When we die, do we finally stop being a burden?

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I want to stop burning people with my problems. I feel like starting with messaging people less, and when they ask how I am I will just say I am "happy". And that nothing is wrong. Because with my BPD, I always lash out at them. I always fuck up and hurt their feelings and make them mad. I am a piece of crap and, I feel when I am finally gone so many people wont have ot deal with an abusive jerk that is me.

 

[SpottedPanda]

There are other ways to change your behaviour, I'd guess. You don't have to die just to ease someone else of stress. You could, in extreme circumstances, just exclude them.

Then there's the potential of becoming an emotional burden, such as causing grief.

I used to live with someone with BPD. She was a nightmare, but at the time I was willing to put the effort in. I felt she was worth it.

 

[Darksektori]

This is a difficult question because it depends on the circumstances involved. I read a quote that tries to be poetic and in my interpretation it seems, pro-life to me, but tries playing the guilt trip card.

"When people kill themselves, they think they're ending the pain, but all they're doing is passing it on to those they leave behind."
-Jeannette Walls

Thoughts anyone

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

There are other ways to change your behaviour, I'd guess. You don't have to die just to ease someone else of stress. You could, in extreme circumstances, just exclude them.

Then there's the potential of becoming an emotional burden, such as causing grief.

I used to live with someone with BPD. She was a nightmare, but at the time I was willing to put the effort in. I felt she was worth it.

Yeah BPD is a nightmare. Its why I want to keep away because I know how I can be. Its also why I shouldn't have go back to staying on Campus. I was a nightmare for my roommates too.

 

[SpottedPanda]

Yeah BPD is a nightmare. Its why I want to keep away because I know how I can be

Have you had the chance to visit any support groups, with others with your condition. I'm schizophrenic, and have met lots of schizophrenics, and one thing people seem to appreciate is hearing voices groups.

 

[Darksektori]

Have you had the chance to visit any support groups, with others with your condition. I'm schizophrenic, and have met lots of schizophrenics, and one thing people seem to appreciate is hearing voices groups.

It also depends on what the voices tell you to do.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

This is a difficult question because it depends on the circumstances involved. I read a quote that tries to be poetic and in my interpretation it seems, pro-life to me, but tries playing the guilt trip card.

"When people kill themselves, they think they're ending the pain, but all they're doing is passing it on to those they leave behind."
-Jeannette Walls

Thoughts anyone

Hit and miss. In my case I have BPD and....to be quite frank I can be a major bitch. So.....I dont think it'd pass off any pain

 

[Kumachan]

Yeah BPD is a nightmare. Its why I want to keep away because I know how I can be

if you dont mind me asking, could you describe why it is a nightmare(for you and others) what would be my experience if lived with person with bpd?

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Have you had the chance to visit any support groups, with others with your condition. I'm schizophrenic, and have met lots of schizophrenics, and one thing people seem to appreciate is hearing voices groups.

I haven't. But, im just too scared. I just feel its kinda heroic if I leave everyone so they wont deal with me

 

[SpottedPanda]

It also depends on what the voices tell you to do.

My voices don't tell me to do anything. They discuss me in the third person.

I haven't. But, im just too scared. I just feel its kinda heroic if I leave everyone so they wont deal with me

Honestly I feel most people wouldn't want that.

 

[Darksektori]

I haven't. But, im just too scared. I just feel its kinda heroic if I leave everyone so they wont deal with me

Understandable, its like a state of Limbo to certain degree, it can be very foggy and confusing.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

if you dont mind me asking, could you describe why it is a nightmare(for you and others) what would be my experience if lived with person with bpd?

I dont want to lump everyone with BPD into one category. Like many mental illnesses, it has a bad stigma. BPD people are portrayed as "abusers" and "bad people". I'll list things I have done

1) Lashed out at people randomly by slamming doors, yelling, cursing
2) Would make death threats (if you dont do this ill cut myself/hurt myself)
3) Would intentionally block/ignore people in the hopes they would want me more
4) Shut myself out of everyones lives for periods at a time
5) Blow up when people tell me things that I did that were wrong

Again, this doesn't describe everyone with BPD. Some people are in better control of their symptoms. I am not however

My voices don't tell me to do anything. They discuss me in the third person.


Honestly I feel most people wouldn't want that.

Maybe. I always feel like initially people will feel bad, but maybe after a few weeks or months they'll say "hey, that person isn't here lashing out at me anymore or telling me all her problems. What I relief!"

Understandable, its like a state of Limbo to certain degree, it can be very foggy and confusing.

It is. I feel so trapped. I am so alone. I want to connect to people, but if I do I will always hurt them.

 

[Kumachan]

@DeathIsTheWayOut99 thanks, i guess ive never really experienced that irl can you say its a sort of "neediness" like you are desperate to have this person in your life? The reason im asking is that i suspect my ex was a tiny tiny bit like that...

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

@DeathIsTheWayOut99 thanks, i guess ive never really experienced that irl can you say its a sort of "neediness" like you are desperate to have this person in your life? The reason im asking is that i suspect my ex was a tiny tiny bit like that...

Yeah I am definetly needy. BPD is actually very common and many people are misdiagnosed with depression or other mood sidsorders when they actually have BPD or a combination of disorders. I don't know your ex so I cant speak for him/her.

 

[Darksektori]

I dont want to lump everyone with BPD into one category. Like many mental illnesses, it has a bad stigma. BPD people are portrayed as "abusers" and "bad people". I'll list things I have done

1) Lashed out at people randomly by slamming doors, yelling, cursing
2) Would make death threats (if you dont do this ill cut myself/hurt myself)
3) Would intentionally block/ignore people in the hopes they would want me more
4) Shut myself out of everyones lives for periods at a time
5) Blow up when people tell me things that I did that were wrong

Again, this doesn't describe everyone with BPD. Some people are in better control of their symptoms. I am not however

Maybe. I always feel like initially people will feel bad, but maybe after a few weeks or months they'll say "hey, that person isn't here lashing out at me anymore or telling me all her problems. What I relief!"

It is. I feel so trapped. I am so alone. I want to connect to people, but if I do I will always hurt them.

Yeah that's BPD all right, probably one of the most well known/misunderstood Illnesses in terms of mental health

 

[Kumachan]

Yeah I am definetly needy. BPD is actually very common and many people are misdiagnosed with depression or other mood sidsorders when they actually have BPD or a combination of disorders. I don't know your ex so I cant speak for him/her.

I see... Its just she used to be clingy at times but maybe its my fault - made extremely jealous and needy... She is super caring and sweet chinese woman and i miss her too much, but i tried my best to push her away, she was the best thing that happened to me and thats why im here

 

[RileyTanaka]

Even if you're someone that people in your life find to be difficult, they're probably still going to experience complex feelings about your death. At least if they're someone who knew you on a closer level. And for those who you know (not feel) care about you, then part of their feelings towards you will be grief.

Speaking only for myself, I definitely believe my exit will relieve my family of the burden of having to worry or think about me. A big part of them will feel relieved even if they also feel guilty.

So most of me is doing it to end the suffering I experience daily, but it's kind of a plus for my family that I won't be a living burden on them anymore. As much as people on here tell me I shouldn't do it for them, a part of me is.