Venting When loving a fictional character physically hurts

[borderline-feline]

I wanna start off by saying that I'm making this new thread for 2 reasons.
1. This issue is rearing its ugly head again for me, and I'm teetering into meltdown mode.
2. The previous thread that I made on this topic got completely derailed by a pro-lifer.

I also want to make it clear from the start that I'm not crying over a character dying; I'm crying over a character being ruined. Please don't try to guess who he is or where he's from; it's a can of worms that I don't wanna open. It's also probably worth noting that I have borderline personality disorder, and I think that this is an extension of my disorder.

There's a particular fictional character that I really like, but I have to be vague for safety reasons. If you know, then you know. I know I sound fucking unhinged when I talk about this topic, but when this character appeared in the most recent installment, he was completely ruined. His arc was bastardized, and he changed in a way that goes against everything that he stood for as a character. I feel insane because of this.

I know that he's not real, but I interact with and relate to fiction in a way that I don't think is particularly normal, so this change makes me fucking furious on top of wanting to die because of it. If he can completely go back on everything he stands for, then what's stopping that from happening to me? I can't talk about this issue because I know that people just tell me to get over it, but I can't.

There's nothing that I can do to fix this problem. I can't fix his character; I can't convince the writer to change his mind and fix him. I'm always gonna be upset about this, and I don't want to lose my anger or sadness over this change, because as insane as I sound right now, it would feel like I'm betraying him. I'd be a terrible person if I did that, but I'm not able to even participate in any conversations about him because I'll get mobbed by people who like the change, poorly-written as it may be.

How the fuck can I do something about this pain and fix him without betraying him?

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I'm not a pro-lifer, but I think you should find a way to deal with stuff like this without directly jumping to wanting to die because of it.

 

[borderline-feline]

I'm not a pro-lifer, but I think you should find a way to deal with stuff like this without directly jumping to wanting to die because of it.

I've tried, but there's nothing that I can do. If I can't fix him, then there's no way to deal with it.

For the record, this isn't my only reason for wanting to die; I've wanted to die for years, and this is just one of many reasons why death is my only option.

 

[gardenofaphrodite]

I can't relate to this & I probably don't have a great solution, but you could try reading fanfiction of this character? Or writing fanfiction. Could even make an OC based off the personality you originally were drawn to of the character. AO3 (Archive of Our Own) is a great site for fanfic, way better than Wattpad or any other site tbh. You could find people who may relate to your feelings on that character/whatever media they come from. I've known people who've had strong feelings towards characters or their OCs, & ik there are peeps like that on AO3 & some parts of Tumblr still.

 

[Rocket]

Have you considered writing a letter to the creative team? Often the writers, producers and directors (depending on the media) want to receive feedback. Your insight into this character is clearly deep and knowledgeable and they will recognize that. People often talk about the release they get from writing things down. While it may not change the result, you will be more likely to be heard by sending it, and maybe in a small way it will be cathartic. Even if you don't hear back, at least you can make some peace with knowing you did what you could to get the character back on track. It's the closest to appealing to the character directly I imagine. I'm sad for your pain and it's just a thought.

 

[borderline-feline]

I can't relate to this & I probably don't have a great solution, but you could try reading fanfiction of this character? Or writing fanfiction. Could even make an OC based off the personality you originally were drawn to of the character. AO3 (Archive of Our Own) is a great site for fanfic, way better than Wattpad or any other site tbh. You could find people who may relate to your feelings on that character/whatever media they come from. I've known people who've had strong feelings towards characters or their OCs, & ik there are peeps like that on AO3 & some parts of Tumblr still.

Any fanfiction is gonna be either old and poorly written or involving the shitty change. I'm not capable of writing anything, so that's not an option either.

Have you considered writing a letter to the creative team? Often the writers, producers and directors (depending on the media) want to receive feedback. Your insight into this character is clearly deep and knowledgeable and they will recognize that. People often talk about the release they get from writing things down. While it may not change the result, you will be more likely to be heard by sending it, and maybe in a small way it will be cathartic. Even if you don't hear back, at least you can make some peace with knowing you did what you could to get the character back on track. It's the closest to appealing to the character directly I imagine. I'm sad for your pain and it's just a thought.

That wouldn't do a single thing. He's from a foreign piece of media, and one single piece of hatemail isn't going to fix him.

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry sry undrstnd fictn trama, have longago befr see char sffr, write cruel v unfair etc this all awful, v know how ,befr write draw etc now injury damage nit ability. Lif v cruel even fictn make cruel posbl this rly hurt make see how life awful cncpt

 

[SoftWorries]

Maybe you should try playing around on ChatGPT and create some of your own characters. You could make AI art for them too. If they're you're own characters you don't need to worry about them being bastardized.

I've been really enjoying creating characters on there and getting to read stories made just for me that I delete after.

It's really disappointing when characters we love are bastardized. Sorry that's happening to you.

 

[Rocket]

Not hate mail, but using your understanding and knowledge of the character to help explain why there's a problem. My thought is not just for the creators, but for your own heart. Maybe gently explaining in writing what you're thinking and feeling would help move forward. Sending it to the creator puts it out in the universe. I'm sure you'll find the right solution, just an idea since you're asking the community for ideas and support. Sending support and a big hug.

 

[borderline-feline]

Maybe you should try playing around on ChatGPT and create some of your own characters. You could make AI art for them too. If they're you're own characters you don't need to worry about them being bastardized.

I've been really enjoying creating characters on there and getting to read stories made just for me that I delete after.

It's really disappointing when characters we love are bastardized. Sorry that's happening to you.

I'm not capable of creating characters; I'm completely devoid of creativity. I also dislike using AI programs and don't know how to use them properly anyway, so that wouldn't work.

 

[Toy]

As someone who also has these types of feelings about fictional characters, I could understand feeling distressed with the change, especially if this character is someone who you love and find comfort in. If this character's arc was ruined by the writers, which has also happened to characters I personally find comfort in myself, it is okay to think of them for who they were and what they stood for before this change took place, especially if this change completely goes against this character's entire morals. It is okay to have an opinion on what went wrong, hopefully the team that this character is from is accepting constructive feedback.

A way I tend to cope with things surrounding a change in a character I find comfort in that got ruined by writers is going along with and thinking about what I would have liked to see in that character's development that actually fits what this character had before the change took place or mainly sticking to media that has to do with this character before the change occurred. It isn't betraying the character if the writers completely demolished what that character had going for them before. I also tend to stick around character AI websites for my comfort, you are able to create your own AI on some sites and set them up exactly how you want them to be like or there are some AIs already available based on some character's pasts.

 

[borderline-feline]

Not hate mail, but using your understanding and knowledge of the character to help explain why there's a problem. My thought is not just for the creators, but for your own heart. Maybe gently explaining in writing what you're thinking and feeling would help move forward. Sending it to the creator puts it out in the universe. I'm sure you'll find the right solution, just an idea since you're asking the community for ideas and support. Sending support and a big hug.

The creator would never read it, and I would only be capable of writing hate mail. I can't express my feelings about him without getting angry at what's become of him. The right solution is either to wait for the next installment and see if he's been fixed (he'll probably just never make an appearance again) or to kill myself.

 

[drmihilo]

I felt the same for Azula from Avatar :) I felt really sorry for her. I could not find a place for myself, although I understood that this was a completely fictional story, which, nevertheless, sunk into my soul. It's terrible when you love something, because you know that it will inevitably have to be lost.

 

[borderline-feline]

As someone who also has these types of feelings about fictional characters, I could understand feeling distressed with the change, especially if this character is someone who you love and find comfort in. If this character's arc was ruined by the writers, which has also happened to characters I personally find comfort in myself, it is okay to think of them for who they were and what they stood for before this change took place, especially if this change completely goes against this character's entire morals. It is okay to have an opinion on what went wrong, hopefully the team that this character is from is accepting constructive feedback.

A way I tend to cope with things surrounding a change in a character I find comfort in that got ruined by writers is going along with and thinking about what I would have liked to see in that character's development that actually fits what this character had before the change took place or mainly sticking to media that has to do with this character before the change occurred. It isn't betraying the character if the writers completely demolished what that character had going for them before. I also tend to stick around character AI websites for my comfort, you are able to create your own AI on some sites and set them up exactly how you want them to be like or there are some AIs already available based on some character's pasts.

I try to think of him as he was before he was ruined, but I can't help but end up thinking about how infuriated I am by the change and how much I wanna punch his creator in the face for ruining him.

I could never come up with anything that would fix him. I don't have any creativity, so it's impossible for me to do something like that. I generally dislike AI programs like that, and it wouldn't help with my problem anyway.

 

[SoftWorries]

I felt the same for Azula from Avatar :) I felt really sorry for her. I could not find a place for myself, although I understood that this was a completely fictional story, which, nevertheless, sunk into my soul. It's terrible when you love something, because you know that it will inevitably have to be lost.

I also really love Azula. My favorite choleric character.

The first avatar comic is a direct continuation of the story if you haven't read it. Her character is heavily explored.

 

[drmihilo]

I also really love Azula. My favorite choleric character.

The first avatar comic is a direct continuation of the story if you haven't read it. Her character is heavily explored.

Yes, I read comics. But it still remains a rather sad story.

 

[SoftWorries]

Yes, I read comics. But it still remains a rather sad story.

Oh for sure. Just a little less sad than crazy in jail.

 

[Holu]

I wanna start off by saying that I'm making this new thread for 2 reasons.
1. This issue is rearing its ugly head again for me, and I'm teetering into meltdown mode.
2. The previous thread that I made on this topic got completely derailed by a pro-lifer.

I also want to make it clear from the start that I'm not crying over a character dying; I'm crying over a character being ruined. Please don't try to guess who he is or where he's from; it's a can of worms that I don't wanna open. It's also probably worth noting that I have borderline personality disorder, and I think that this is an extension of my disorder.

There's a particular fictional character that I really like, but I have to be vague for safety reasons. If you know, then you know. I know I sound fucking unhinged when I talk about this topic, but when this character appeared in the most recent installment, he was completely ruined. His arc was bastardized, and he changed in a way that goes against everything that he stood for as a character. I feel insane because of this.

I know that he's not real, but I interact with and relate to fiction in a way that I don't think is particularly normal, so this change makes me fucking furious on top of wanting to die because of it. If he can completely go back on everything he stands for, then what's stopping that from happening to me? I can't talk about this issue because I know that people just tell me to get over it, but I can't.

There's nothing that I can do to fix this problem. I can't fix his character; I can't convince the writer to change his mind and fix him. I'm always gonna be upset about this, and I don't want to lose my anger or sadness over this change, because as insane as I sound right now, it would feel like I'm betraying him. I'd be a terrible person if I did that, but I'm not able to even participate in any conversations about him because I'll get mobbed by people who like the change, poorly-written as it may be.

How the fuck can I do something about this pain and fix him without betraying him?

Hello again! First are foremost, as someone how doesn't have BPD I'm very sorry for what you're going through. Attachment of all sorts typically toxically tear through us. This is of course proportionally enraged by your disorder, to levels that I as a non sufferer of BPD cannot really get the slice of personal hell your experiencing.

Still, you shouldn't feel silly, as it sounds like you posses an attachment to an idealization of this character. This attachment of an idealization is something that a lot of people, BPD or not, actually do. We do this with people we lovers, exes, friends, parents, and even non living things like products, and yes, fictional characters.

Of course this isn't to the extent of your disorder, which typically can cause these extreme idealizations. As such it can be near impossible and highly frustrating to these individuals differ from your set idealization.

I wish I could offer some sound advice, but honestly as someone who is not suffering for borderline, and is still obsessive over an idealization of an ex lover I'd be hypocritical to offer anything. Still, I can say that every day I see her posts, and it disturbs me greatly to see her suffer from my idealized and honestly obsessive image I have of her. As such, mine, and all idealizations of another LIVING person are honestly no more fantasy than your idealization of a non living person. All I can say is that I'm sorry for what you're going through. Just know that it's not silly, as much as you might think it is.

If you ever need to talk about this, I am willing to. I promise I will not diss your character if I know who they are. We are always here if you needed and I promise we will stomp the shit outta any prolifers who dare set foot in your posts. All love to you soldier <3

As someone who also has these types of feelings about fictional characters, I could understand feeling distressed with the change, especially if this character is someone who you love and find comfort in. If this character's arc was ruined by the writers, which has also happened to characters I personally find comfort in myself, it is okay to think of them for who they were and what they stood for before this change took place, especially if this change completely goes against this character's entire morals. It is okay to have an opinion on what went wrong, hopefully the team that this character is from is accepting constructive feedback.

A way I tend to cope with things surrounding a change in a character I find comfort in that got ruined by writers is going along with and thinking about what I would have liked to see in that character's development that actually fits what this character had before the change took place or mainly sticking to media that has to do with this character before the change occurred. It isn't betraying the character if the writers completely demolished what that character had going for them before. I also tend to stick around character AI websites for my comfort, you are able to create your own AI on some sites and set them up exactly how you want them to be like or there are some AIs already available based on some character's pasts.

You sound very imaginative! Creating your own idealized character, especially through AI could and sounds like it does serve to comfort you. All things change, and regardless of disorder or not these changes hurt us and make us question both reality and ourselves. That sounds like a pretty genius and honestly solid coping strat.

 

[borderline-feline]

Hello again! First are foremost, as someone how doesn't have BPD I'm very sorry for what you're going through. Attachment of all sorts typically toxically tear through us. This is of course proportionally enraged by your disorder, to levels that I as a non sufferer of BPD cannot really get the slice of personal hell your experiencing.

Still, you shouldn't feel silly, as it sounds like you posses an attachment to an idealization of this character. This attachment of an idealization is something that a lot of people, BPD or not, actually do. We do this with people we lovers, exes, friends, parents, and even non living things like products, and yes, fictional characters.

Of course this isn't to the extent of your disorder, which typically can cause these extreme idealizations. As such it can be near impossible and highly frustrating to these individuals differ from your set idealization.

The problem is that I feel the same way about this character that I do for my favorite person; the two of them are on the same pedestal. This feels like being romantically in love, and I think that that's the case. I think I'm in love with him, and that makes me feel like I'm insane, especially since I can't express that love since people who didn't care about him until recently will just mob me for it, hence why I'm being so secretive. I just want this pain to end. I just want my boy back.

 

[parader]

i somehow get it
and it's so weird that i guess i understand the feeling you're talking about, it's very specific?
i mean not exactly because i've never went through something like it but i can try to picture myself wearing your shoes
i get so attached to some fictional characters that i've been roleplaying one since 2018 in written text
there's one character and one only that i like so much to care and passionately write about
and i like canon a lot, that's what made me love them in the first place right? i'm not a big fan of AUs
i use the canon as the foundation where i gotta complete the missing pieces but still crafting them to fit and respect every detail
i'd be devastated if canon somehow/somewhere came to overturn my headcanons that i carefully invested so much to make sense and respect the lore

 

[borderline-feline]

i somehow get it
and it's so weird that i understand what you're talking about, i mean not exactly because i've never went through something like it but i can try to picture myself wearing your shoes
i get so attached to some fictional characters that i've been roleplaying one since 2018 in written text
there's one character and one only that i like so much to care and passionately write about
and i like canon a lot, that's what made me love them in the first place right? i'm not a big fan of AUs
i use the canon as the foundation where i gotta complete the missing pieces but still crafting them to fit and respect every detail
i'd be devastated if canon somehow/somewhere came to overturn my headcanons that i carefully invested so much to make sense and respect the lore

In this case, it's not even about my headcanons. Canon changed for no reason to completely go against everything the character always stood for in canon. I miss the real version of him from before, the version of him that I fell in love with. I just want my boy back.

 

[Holu]

The problem is that I feel the same way about this character that I do for my favorite person; the two of them are on the same pedestal. This feels like being romantically in love, and I think that that's the case. I think I'm in love with him, and that makes me feel like I'm insane, especially since I can't express that love since people who didn't care about him until recently will just mob me for it, hence why I'm being so secretive. I just want this pain to end. I just want my boy back.

Hi girl! Again, I'm sorry about the pain and overall confusion your suffering. As with all idealizations, living or not, they are going to be equally real to you regardless of their physical status. It doesn't make it any easier on you, but I just want to tell you not to worry about judgement. Anyone who does, is probably incapable of feeling attachment of any kind, and as such their opinion shouldn't matter to you(Even though I know all opinions whether we like it or not matter). If you need me to, I'm fully willing to go ape shit on them. Just ping me lmao.
I hope you can feel better. Regardless of their current changes, know that the idealization that you love is seperate from the current iteration of the character. They are both the same person, yet very different.
Again, if you ever need to talk just DM me. Or continue posting here since your posts are always phenomenally complex which require and allow for a deep level of introspection. Even if it's not your intent to help others I can assure you that posts like these help, as many people suffering from somewhat similar situations might not be as capable of wording their frustrations as you are.
Stay strong and chin up soldier! We are with you!

 

[sparkle]

Did they change sonics arms again?

 

[parader]

In this case, it's not even about my headcanons. Canon changed for no reason to completely go against everything the character always stood for in canon. I miss the real version of him from before, the version of him that I fell in love with. I just want my boy back.

that must be so heartbreaking, it's so hard to love a character to this extent only to have some drastic change that makes no sense whatsoever
i'd probably just leave the piece of media and/or fandom but easy for me to say when i'm not you :((
hope you get better, i'm sorry

Did they change sonics arms again?

wish i didn't get the reference :''')

 

[borderline-feline]

Did they change sonics arms again?

And this would be part of why it's so hard to talk about this shit. You talk about genuine thoughts that are driving you insane, and douchey chucklefucks come in to make "jokes" at your expense.

 

[borderline-feline]

Hi girl! Again, I'm sorry about the pain and overall confusion your suffering. As with all idealizations, living or not, they are going to be equally real to you regardless of their physical status. It doesn't make it any easier on you, but I just want to tell you not to worry about judgement. Anyone who does, is probably incapable of feeling attachment of any kind, and as such their opinion shouldn't matter to you(Even though I know all opinions whether we like it or not matter). If you need me to, I'm fully willing to go ape shit on them. Just ping me lmao.
I hope you can feel better. Regardless of their current changes, know that the idealization that you love is seperate from the current iteration of the character. They are both the same person, yet very different.
Again, if you ever need to talk just DM me. Or continue posting here since your posts are always phenomenally complex which require and allow for a deep level of introspection. Even if it's not your intent to help others I can assure you that posts like these help, as many people suffering from somewhat similar situations might not be as capable of wording their frustrations as you are.
Stay strong and chin up soldier! We are with you!

Unfortunately, I'm not strong. There's nothing I can do to remedy this problem, because I have no way of fixing him. It genuinely physically hurts when I think about this character because I love him so much and because I have so much hate toward the creator for ruining him. I get pains in my chest when I think about how he's been bastardized and mutilated by his own creator, and it makes me want to send the creator hate mail and kill myself, blaming the creator in my suicide note.

Unfortunately, doing that would only result in further hate and anger toward people like me, people who hate the way that he was ruined. My death would be used as a soapbox, and he definitely wouldn't be fixed because of that. I just want him to go back to normal. I want my sweet and silly little boy back. I want him to be the boy I fell in love with, but that'll never happen.

 

[Holu]

Unfortunately, I'm not strong. There's nothing I can do to remedy this problem, because I have no way of fixing him. It genuinely physically hurts when I think about this character because I love him so much and because I have so much hate toward the creator for ruining him. I get pains in my chest when I think about how he's been bastardized and mutilated by his own creator, and it makes me want to send the creator hate mail and kill myself, blaming the creator in my suicide note.

Unfortunately, doing that would only result in further hate and anger toward people like me, people who hate the way that he was ruined. My death would be used as a soapbox, and he definitely wouldn't be fixed because of that. I just want him to go back to normal. I want my sweet and silly little boy back. I want him to be the boy I fell in love with, but that'll never happen.

Sorry I didn't see this, haven't rly been here for a few. Again, I'm very sorry, I don't have borderline, and can never understand what your suffering is like but I can glimpse the pain you're battling, and I'm truly sorry. Whilst it may not help if you really feel like it go ahead and send hate/complain mail to the creator. I would be wary about death or suicide threats for obvious legal reasons, but a bit of hate mail never hurt anyone that much. And, unfortunately in this day and age, a suicide note blaming a creator for changing the character would best be private. Should it go public, modern media would run a storm with all manors of possible headlines for the event without understanding any underlying illnesses involved. Again, I'm sorry, hopefully maybe possibly the pain dulls. And just so you kno you are much stronger than you think. A fight with yourself, especially with an attachment, is incredibly difficult, and the BPD is absolutely upsizing the emotions.

 

[silkwings]

I wanna start off by saying that I'm making this new thread for 2 reasons.
1. This issue is rearing its ugly head again for me, and I'm teetering into meltdown mode.
2. The previous thread that I made on this topic got completely derailed by a pro-lifer.

I also want to make it clear from the start that I'm not crying over a character dying; I'm crying over a character being ruined. Please don't try to guess who he is or where he's from; it's a can of worms that I don't wanna open. It's also probably worth noting that I have borderline personality disorder, and I think that this is an extension of my disorder.

There's a particular fictional character that I really like, but I have to be vague for safety reasons. If you know, then you know. I know I sound fucking unhinged when I talk about this topic, but when this character appeared in the most recent installment, he was completely ruined. His arc was bastardized, and he changed in a way that goes against everything that he stood for as a character. I feel insane because of this.

I know that he's not real, but I interact with and relate to fiction in a way that I don't think is particularly normal, so this change makes me fucking furious on top of wanting to die because of it. If he can completely go back on everything he stands for, then what's stopping that from happening to me? I can't talk about this issue because I know that people just tell me to get over it, but I can't.

There's nothing that I can do to fix this problem. I can't fix his character; I can't convince the writer to change his mind and fix him. I'm always gonna be upset about this, and I don't want to lose my anger or sadness over this change, because as insane as I sound right now, it would feel like I'm betraying him. I'd be a terrible person if I did that, but I'm not able to even participate in any conversations about him because I'll get mobbed by people who like the change, poorly-written as it may be.

How the fuck can I do something about this pain and fix him without betraying him?

i can personally relate to this. but honestly i cant help. im in a similar situation and im hoping you can find ease to your pain <3