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DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Experienced
Feb 9, 2025
219
It has been looooong time since I felt really happy.
 
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kinoki

kinoki

Member
Feb 20, 2025
16
When I made a friend of mine named Vincent, we were very good friends but he ultimately betrayed me and used me.
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,906
When I was womb
 
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lawr

lawr

i love music more than i love myself
Feb 21, 2025
23
As far as true, sustained happiness goes... probably never. But I appreciate those fleeting happy moments that come now and again. I love my friends like brothers (though they don't know this), and I am as close to happiness as I can get when I'm spending time with them.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
10,943
Like others have said- fleeting moments. Oddly, they've been when I've been around other people so, it makes less sense I choose to isolate myself. Probably because my worst moments have also been around others too!

But- that really giddy, genuinely grateful feeling of love and happiness? I know I've experienced it once at least, having a meal out with my God parents. Maybe 15 years ago now! But in that moment, I felt content, calm, loved and loving. It was pretty incredible. I wondered if this was how other people felt a lot of the time- in which case, wanting to live would make a whole lot more sense.

I wondered if it was a turning point for me. I wondered how long it would last (not long at all if I remember rightly.) I wondered how bad it would feel to fall back down. As it happens, it was fleeting enough for me to return to (my pessimistic) normal self pretty quickly.
 
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cme-dme

cme-dme

Ready to go to bed
Feb 1, 2025
334
Kind of like what @lawr said, there are brief moments of happiness which usually come from spending time with friends or going somewhere I enjoy but I probably haven't had long, sustained happiness since I was a child.
 
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theolivanderroach

theolivanderroach

but, what ends when the symbols shatter?
Sep 20, 2024
187
Before I was disillusioned with life, so since I was a child up to around age 12
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
40,841
I've never wished to exist and never would do no matter what, I always find it so torturous and dreadful to suffer in this existence, I personally don't believe in the idea of happiness in existing because for me existence is a burden that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to be tortured by old age and in general I just find it deeply undesirable to exist. I personally just want peace and for me peace could only lie in non-existence, only non-existence is positive for me as after all only then will I be unable to suffer with all finally gone and forgotten about, I just want to never exist ever again, to me existence really does just feel like a mistake and the fact that this existence was imposed is such a tragedy to me, I was just never meant for the dreadful cruelty and suffering of human existence and I suffer just from being conscious, I just want nothingness, the thought of suffering until old age is so horrific to me.
 
T

ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,434
If we mean even for fleeting moments, I have those somewhat frequently, maybe a couple to a few times per week.

If we mean a perpetual state of happiness and/or state of content, I have not felt that in a very long time. I can't recall when I last felt that way but I am certain it was prior to 2018. My life was irreparably damaged in that year.
 
roommate

roommate

Not in the moment
Feb 14, 2025
306
I've had some burst of happiness, but honestly it fades away so quickly
 
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DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Experienced
Feb 9, 2025
219
August, 2023. Before my depression, before my anxieties. Everything was perfect. Then all fell apart due to depression. I now hate my life.
I am sorry you had to lose everything. I feel like my situation is getting worse every year.
 
DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Experienced
Feb 9, 2025
219
Yes, I had a great job, I really loved it, a nice family, a nice salary, everything. Then out of nowhere, I started having anxiety, depression, panic attacks so I was fired from my dream career. Been hospitalized for 6 months, tried all the antidepressants out there, even did 8 ECT treatments but nothing helped me. I am tired and just wanna rest. What's your story?
My story? There is nothing much to tell. I always felt like an outcast. So, I have no personal achievements. No job, no career, no family. Also struggling with demons and mental health problems.
 
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R

restlesseyes

Type of tired no amount of sleep can fix
Feb 19, 2025
24
I think the last time I was happy is when I was in high school before I lost a long term girlfriend life was perfect and stress free plus I felt like I was a way better person back then , now I' feel like I'm incapable of loving or feeling
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,039
I don't remember. Too many years ago.
 

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