I get where she's coming from (hold on for a bit I'm not excusing her). I used to be that myopic. I lost a boyfriend to suicide in high school, and I used the selfish rhetoric. It's pretty empowering when one feels so attacked by the sudden, wrenching loss, and for not having been consulted and given agency in what happened, so the other person must have themselves been myopic. I was devastated, I was clueless, and I needed an explanation; the narrative of selfishness in suicide already existed and I blindly accepted it just as I used to blindly accept Christianity.
Having been impacted by his suicide, it kept me from seriously contemplating suicide when I had depression, anxiety and other severe issues. Eventually I had some healing in a lot of areas, and I came to have infintely more compassion for and acceptance others than I'd ever imagined possible, it was totally outside of the realm of how I used to function. I learned to allow them to talk about suicide, and to feel suicidal, and not punish them but to emotionally support them by simply listening and caring that they were in pain, and not try to take over or control them or their issues.
It's only been in the past year or so, more than three decades after his death, that I realize he had to have gone through and actively been going through some serious shit to end his life, and he made certain he did it on the first try, it wasn't a gesture. He wasn't selfish, he was hurting, far greater than how much he loved me or anyone else, and whatever he was going through, he needed to escape from it or get it to stop. It wasn't an impulse, he'd gathered the supplies a couple months before he even met me, and when he did it, from the outside, his life seemed absoutely perfect and with every reason to be happy. Reasonably, I now suspect some serious long term abuse, not mere depression, because he wasn't depressed. We hadn't had been together long enough to disclose our abuse histories to one another, and that wasn't huge part of the cultural discourse then as it is now; we were in full-on heavy infatuation mode, we hadn't yet touched on anything dark like the fact I was regularly beaten, so who knows what kind of shit he went through. And the woman who wrote that, who knows what kind of shit her brother went through. Maybe in another couple decades she'll start to question it, maybe not.
Now I myself am at the point where I need shit to stop or to escape, I can't take much more of it. And I'm sure there are people who will think I did it to them and am somehow selfish, whether it's for doing the act, where I do it, the timing, not considering them even though they don't consider me, etc. I've learned that people tend to make major events about themselves and to offset their pain and discomfort by blaming someone or something else. We have so many cultural illusions and narratives, such as suicide being selfish, as well as secret piled-up personal traumas, that it's a rare person who can be accepting of others and not define what others do based on an illusion, a narrative, or a myopic point of view.
Twenty to thirty years ago, I would have said "F you back, you selfish jerk. Don't you know what you're going to do to others??" I didn't have a clue, and I doubt she did either when the article was published. If I was capable of changing and becoming more compassionate, maybe she did, too. One can hope, anyway. I've posted on this forum before an apology for how I used to act, so even though she can't apologize to you, and I can't apologize to those I hurt, I'll gladly say to you, OP, "I was wrong and I'm sorry. Whatever my words or actions knocked over in you, I hope that you can set it right now. The fault was mine, not yours. I wish for your well-being and again, I'm genuinely sorry for hurting you with my attitude and words."