stuff like that.
I think I faced my unconsciousness quite often in life. The most extreme form is getting a psychosis. Your unconsciousness and animalistic instincts take over control. This is quite scary and I hated it because I am a control freak. Before getting my psychosis I ignored my unconsciousness and suppressed my emotions feelings, suicidal thoughts etc. I had no healthy coping mechanisms so my soul found another way to rebel.
I think one common way to face your unconsciousness is dreaming. We often dream about things that process through our minds. Sometimes that is unpleasant stuff, things we would like to ingore. We call that nightmares. When I have nighmares the topics are often related to my bullying or things I feel ashamed about. I think often a topic of a certain dream is related to the things we think about before going to sleep. Things I could not come to terms with are often parts of my nightmares. To speak openly about the things that tortureme is good way for me to avoid dreaming about these issues.
After I saw that video I kept thinking about it. Trying to speak to myself what I have seen and how I can cope with it. I think this is something one cn try to learn with a therapist. Trying to find healthy coping mechanisms. As a teenager I did not have any of that. My bad feelings accumulated instead and the result was a psychosis. Today when it gets really bad I have to take addictive medication I don't have a healthy response for every issue.
But I was successful with cognitively processing my feelings. Usually writing in this forum is a good way to cope for me.
I have daily severe suicidal thoughts. I try not to think too much about it daily. But in the evenings when I am feeling the worst I allow myself to actively think about them. This is the best way for me to live with them. They are a huge part of my consciousness and only suppressing them feels horrible.
I think ignoring your unconsciousness for a too long time can result in mental illness. But this does not fit to everyone and I am no expert. But I think one has to try to get a healthy relation to one self. This is something therapy sessions should teach you. Becoming a friend of yourself. Not being too harsh with yourself. I struggle with that a lot but I did some progress. My biggest issue is my OCD behavior. I don't want to let these behaviors go. But they determine my whole life. But as long as I can control them enough so that their torture won't cause another psychosis I am fine with my demons. However I think it is only matter of time till the evil ghosts that haunt me will return.
Can you tell about your experiences with your unconsciousness?
I think I faced my unconsciousness quite often in life. The most extreme form is getting a psychosis. Your unconsciousness and animalistic instincts take over control. This is quite scary and I hated it because I am a control freak. Before getting my psychosis I ignored my unconsciousness and suppressed my emotions feelings, suicidal thoughts etc. I had no healthy coping mechanisms so my soul found another way to rebel.
I think one common way to face your unconsciousness is dreaming. We often dream about things that process through our minds. Sometimes that is unpleasant stuff, things we would like to ingore. We call that nightmares. When I have nighmares the topics are often related to my bullying or things I feel ashamed about. I think often a topic of a certain dream is related to the things we think about before going to sleep. Things I could not come to terms with are often parts of my nightmares. To speak openly about the things that tortureme is good way for me to avoid dreaming about these issues.
After I saw that video I kept thinking about it. Trying to speak to myself what I have seen and how I can cope with it. I think this is something one cn try to learn with a therapist. Trying to find healthy coping mechanisms. As a teenager I did not have any of that. My bad feelings accumulated instead and the result was a psychosis. Today when it gets really bad I have to take addictive medication I don't have a healthy response for every issue.
But I was successful with cognitively processing my feelings. Usually writing in this forum is a good way to cope for me.
I have daily severe suicidal thoughts. I try not to think too much about it daily. But in the evenings when I am feeling the worst I allow myself to actively think about them. This is the best way for me to live with them. They are a huge part of my consciousness and only suppressing them feels horrible.
I think ignoring your unconsciousness for a too long time can result in mental illness. But this does not fit to everyone and I am no expert. But I think one has to try to get a healthy relation to one self. This is something therapy sessions should teach you. Becoming a friend of yourself. Not being too harsh with yourself. I struggle with that a lot but I did some progress. My biggest issue is my OCD behavior. I don't want to let these behaviors go. But they determine my whole life. But as long as I can control them enough so that their torture won't cause another psychosis I am fine with my demons. However I think it is only matter of time till the evil ghosts that haunt me will return.
Can you tell about your experiences with your unconsciousness?
