Venting When you're an ugly man, what can you do right?

[RodgerThat]

The double standards are bullshit. Oh, you're an attractive guy who's quiet and keeps to himself? Wow how mysterious and a cute shy guy!!
Oh, you're deformed and balding and keep to yourself? What a creepy disgusting loser. Can someone report him before he shoots up the workplace?!

You can't win as an ugly man because everything you do is undermined by immutable factors.

You're outgoing and friendly as an attractive tall guy? Wowww he's soo charismatic and cool, and so down to earth; he even offered to drive me home the other night!!
Wait, you're a short Indian ugly man who tries to talk to people and is kind? What a fucking creep right? He's always trying to talk to me like ewwwww go away!! He even tried to rape me the other day; he asked if I wanted to get in his car and "drive me home". I am a survivor!!

It's the same with mental conditions: you can get away with autism, depression, anxiety and more if you are just lucky.
An attractive guy who's depressed and hates going outside? Omg he's got so much on his plate I wish I could help him and talk to him. Oh he's got autism too? No I'm pretty sure he's just being quirky XD. He's a psychopath too? I can change him; he just hasn't felt the love of a woman!!

Compare that with how a small boned pale ugly guy being mentally ill. What a virgin loser, am I right? When are you going to shoot up the place? What an insecure piece of shit; no wonder he doesn't have any friends. He's so lazy and is probably tired playing World of Warcraft all day haha. Falling asleep because he hasn't gone to bed in three days because he's had to work 2 jobs? Let's film him and put him on Facebook guys hahaha!

I could go on for hours. It's disgusting.

It's always your fault as an ugly man. You'll be told that everything that comes to you is deserved because you didn't fix it yourself. But these double standards so prevalent in our society continue to be perpetuated by even the people who claim to be kind, because, to normal people, if you're undesirable, you're nothing. People who claim that "looks don't matter" but continue to see this crippling discrimination on a daily basis are living in a fantasy world.

 

[JadedGray]

Reminds me of this meme (click to enlarge):

 

[Dead beat dad]

Get a decent hair cut (if you are bald this is not the end of the world - there are huge numbers of 'attractive' bald men, Vin Diesel, Bruce Willis etc)
Workout and eat right, not like a gym freak, just balance that shit.
Invest in decent skin and hair care.
Clip and clean your nails.
Look after your teeth, talk to your dentist about how to make your smile more attractive.
Invest in some well fitting threads, learn your size and the colours and styles that will suit you.
Know some shit about current affairs and the news but don't be a wise guy.
Engage your intelligence, read and write a lot.
Develop your sense of humour.
Do some nice things for people less fortunate than you.
Practice your listening skills and don't try and fuck any girl that engages with you.
Care about the environment.
Do it for you, because you want to be be a better man for mankind, not because you want to snake your way in to the sack (it's over rated).
Good luck
DBD

 

[Youthanasia]

Guy from left wouldnt be a meme if he

-exercised
-ate less garbage and actually washed his face once a day
-went to a hair saloon to get that thing taken care of
-shaved his beard

Most hot people do this. Sure, some are lucky to have a naturally good skin or good hair, but they still have to do the rest

 

[Final Escape]

The double standards are bullshit. Oh, you're an attractive guy who's quiet and keeps to himself? Wow how mysterious and a cute shy guy!!
Oh, you're deformed and balding and keep to yourself? What a creepy disgusting loser. Can someone report him before he shoots up the workplace?!

You can't win as an ugly man because everything you do is undermined by immutable factors.

You're outgoing and friendly as an attractive tall guy? Wowww he's soo charismatic and cool, and so down to earth; he even offered to drive me home the other night!!
Wait, you're a short Indian ugly man who tries to talk to people and is kind? What a fucking creep right? He's always trying to talk to me like ewwwww go away!! He even tried to rape me the other day; he asked if I wanted to get in his car and "drive me home". I am a survivor!!

It's the same with mental conditions: you can get away with autism, depression, anxiety and more if you are just lucky.
An attractive guy who's depressed and hates going outside? Omg he's got so much on his plate I wish I could help him and talk to him. Oh he's got autism too? No I'm pretty sure he's just being quirky XD. He's a psychopath too? I can change him; he just hasn't felt the love of a woman!!

Compare that with how a small boned pale ugly guy being mentally ill. What a virgin loser, am I right? When are you going to shoot up the place? What an insecure piece of shit; no wonder he doesn't have any friends. He's so lazy and is probably tired playing World of Warcraft all day haha. Falling asleep because he hasn't gone to bed in three days because he's had to work 2 jobs? Let's film him and put him on Facebook guys hahaha!

I could go on for hours. It's disgusting.

It's always your fault as an ugly man. You'll be told that everything that comes to you is deserved because you didn't fix it yourself. But these double standards so prevalent in our society continue to be perpetuated by even the people who claim to be kind, because, to normal people, if you're undesirable, you're nothing. People who claim that "looks don't matter" but continue to see this crippling discrimination on a daily basis are living in a fantasy world.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

The double standards are bullshit. Oh, you're an attractive guy who's quiet and keeps to himself? Wow how mysterious and a cute shy guy!!
Oh, you're deformed and balding and keep to yourself? What a creepy disgusting loser. Can someone report him before he shoots up the workplace?!

You can't win as an ugly man because everything you do is undermined by immutable factors.

You're outgoing and friendly as an attractive tall guy? Wowww he's soo charismatic and cool, and so down to earth; he even offered to drive me home the other night!!
Wait, you're a short Indian ugly man who tries to talk to people and is kind? What a fucking creep right? He's always trying to talk to me like ewwwww go away!! He even tried to rape me the other day; he asked if I wanted to get in his car and "drive me home". I am a survivor!!

It's the same with mental conditions: you can get away with autism, depression, anxiety and more if you are just lucky.
An attractive guy who's depressed and hates going outside? Omg he's got so much on his plate I wish I could help him and talk to him. Oh he's got autism too? No I'm pretty sure he's just being quirky XD. He's a psychopath too? I can change him; he just hasn't felt the love of a woman!!

Compare that with how a small boned pale ugly guy being mentally ill. What a virgin loser, am I right? When are you going to shoot up the place? What an insecure piece of shit; no wonder he doesn't have any friends. He's so lazy and is probably tired playing World of Warcraft all day haha. Falling asleep because he hasn't gone to bed in three days because he's had to work 2 jobs? Let's film him and put him on Facebook guys hahaha!

I could go on for hours. It's disgusting.

It's always your fault as an ugly man. You'll be told that everything that comes to you is deserved because you didn't fix it yourself. But these double standards so prevalent in our society continue to be perpetuated by even the people who claim to be kind, because, to normal people, if you're undesirable, you're nothing. People who claim that "looks don't matter" but continue to see this crippling discrimination on a daily basis are living in a fantasy world.

A thousand LIKES !!! As an ugly man it sucks. Work is harder... more attractive people do far better.
Everyone just likes being around attractive people. I'm sure I'm guilty of it as well.
We like our actors and musicians to be pretty as well.

Reminds me of this meme (click to enlarge):

View attachment 10781

So true

"I dropped my pen and he picked it up, I'm gonna put it inside me tonight." Ok … MAYBE if it was Michael B. Jordan !!!

 

[WaterUnder]

It's the same with fat shaming or any other kind of groupthink mentality.
People do judge others by physical appearance, no question about it. And there's not a lot people can do to change what they look like short of plastic surgery.
BUT, there are things that can help significantly. Good posture and a confident attitude. Clothes that are clean and fit properly. Cleanliness from head to toe.
I guess the most difficult thing is not to let yourself become bitter toward yourself or toward others.
I know a couple of men who are short and bald and are well thought of because of their personalities.
So don't give up. Work on your skills. No, not everyone you meet will like you, but you will find someone. Expand your search area.

 

[LaBrava]

Even on a suicide forum where some people may be close to the end the 'just be confident bro' message abides. I wonder if you still get this in the afterlife?

 

[WaterUnder]

@RodgerThat
Um, did I come off as angry or hateful? I am truly sorry. That is not where I am coming from at all!!!

I dated a guy with a deformity and he was balding.

As for me, I was always average looking, bordering pretty. But as I got older (and heavier) I noticed that people stopped seeing me as a person. So I totally get how people judge by appearances and agree that we should judge one another by the kind of person they are.

So again, I apologize for coming off as rude or offensive. That was far from my intention.

P.S. I'm not a guy.

 

[RodgerThat]

@RodgerThat
Um, did I come off as angry or hateful? I am truly sorry. That is not where I am coming from at all!!!

I dated a guy with a deformity and he was balding.

As for me, I was always average looking, bordering pretty. But as I got older (and heavier) I noticed that people stopped seeing me as a person. So I totally get how people judge by appearances and agree that we should judge one another by the kind of person they are.

So again, I apologize for coming off as rude or offensive. That was far from my intention.

P.S. I'm not a guy.

It's ok don't worry. I got a little off track there it's nothing to do with you.

 

[WaterUnder]

Even on a suicide forum where some people may be close to the end the 'just be confident bro' message abides. I wonder if you still get this in the afterlife?

I wasn't being glib. I overcame my objectional appearance with humor and appearing confident. it works for me. Do you have anything positive to add or are you just one of those "some people" on a suicide forum who just shames others?

It's ok don't worry. I got a little off track there it's nothing to do with you.

Sometimes I think it's like a lottery where we lose most of the time, but that one connection makes all the negatives worth it.

Good luck, Rodger. You deserve a break right about now.

 

[RodgerThat]

I wasn't being glib. I overcame my objectional appearance with humor and appearing confident. it works for me. Do you have anything positive to add or are you just one of those "some people" on a suicide forum who just shames others?

It's a little different when you're a guy, but I agree that this isn't a place for conflict.

 

[Empty Smile]

I'm so damn ugly, even my mirror turns away from me.....

 

[LaBrava]

I wasn't being glib. I overcame my objectional appearance with humor and appearing confident. it works for me. Do you have anything positive to add or are you just one of those "some people" on a suicide forum who just shames others?

Everyone's different and what works for you may not work for someone else - particularly since you aren't a guy. I'm really not interested here of all places to have a debate about 'just be confident' advice. Like I said, I'm amazed that it appears even here. The dominant importance of looks is maybe even more taboo than suicide it seems.

 

[Rollo]

Everything you say about people being judgemental and prejudiced against ugly guys may be true but you don't have to be offended by it. If somebody is being disrespectful to me - I'm not offended and I don't really care why he/she is like this. Maybe it's cause they don't like my looks, maybe it's cause they don't like my behaviour, maybe some other stuff. But in the end I'm not really interested in distinguishing different brands of shit from each other. All that's important is shit needs to be washed off, which is what I'm going to do. If you're cool with me - get respect, if you're not cool - get lost. Problem starts when you expect everyone to be cool with you.

 

[WaterUnder]

It's a little different when you're a guy, but I agree that this isn't a place for conflict.

I can promise you that it's no picnic for females, either. We come under great scrutiny by all and are measured against similarly impossible standards. We were judged on a scale of numbers. Pretty dehumanizing.

 

[Youthanasia]

Last time I checked appearance matters much more for women than men

Sure society likes pretty people but as we speak I bet there's people uglier than all of us combined getting laid and having a happy life

Imo if you're unhappy with how you look give your body some love by going to a dentist/dermatologist and get some exercise?

I mean, i'll play the devil's lawyer here and say that it's just easier to get carried away by these depressive thoughts in a forum about suicide...

 

[RodgerThat]

Everything you say about people being judgemental and prejudiced against ugly guys may be true but you don't have to be offended by it. If somebody is being disrespectful to me - I'm not offended and I don't really care why he/she is like this. Maybe it's cause they don't like my looks, maybe it's cause they don't like my behaviour, maybe some other stuff. But in the end I'm not really interested in distinguishing different brands of shit from each other. All that's important is shit needs to be washed off, which is what I'm going to do. If you're cool with me - get respect, if you're not cool - get lost. Problem starts when you expect everyone to be cool with you.

I guess I'll just go around calling black people the N word on the street and wonder why they're offended...

 

[Rollo]

I guess I'll just go around calling black people the N word on the street and wonder why they're offended...

I'm not denying you the right to be offended - I'm just saying there's another way. If somebody insults me on the street, I will immediately insult him back. I don't tolerate disrespect. But at the same time I won't get upset. I won't assault him out of anger. I will only do so in self-defense if he gets upset in his turn and start getting aggressive with me.

 

[pole]

The double standards are bullshit. Oh, you're an attractive guy who's quiet and keeps to himself? Wow how mysterious and a cute shy guy!!
Oh, you're deformed and balding and keep to yourself? What a creepy disgusting loser. Can someone report him before he shoots up the workplace?!

You can't win as an ugly man because everything you do is undermined by immutable factors.

You're outgoing and friendly as an attractive tall guy? Wowww he's soo charismatic and cool, and so down to earth; he even offered to drive me home the other night!!
Wait, you're a short Indian ugly man who tries to talk to people and is kind? What a fucking creep right? He's always trying to talk to me like ewwwww go away!! He even tried to rape me the other day; he asked if I wanted to get in his car and "drive me home". I am a survivor!!

It's the same with mental conditions: you can get away with autism, depression, anxiety and more if you are just lucky.
An attractive guy who's depressed and hates going outside? Omg he's got so much on his plate I wish I could help him and talk to him. Oh he's got autism too? No I'm pretty sure he's just being quirky XD. He's a psychopath too? I can change him; he just hasn't felt the love of a woman!!

Compare that with how a small boned pale ugly guy being mentally ill. What a virgin loser, am I right? When are you going to shoot up the place? What an insecure piece of shit; no wonder he doesn't have any friends. He's so lazy and is probably tired playing World of Warcraft all day haha. Falling asleep because he hasn't gone to bed in three days because he's had to work 2 jobs? Let's film him and put him on Facebook guys hahaha!

I could go on for hours. It's disgusting.

It's always your fault as an ugly man. You'll be told that everything that comes to you is deserved because you didn't fix it yourself. But these double standards so prevalent in our society continue to be perpetuated by even the people who claim to be kind, because, to normal people, if you're undesirable, you're nothing. People who claim that "looks don't matter" but continue to see this crippling discrimination on a daily basis are living in a fantasy world.

Feel like many people who claim their "ugly" are just so hard on themselves and negative. You look different from the perspectives of others, maybe you dont look as ugly as you claim you do from another persons perspective.

And as waterunder said man, you can easily just better yourself and get yourself someone or look for someone by bettering yourself in so many ways including working out, eating better, etc. Your just looking so hard at these negatives and conditioning yourself to think there isnt a chance to look and feel better. But i mean there is. So many guys and girls have done it. Whether it be by massive weight loss, improving their socialization etc.

 

[ManWithNoName]

The double standards are bullshit. Oh, you're an attractive guy who's quiet and keeps to himself? Wow how mysterious and a cute shy guy!!
Oh, you're deformed and balding and keep to yourself? What a creepy disgusting loser. Can someone report him before he shoots up the workplace?!

Today's World is very hardcore, and extremely superficial. I'll bet if you had a few million bucks to your name, these same people who diss you would find reasons why you are so mysteriously attractive.

Whereas women are judged on their youth and beauty, and men are judged primarily by the amount of resources they have (e.g.:money and other tangible assets) -today's current state of affairs seem to be quite anti-male biased in many ways.

The double standards are indeed very real.

 

[RodgerThat]

Today's World is very hardcore, and extremely superficial. I'll bet if you had a few million bucks to your name, these same people who diss you would find reasons why you are so mysteriously attractive.

Whereas women are judged on their youth and beauty, and men are judged primarily by the amount of resources they have (e.g.:money and other tangible assets) -today's current state of affairs seem to be quite anti-male biased in many ways.

The double standards are indeed very real.

I agree. It's not really on topic but I find that men are often judged more on immutable factors like height and their face than women, who are judged moreso on things they can change, like weight.

Feel like many people who claim their "ugly" are just so hard on themselves and negative. You look different from the perspectives of others, maybe you dont look as ugly as you claim you do from another persons perspective.

And as waterunder said man, you can easily just better yourself and get yourself someone or look for someone by bettering yourself in so many ways including working out, eating better, etc. Your just looking so hard at these negatives and conditioning yourself to think there isnt a chance to look and feel better. But i mean there is. So many guys and girls have done it. Whether it be by massive weight loss, improving their socialization etc.

I mean, I'm noticeably and objectively deformed among other things, but I see your point. I'm not fat or rude; I eat healthily and I don't take things to heart. I don't go out to impress people and I dress like a normal person. The advice often given to objectively undesirable and upset men is, ironically, negative for their life, as they are told that everything is their fault, despite the advice-giver's best intentions. They are constantly told that they're not good enough because of their own actions, and that's what leads men down a dangerous negative cycle of self hatred, not the fact that they don't try hard in the first place.

Think of it kinda like this: if someone tells you to jump and reach a bar, that's easy enough. You're on a lower elevation and a quarter of the height of everyone else but people just tell you to train your leg muscles more. You keep trying and trying and trying, but you just can't reach the bar. People say that you're just lazy and obviously haven't been working out, while some can touch the bar without even jumping. No one understands that you just can't, no matter how hard you try.

It leads to you eventually giving up and, because of all this negative reinforcement you've felt throughout your entire life, you hate yourself for it. "What's the point of doing anything else in life when I can't even reach the bar? People just laugh at me for trying my best anyway."

I'm not denying you the right to be offended - I'm just saying there's another way. If somebody insults me on the street, I will immediately insult him back. I don't tolerate disrespect. But at the same time I won't get upset. I won't assault him out of anger. I will only do so in self-defense if he gets upset in his turn and start getting aggressive with me.

Imagine a 5'2 man with the voice of a girl having the same attitude as you. Systematic discrimination is no good in any way. Otherwise we might as well go back 100 years and forget all these regulations in place to protect those who are victims against hatred because of factors out of their control.

 

[Rollo]

Imagine a 5'2 man with the voice of a girl having the same attitude as you. Systematic discrimination is no good in any way. Otherwise we might as well go back 100 years and forget all these regulations in place to protect those who are victims against hatred because of factors out of their control.

But here we are - 100 years later with all these regulations and yet you're still faced with hate and discrimination. Government can't and won't even try to stop people from not liking you. Government can't even stop people from trying to kill you even though it''s doing it's best here.

Your height may be a physical disadvantage in a fight but in the end it's not what counts. You can be 6 feet tall and still get knocked out. Same thing with the tone of your voice, it don't matter. All that matters is whether there's some steel behind it. And steel comes from intent. From being ready to hurt and be hurt.