Venting When will everything end ?

[AntisocialGG]

I just don't seem to get better, doesn't seem like life is going easy on me either. I get that i'm no body special to be treated better or easier, but i just don't think that it's fair to exist while the main thing that i feel is detachment and suffer. My diagnosis doesn't justify my actions and i get it, it just makes everything (socially) harder for me, it's like i won't ever feel "the warm" of another human being because i just don't get what that is. Existing in such a way is so hard and i just want to end it. Honestly i think i will buy SN soon and just end it all, a selfish last action. Selfish just like the way that i'm perceived by others like people in my family, and i won't even try to say anything against it because it's true. Do other people feel this way or is it just me being a crying baby ? would other people in my situation take their life or would they continue ? honestly, it doesn't matter, i just know that i don't want to continue like this