Recently this forum feels less active. Though we have christmas and New Year in front of us. And I don't know this should be prime-time for a suicide forum doesn't it?
I will probably not post on New Years since the yearly party with my friends. I have increased the antipsychotics and I feel fucking numb which is an up-side. I feel so fucking sad that my brain once again ruined the chance with this incredible woman. I feel physically a heat in my spinal cord because I get so fucking depressed thinking about it. Sadly this numbness won't last forever I have the feeling my brain gets used to antipsychotics pretty quickly. Now I am at the maximum. In case I need more I either have to lie to my doctors or take another one extra. I tend to the first option. I had the choice either to take a break of college or increasing the dosage. My doctors pressured me to the last option. Christmas and my personal situation makes me wanna cry. I almost cried when reading posts in suicide discussion because I can relate so fucking much. I bought me two new things for my style. Some women are attracted by my outer appearance the destroyed nervous system combined with becoming easily psychotic...well... I am going to kill myself eventually.
But this goes off-topic moaning about my tragic life.
Pillars of this forum are:
This hell on earth many of us have to face. As long as people suffer there will be people questioning the meaning of life and whether to end it all.
Poverty, discrimination, bullying, traumata, abuse, rape, mental torture, chronical diseases, pain, incurable illnesses -> it is not part of this forum but the reason why many people feel the need to vent on here and share their torment. Since most of these things never will completely vanish it is likely that there will always come new members
The internet as a technology to connect people, anti-DDOS measures, mods and an admin who are ready to take the responsibilty in their hands
Probably in some some form laws. If this forum was fully criminalized it would probably have been taken down a long time ago. But in open and liberal societies also discussing suicide is part of our freedom. The topic is more complicated but I think the authorities know we have a point in insisting that suicide is a part of human culture way before this forum was a thing. Science is not certain on the effect of forums like this one etc.
Active and passive members. Probably active members are more important. But this forum was also lost without any guests. People who don't buy into the media narrative about this place.
Probably the philosophy of this forum. The nature of this forum would change if it became pro-life I assume this is why some people tend to be a little bit too paranoid about such potential influences.
Freedom of speech.
Probably the media by demonstrating what the Streisand effect is. The society by not tackling societal ills that lead people to be suicidal in the first place. Like homelessness or the fear of it. By blocking liberal assistant suicide laws they pressure suicidal people in a grey area which is very cyncial in my opinion. It seems plausible this forum had less members if every adult had the right to apply for assisted suicide in reasonable circumstances. Now reasonable is a disputable term. Maybe people in a psychosis who were pretty happy otherwise should not receive it. But I won't spend more time to elaborate on that it needs nuances which I won't debate here.
Electricity. Lol. The planet we live on. The air we breath. Life in the first which many people of us hate. Maybe inherently or only the personal life.
I think here is a good point to stop. Fuck my life for sure.
I will probably not post on New Years since the yearly party with my friends. I have increased the antipsychotics and I feel fucking numb which is an up-side. I feel so fucking sad that my brain once again ruined the chance with this incredible woman. I feel physically a heat in my spinal cord because I get so fucking depressed thinking about it. Sadly this numbness won't last forever I have the feeling my brain gets used to antipsychotics pretty quickly. Now I am at the maximum. In case I need more I either have to lie to my doctors or take another one extra. I tend to the first option. I had the choice either to take a break of college or increasing the dosage. My doctors pressured me to the last option. Christmas and my personal situation makes me wanna cry. I almost cried when reading posts in suicide discussion because I can relate so fucking much. I bought me two new things for my style. Some women are attracted by my outer appearance the destroyed nervous system combined with becoming easily psychotic...well... I am going to kill myself eventually.
But this goes off-topic moaning about my tragic life.
Pillars of this forum are:
This hell on earth many of us have to face. As long as people suffer there will be people questioning the meaning of life and whether to end it all.
Poverty, discrimination, bullying, traumata, abuse, rape, mental torture, chronical diseases, pain, incurable illnesses -> it is not part of this forum but the reason why many people feel the need to vent on here and share their torment. Since most of these things never will completely vanish it is likely that there will always come new members
The internet as a technology to connect people, anti-DDOS measures, mods and an admin who are ready to take the responsibilty in their hands
Probably in some some form laws. If this forum was fully criminalized it would probably have been taken down a long time ago. But in open and liberal societies also discussing suicide is part of our freedom. The topic is more complicated but I think the authorities know we have a point in insisting that suicide is a part of human culture way before this forum was a thing. Science is not certain on the effect of forums like this one etc.
Active and passive members. Probably active members are more important. But this forum was also lost without any guests. People who don't buy into the media narrative about this place.
Probably the philosophy of this forum. The nature of this forum would change if it became pro-life I assume this is why some people tend to be a little bit too paranoid about such potential influences.
Freedom of speech.
Probably the media by demonstrating what the Streisand effect is. The society by not tackling societal ills that lead people to be suicidal in the first place. Like homelessness or the fear of it. By blocking liberal assistant suicide laws they pressure suicidal people in a grey area which is very cyncial in my opinion. It seems plausible this forum had less members if every adult had the right to apply for assisted suicide in reasonable circumstances. Now reasonable is a disputable term. Maybe people in a psychosis who were pretty happy otherwise should not receive it. But I won't spend more time to elaborate on that it needs nuances which I won't debate here.
Electricity. Lol. The planet we live on. The air we breath. Life in the first which many people of us hate. Maybe inherently or only the personal life.
I think here is a good point to stop. Fuck my life for sure.
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