WHERE to do it

[BipolarGuy]

I'm in two minds where to do it.

1. In a forest - peaceful and private, plus less chance of being found early.

2. On the grounds of the headquarters of the mental health trust, who are useless, to make a statement.

3. Outside the home of either my care coordinator or one of the board members of the mental health trust.
Yes, I have their home addresses.
Again to make a statement and 'bring it home' for them.

What do you think?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If you do it outside someone's home you'll just be made out to be an unbalanced stalker and they'll be made out to be a victim.

 

[BipolarGuy]

If you do it outside someone's home you'll just be made out to be an unbalanced stalker and they'll be made out to be a victim.

True.

I hadn't thought of that.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

If you're CTB "to make a statement", you're CTB for them, not for yourself.
Think deep and hard if you're doing this "to make a statement".

 

[BipolarGuy]

If you're CTB "to make a statement", you're CTB for them, not for yourself.
Think deep and hard if you're doing this "to make a statement".

I'm doing it for myself, as I'm fed up of my life being a constant crap show.

However I do wonder how things would have turned out if I was able to access any kind of help.

What do you think?

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i get doing it to make a statement, but i'm not sure if they'd even understand your statement. like GoodPersonEffed said, the homeowner would most likely be portrayed as the victim and you as the "crazy and deranged" person.

i don't know what method you're planning to use, but ctb in front of a house leads to the chance of someone intervening, like calling the hospital or the police.

i'd go for the forest, solely because if life is shit, then i would at least want my last moments to be relatively peaceful.

 

[BipolarGuy]

i get doing it to make a statement, but i'm not sure if they'd even understand your statement. like GoodPersonEffed said, the homeowner would most likely be portrayed as the victim and you as the "crazy and deranged" person.

i don't know what method you're planning to use, but ctb in front of a house leads to the chance of someone intervening, like calling the hospital or the police.

i'd go for the forest, solely because if life is shit, then i would at least want my last moments to be relatively peaceful.

Method: sodium pentobarbital ('N').

Yes I think I'd prefer the forest as it would be more relaxing and less panic inducing for me.
As I said, also less chance of being found too soon.

I guess if I wanted to make a point I could directly criticise mental health services in a note posted on social media.

 

[RedDEE]

The best way to "make a statement" by suicide, is to do it privately in a way that minimally traumatizes people and hurts other people as little as possible.

The message you give to the world will be very clear, then.

 

[BipolarGuy]

The best way to "make a statement" by suicide, is to do it privately in a way that minimally traumatizes people and hurts other people as little as possible.

The message you give to the world will be very clear, then.

Interesting, how will the message be clear?

 

[RedDEE]

Interesting, how will the message be clear?

Well, if you do it in front of someone's home, the message will be "that's some crazy guy".

If you do it in a dignified and well-thought out manner, they'll think "that guy must have really been ready to die." That's a powerful message.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Well, if you do it in front of someone's home, the message will be "that's some crazy guy".

If you do it in a dignified and well-thought out manner, they'll think "that guy must have really been ready to die." That's a powerful message.

Ok fair enough, I understand.

The reason I had the idea of doing it outside the home of somebody who works for mental health services was to 'make it real' for them.
I thought this might improve how they engage with others who will seek their help in the future.

Same reason for considering doing it on the grounds of the head office of mental health services.

But yes, this would make me look 'crazy' and they could easily take on the role of the victim.

It would be nicer for me to do it in the forest anyway.

What are your thoughts on a note - specifically one posted on social media?

 

[RedDEE]

Man I completely understand. I fucking HATE mental health services. They're just a bunch of drug-pushers, working for drug companies - and the only thing their drugs do is make you fat - and nothing else.

I know man. I know how you feel. I had a psychiatrist in a public mental health service, that could barely speak english, and when interviewing me he didn't even look at me. He stared at his computer screen. He read out a bunch of stupid meaningless questions, and put them into the computer, and the computer told him what medicines to prescribe me. He looked at me maybe 30 seconds during the hour long "interview".

I've been so pissed off at mental health services, that I didn't want to kill myself in front of their homes - I wanted to fucking burn down their homes.

But really it's not the worker's fault. They're just trying to work a job and make money and survive like everyone else. It's the corporations to blame, man. It's the power hungry pigs at the top living in mansions. There's literally nothing you can do about it on a personal level. The only thing that will stop this corrupt system is a revolt - a complete world-wide human revolt on society itself. That will never happen.

When you leave your note, just express how you feel and why you're doing it in your note, and why you think things are so corrupt. Eventually, there's gonna be enough death caused by this bullshit in our society, that maybe society will do something about it. Personally, I choose the same thing you're choosing - my personal revolt is a revolt on society, and life itself. I'm rebelling against life and everything it stands for, and I'm revolting by choosing death.

One last thought - If you leave a suicide note on social media, someone's gonna call the cops and they'll be knocking on your door in 30 minutes after you make that post if it's on a site like Facebook that has your personal information. Just keep that in mind.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Man I completely understand. I fucking HATE mental health services. They're just a bunch of drug-pushers, working for drug companies - and the only thing their drugs do is make you fat - and nothing else.

I know man. I know how you feel. I had a psychiatrist in a public mental health service, that could barely speak english, and when interviewing me he didn't even look at me. He stared at his computer screen. He read out a bunch of stupid meaningless questions, and put them into the computer, and the computer told him what medicines to prescribe me. He looked at me maybe 30 seconds during the hour long "interview".

I've been so pissed off at mental health services, that I didn't want to kill myself in front of their homes - I wanted to fucking burn down their homes.

But really it's not the worker's fault. They're just trying to work a job and make money and survive like everyone else. It's the corporations to blame, man. It's the power hungry pigs at the top living in mansions. There's literally nothing you can do about it on a personal level. The only thing that will stop this corrupt system is a revolt - a complete world-wide human revolt on society itself. That will never happen.

When you leave your note, just express how you feel and why you're doing it in your note, and why you think things are so corrupt. Eventually, there's gonna be enough death caused by this bullshit in our society, that maybe society will do something about it. Personally, I choose the same thing you're choosing - my personal revolt is a revolt on society, and life itself. I'm rebelling against life and everything it stands for, and I'm revolting by choosing death.

One last thought - If you leave a suicide note on social media, someone's gonna call the cops and they'll be knocking on your door in 30 minutes after you make that post if it's on a site like Facebook that has your personal information. Just keep that in mind.

I agree.
All health services do is ensure they're filling out the correct paperwork to ensure their own arse is covered.
It's like a political game to them.

Yes I will leave a note.
I don't plan to do it at home, so the police can do as they wish as they will not find me.

 

[Silver]

I think there would be a bigger impact if you 'name and shame' in your note - who you think failed you, and why. As you're under a CMHT there will probably be an investigation after your death into if it could have been prevented by the MH team, so you should write how you've been failed.