When you try to get help and people say: "Other people have it worse."

[Sadness20]

This is so unhelpful. Invalidating ones feeling doesn't help at all it just makes the person feel worthless because they can't handle something which is said to be so "easy" Life is different for everyone. Mental health shouldnt be taken as lightly as it is taken. People should show they care instead of trivializing your feelings.

 

[Labean]

Hi. But we are "a little" selfish beings, remember. Well, the method of shaming the person asking for help sometimes works.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I hate it when people do this. Like, no shit, there's always someone who has it worse. Doesn't mean my problems don't exist anymore.

 

[demuic]

By that logic, no one except the one person on earth who has the hardest life in the world should ever complain because someone else has it worse.

I never see anyone say "you can't be happy because someone else probably has it better."

It's total bullshit.

 

[Labean]

Согласно этой логике, никто, кроме одного человека на земле, у которого самая тяжелая жизнь в мире, никогда не должен жаловаться на то, что у кого-то еще хуже.

Я никогда не видел, чтобы кто-нибудь сказал: «Ты не можешь быть счастлив, потому что у кого-то, наверное, лучше».

Это полная чушь.

Привет. Уловка здесь немного другая. Кто-то может, например, поднять 200 кг, а стоящий рядом человек - нет. Как гласит пословица, «то, что хорошо для одного человека, для другого - смерть, и наоборот».

 

[Sprite_Geist]

The phrase is a slightly less impolite way of dismissing the suffering of a suicidal person. Nothing more.

Hi. But we are "a little" selfish beings, remember. Well, the method of shaming the person asking for help sometimes works.

Yes shaming may sometimes work, but it prevents suicide for the wrong reason. A suicidal individual should reverse their decision if, firstly, they wish to live, and secondly: because they feel welcome. They should not continue to live simply because of guilt.

 

[Labean]

Эта фраза - чуть менее невежливый способ избавиться от страданий суицидального человека. Больше ничего.


Да, стыд иногда может сработать, но он предотвращает самоубийство по неправильной причине. Суицидальный человек должен изменить свое решение, если, во-первых, он хочет жить, а во-вторых: потому что чувствует себя желанным. Они не должны продолжать жить просто из-за вины.

Я согласен с тем, что на человека можно просто наложить вину.

 

[FuneralCry]

Since when is suffering a competition. Yes, there is always someone who has it worse as this life holds unlimited potential for suffering. There is no limit as to how bad things can get. You are right that it invalidates the suffering that people are going through. This is the type of thing that is likely to be said by a non suicidal person who would never be able to comprehend what it is like. I think sayings like these are why many people choose to keep things to themselves rather than open up to others.

 

[Labean]

С каких это пор идет конкуренция. Да, всегда есть тот, кому хуже, потому что в этой жизни есть неограниченные возможности для страданий. Нет предела тому, как все может быть плохо. Вы правы в том, что это сводит на нет страдания, через которые проходят люди. Это тот тип вещей, который, скорее всего, скажет не суицидальный человек, который никогда не сможет понять, на что это похоже. Я думаю, что подобные высказывания являются причиной того, что многие люди предпочитают держать вещи при себе, а не открываться другим.

Да, страданиям нет предела. Как и счастью нет предела.

 

[44nutz1977]

I dunno about this one.

There are times in my life looking back I am so glad I never killed myself. My personal mental decline has been.. well. Exactly that. A descent into madness. A relatively slow decline. Yet now it seems as if I cannot slip any further.
Hit bottom.

I held on and hoped that my illness would not spiral downwards. I thought things cannot feel or get worse. Yet they did.

Yet also. I did have some wonderful life moments. I think it's a terrible shame anyone should kill themselves before at least 20yrs old... Though I also understand our situations are all so different.

One of my illnesses is alcoholism. That taught me to be grateful for small things. In essence that IS looking at your situation and realising how much worse it could be, how much worse other people may be. That their pain truly IS worse than yours. You could help them. Or you could feel more of your own pain. My alcoholism is a very selfish disease anyway. I can be very selfish a times though I try so vey hard not to be so inwards.

Try and fight those demons.
Especially you younger people. It's worth hanging around if you can. Taking your life is your decision. Of course it is.. but you must be so so certain that it is your only option. Fight the demons. If you can.

The world is cunning, baffling, powerful. Mother Earth is crazy beautiful yet astoundingly cruel. The whole Ying/Yang.

I believe suffering is essential for growth anyway. Problem with mw.. I have my shell.. my physical shell. The shell is shattered now.
I cannot fight back anymore. Too tired. Seen enough. Done enough. Tried my best. So I'm leaving within the next month.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Life is different for everyone.

Precisely. This saying is fundamentally flawed, since there is no scale with which one could measure and then compare personal perceptions of suffering. One man's pain is another man's pleasure. While there are certain experiences that are generally agreed upon to be painful, e.g. seeing the umpteenth thread about the afterlife on SS, the individual perceptions of the suffering differ greatly.

you must be so so certain that it is your only option.

I disagree. I consider suicide to be a preventive measure rather than a last resort. To quote something I once read on this website:

"Jack London once said that 'Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.' Well, any poker player can tell you that sometimes playing well requires you to fold."

While the poker player certainly has the option of trying to make the best out of the poor hand he has been dealt, or what he considers as such, folding may be preferable.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Indeed, it's just a way to invalidate and dismiss what you're going through, like no fam, everyone has it bad in life. It's no competition. It's just like when they say you're entitled because you're genuinely suffering. They just want you to shut up.

 

[Toonloon]

I try not to talk to anyone about my misery and sadness. I learned along time ago nobody cares about anyone else.
People suck.
But the one's who say "other people suffer more" and list them are total assholes. They are suffering in their own way yeah but also don't know what to say to people who are suffering emotionally.

People who are literally saying I'm going to kill myself because XYZ. They just react and say cliches.

People just suck.

 

[Susannah]

I used to hear that sentence from my mother when I was younger, all the time. And I hated it, "think about the starving children in Africa".

After my sister died, it all changed. Suddenly my mum was the most unfortune and miserable human in the world. Years later she was diagnosed with Parkinsons D, a horrible disease. According to her, we are the most unfortunate people in the world. Everything that happened was a punishment from God.

When I broke both elbows in an accident, everyone around me was happy that I had not hit my head, and that I had two healthy legs! It was absolutely insane. I just wish I had died.

Despite the fact that I hated the phrase "there are always some who feel worse", it has actually become a kind of consolation for me in adulthood. But I had to find this forum to realize that it is actually true, there are always some who feel worse (assuming it can be measured). But using the term as a consolation to others is pointless and rude.

 

[callme]

Tough spot, man.. can't delete Africa off a map. Probably sounds like an average honest hotline reply, doesn't it?

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Я согласен с тем, что на человека можно просто наложить вину.

You are speaking Russian I think? I do not understand.

 

[callme]

You are speaking Russian I think? I do not understand.

"I agree that one can just put a blame on a man".