Fehler

Fehler

...
Oct 12, 2020
455
I am aware that I am stupid but not on so many levels, look that I am careful with these things but leaving the forum open when I have the family visiting the apartment....
I was reading some offtopic in the morning and started to order a bit before they came. I completely forgot that I had the forum tab open.

Once in the living room I was preparing my coffee and by the time I wanted to show them some things on the pc, my brother-in-law had been looking at the screen for a few seconds, by then I realized that the forum was open. As I said, the post was an offtopic but what worries me is the "sanctioned suicide" that is clearly seen above.
I pretended nothing and closed the browser to show him some things but I'm not sure to what extent they have seen something. I mean, I've been hiding by lying and acting for almost a decade so that now, that I was more convinced than ever of doing it, they end up catching me.

Nobody said anything, as if they hadn't seen it. Maybe he only had time to read a few lines but the title of the page is the first thing you see at a glance. I'm already eating my head thinking that he would make an account. If he had made a comment, it would have been easier for me because, although I'm not proud of it, and It could sound prepotent, I'm good at lying, especially if it's so they don't catch me.

Tomorrow was going to be my "last day of pleasure" because on Sunday I thought to start eating little and on Monday to start fasting for ctb Tuesday morning.
I thought I would get the antiemetic on the 24th, but in the end nothing. I don't know if ctb with SN without antiemetic or wait until the first week of January to see if I can get it...fuck myself...

Yesterday's Christmas dinner left me mentally wrecked, I went to sleep late and wake up several times. Maybe if I had slept well I would have been more lucid and this wouldn't have happened.
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,870
Mhh, if I were him I would probably check out the site myself just out of curiosity :ahhha: Imagine he actually does it and sees this thread hahaha. I've been caught before while being on SS but no one really cared, so I guess I'm lucky. I hope everything works out with your plans! Hugs :hug::hug::heart:

I almost forgot! *clap* *clap* :ahhha:
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
Oops! We gotta be really careful!
In my case, my dad saw the forum too and panicked when he read the words "SANCTIONED SUICIDE" on the upper left.

How can I still be here? Well, I told him that suicide is only one of the many topics we discuss about. I commented him that we talk and provide advice about depression, love relationships, etc and that this community is making me feel really good!

It seems he fell for it because he still sees me here from time to time and says nothing.

Also, one advantage I have is that he doesn't know any english! Still, sanctioned suicide is written very similar to suicidio sancionado (spanish) that's why he was suspicious about SS.
 
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Fehler

Fehler

...
Oct 12, 2020
455
Mhh, if I were him I would probably check out the site myself just out of curiosity :ahhha: Imagine he actually does it and sees this thread hahaha.
Now you've scared me more e.e . All this happened a few hours ago, maybe between when he came in and they accepted him...I don't know if changing the name could be of any use, total, I can no longer delete the post so I hope it gets lost in the crowd.

I'm freaking out every time I get a watzapp -_-
 
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