Discussion When were you happiest?

[guineapiglover8503]

for me it was late middle school before suicide was considered as much:p

 

[human909]

the first 5-10 years of my life was basically the happiest but ever since i turned 13 it went downhill, from there.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Not sure exactly but feels like I only somehow managed to start living or feeling late twenties. Nothing before 26 was happy really.

 

[Peace2peace]

All before my sickness 18-23

 

[Namelesa]

I am going to say 1-4 as that was the only option I was consistently happy cus no mental illness and no school but there have little bits I was more happier in.

age 16 I was more happy cus I had no more school (was in college but that was more managable) and was able to more social transition and get hrt. Also went into my first relationship but that ended very early into being 17.

age 18 I got into my second relationship but that ended a year later cus of being too intense and unstable cus of my and my partner's mental problems.

 

[TheHolySword]

5-10. I miss my childhood, I've been thinking about it recently. I haven't really been happy since I was 12-13 years old. Time flies when you're plunging into an inescapable depression.

 

[Smallguy4you]

2021-2022.
what was before and after shitty times filled and anxiety and uncertaintly

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I know no one would understand this but before I realized this world existed and basically not alive. I'd say around then especially having to be aware that life was a wasteland and I'd be judged my entire life, and I am not just talking either about the race I was born into and knowing racism exists. I would care less. I'm talking about cruel individuals who have always existed and life always not being worth living in. I do love the human experience though but this world isn't it. The humans here are a menace and this world is actually the undergrounds of hell if there ever was one. It's no place like home but a rotted piece of wood just waiting to burn from existence.

 

[EternalLight]

21-25 for me, almost exactly. Probably my first few years weren't so bad, but my childhood itself was hell. 21-25, though, my whole world changed so fast. It was truly like paradise for a little while. Then it all fell apart.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Probably 15 to 18 surprisingly. My childhood was absolutely abysmal due to my autism and how that makes me so intense back then. The start of my adolescent years were also awful due to me getting bullied in school and caring about that. However, when lockdown happened, which best fits within the 15 to 18 age bracket for me, I was the happiest I ever was because I didn't have to deal with human related bullshit such as school or getting bullied. I could just be lazy all day which fits me best because I feel like I was meant for inertia instead of being active. I didn't really care about the lack of opportunities to socialise since I never valued socialising in the first place and I'd rather be alone. Lockdown has been so good for me

 

[soonnotkoei]

life was good until 14, then things went south.

 

[everydaythesame]

1-4 as i cant remember anything from back then.

 

[cali22♡]

Dude 5-10 were the best times of my life

 

[SoulWhisperer]

Easily anything below 13. It's from 13 onwards that thing went to shit. When I was very young I was happy... I was happy...
Jeez, thinking I used to be a happy innocent playful toddler and seeing myself now makes me wanna cry...

 

[divinemistress36]

In the womb. It seems puberty set off a lot of our depression

 

[theshund]

30 to 45. I met the girl of my dreams, had so much fun, lived by the sea, had a great job, our daughter was born, adventures happiness and contentment. Then developed mental illness at 46. 50 now and lost everything. Estranged from my family and alone in the city, jobless and homeless.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never, I'd never wish to exist, I just want to permanently cease existing instead, nothing would make me wish to be burdened with this cruel, futile existence, I'll always see it as deeply undesirable to exist no matter what, to me existence itself is the problem and I suffer just from being conscious in this existence. I could never see any value and benefit to having to exist rather I see existence as a mistake that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for at all, I'll only be at peace once I no longer exist, for me non-existence truly is the only relief, I've never had any interest in suffering in this existence, I'll always find it a burden to exist.

To me existence itself really is the true problem and it's a problem that only ceasing to exist can solve for me, I just wish to permanently cease existing where all is gone and forgotten about, I only wish for the relief of an eternal, dreamless sleep where I'm permanently incapable of suffering. I'd always prefer to not exist than be enslaved in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts destined to decay and be tortured by old age but more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, existence just feels like a mistake to me and I see it as such a terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all.

 

[CogitoMori]

It was only 2 years of happiness between 21-25. There was another .5 around 26 but that was fleeting

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

never. when i was younger i was more brainwashed and believed ridiculous false beliefs . i was living a lie. still am. so never happy . how can one be happy living a lie as a prisoner slave in hell but not knowing it? still have most of my brain , many neural networks and cortical columns in my brain that are not in reality = addictions .

 

[StarCaller'sStaff]

My memory is very blurry. I struggle to remember moments that are older than a year as my memories, I simply remember them as situations that happened to the idea of me, but not to the actual me.
Because of that, the happiest moment I can recall, where I truly felt my happiness as mine, was between September and October of 2024, when I was with my girlfriend. We both had stacks of issues, but we found solace in each other, and managed to make each other happy during those months. She took her own life on Halloween night, I miss her immensly.

 

[yousaidimsweet]

for me, the happiest time of my life was earlier last year around valentine's. i was talking to some guy, but on valentine's day i fell in love with another person (let's call him chris), made only more clear because the original guy didn't text me that day or give me anything like roses or chocolates, etc. i was just sitting in class, saw chris and suddenly it clicked. i was in love with him. the next few months were amazing and painful all at once as i rode an emotional rollercoaster of being in love with him and trying to get closer to him, and at the same time fighting the distance he was trying to put between us. meeting chris and developing a friendship with him (yeah, spoilers it didn't work out haha so we decided to be friends) was the most beautiful moment of my life as i really started to warm up to the idea of love and the 'good life'--marriage, kids, a house, the whole white picket fence future.

i remember this one time, we went to a conference together and i was in his car because i asked him to give me a ride to an appointment i had right after. the sun was setting, and we were joking and i told him he was so intimidating when i met him. he rolled his eyes, and i sighed and told him that i actually thought he was sweet when i met him. i asked him what he thought of me first, and he turned to me and told me "i thought you were sweet, too" with the sunset in his eyes and he smiled.

i know this sounds like a damn fan fiction, but this moment is engrained in my mind. it was just such a meaningful relationship, and even though we are still friends now, there isn't a day that i don't think about him.

the rest of my life doesn't really compare to the high i felt while being around him for almost a full year.

 

[guineapiglover8503]

never. when i was younger i was more brainwashed and believed ridiculous false beliefs . i was living a lie. still am. so never happy . how can one be happy living a lie as a prisoner slave in hell but not knowing it? still have most of my brain , many neural networks and cortical columns in my brain that are not in reality = addictions .

im so sorry

 

[brokeandbroken]

Never. My life was a constant putting aside of current happiness for future happiness. The problem is that future was stolen. So I have no have happiness. Past, present, and my 1 day at a time decreasing future.

 

[kunikuzushi]

Never. I was miserable since my earliest memory. Although I know I felt peace for the first time in my life when I was 18 starting college. It didn't even last a few months before I slipped back into my normal suicidal state, so I can't even think of it as happiness. Many years later and still no peace/happiness.

 

[daysnumbered]

My mental health went to shit in my early 20s.

 

[Tuonetar_]

I'm always hesitant to talk about this, because it was such a difficult time for so many people, but the first ~8 months of COVID lockdowns were the best months of my life.

I lost my job, but the stimulus checks were enough to cover all my bills. Almost all of my family was living far away so I got to quarantine by myself, and I had essentially endless free time... I practiced writing creatively for what felt like the first time in forever, I started a sketchbook, I fermented my own yogurt/sourdough/sauerkraut/hot sauce/etc, I started taking early morning walks around my neighborhood (and met several new people along the way), I watched all the TV series on my checklist, and I read so. many. books. I was averaging almost 12 books/month at one point, whereas before I was lucky to get through maybe 2/month. I had no financial stress, I wasn't coming home exhausted every single night, I got to spend plenty of time alone, and I had complete control over my time each day. For a brief moment I just got to exist, no strings attached, and I was so happy... it was easily the most fulfilled I've ever felt in my life.

 

[BriocheAlien]

I selected 1-4 only because my dad was sick ever since I could remember and passed away when I was 9 and that is when I had to start living only with my abusive mother.

 

[johnthefishermann]

Anything before 10 really. After that I started getting bullied at school, my mental health worsened greatly and everything went to shit. 16 was also a good time in my life, because my depression wasn't terrible and my father was present in my life for a longer period of time. Then he disappeared, my depression worsened and I haven't been happy since.

 

[guineapiglover8503]

Anything before 10 really. After that I started getting bullied at school, my mental health worsened greatly and everything went to shit. 16 was also a good time in my life, because my depression wasn't terrible and my father was present in my life for a longer period of time. Then he disappeared, my depression worsened and I haven't been happy since.

i'm sorry

 

[Crimson Red]

When I was admitted to a psych ward for 3 months and people actually gave a fuck.