Which are the things people regret the most shortly before they die?

[noname223]

I watched a philosophy show some weeks ago. The topic was death (and one's relation to it)

There was for example the question do the current crises (like covid or Ukraine) make people think more about their momentariness. (never used that word another word for it is transcience)

The philosopher talked about a book of a nurse that cared for people who were close to dying. The book is not empirical it only consists of anecdotes. (so maybe it is only a cliche).

The most commons answers would be. They worked too much, they should have spent more time with friends, they cared too much about what other people thought about them.

So this could apply to me. I am some sort of workaholic and I am extremely obsessed what other people think of me. I once started a college subject that did not fit to me at all. I only started that because others told me to do so. I am glad I changed the subject.


Here some others anecdotes which things the people regret the most from a quick internet search.

-I wish I had accomplished more.
-I wish I had told person x how I truly felt. I told my mom that I love her shortly after her stroke. And I am kind of glad that I did that. I think I would have felt bad if she just died.
-I wish I had followed my passion in life. I kind of try that.
-I wish our last conversation hadn't been an argument.
- I wish I had let my children grow up to be who they wanted to be. (my parents might should think that more often.)
-I wish I had lived more in the moment. Maybe this fits my life accurately
-I wish I had traveled more. I don't care about that.
-I wish I hadn't worried so much. Fits perfectly
-I wish I'd had more time. I doubt that this will be my final thought.
-I wish I could have felt happier. I could very well imagine this will be my final thought or something similar.

These are just ideas and might don't contain truth. it is just a quick search from the internet.

What do you think is the thing many people regret the most?

 

[Teddybear]

Wasting so much of my life trying to please people I could never ever satisfy.

 

[CTB Dream]

Not ctb before

 

[Pluto]

I have a young friend with cancer who has routinely interacted with end-of-life elderly people, and his conversations have validated the usual consensus of deathbed regrets.

One critic has suggested that the flaw in this research is that people being interviewed are at a different stage of life where, for example, money means nothing. Therefore, advising younger people to work less and take more risks is not based upon actually being in their shoes.

I first came across deathbed research many years ago and was moved by it. However, much of the advice has not proven relevant given my background of struggling with both the practical ailments like poverty/isolation, and the psychological issues of PTSD resulting from a narcissistic family.

Wanting to spend more time with loved ones has proven irrelevant when I've been abandoned by everyone, eventually even including friends. I have ended up working less, only to spend plenty of time rotting alone, or desperately trying to forge new connections, and unable to afford any sort of retail therapy. I've often tried to pursue passions, only to be held back by financial woes, or lacking social skills, or low energy levels, and nothing ever went anywhere.

Even though I am doing OK at this moment, in recent weeks I have come very close to CTB, and the overwhelming feeling was a regret of having not died 25 years ago when I first wanted to. My time has consisted of an enormous strain, driven in part by a kind of sunk cost fallacy type of logic, I've made no meaningful contributions and never achieved positive relationships. Having it fizzle out unceremoniously now feels like my life regret would be everything.

 

[Dida]

I wish I was more affectionate towards people, and didn't shut off my emotions.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I wish I had traveled more when I was healthy. I didn't because I was saving money for a house, and I thought I had more time.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do understand why people think things like this but I suspect I have a very twisted world view. I lost a lot of close family members in early childhood. Rather than making me see life as precious- because life can be cut short at any point, it's had the opposite effect of making me view it all as worthless. What does it matter what I did or didn't do? I guess it mattered at the time- things probably could have been better. Still, I guess it's the diffrrence between dreading death and welcoming it. I hope I'd just be so pleased that it was all about to end!

That said, I do have regrets- where I should have been a better relative or friend rather than losing myself in my work. I guess that is the same as wishing you'd spent more time with your family...

 

[sadmeltie]

I dont know exactly what I regret the most orphan I wish I could have done differently other then I wish I never met lorenzo

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

Realising suffering was pointless.

 

[DeathToSpiesSMERSH]

Wishing I had done better in school and that I treated people better, told my loved ones that I loved them a lot more. Wishing people could be proud of me I guess.

 

[freecoffee]

I wish I had made more memories. So much time spent wasted staring at the ceiling or scrolling for an occasional quick laugh at something that couldn't possibly matter any less...

 

[Source Energy]

That it didn't work out for me. That will be my regret, coz it already is.

 

[death song]

I wish I had not made so many impulsive decisions. I would be much better off today especially financially.

 

[thereisthemist]

being born would be an answer, seriously, especially before the glance of death