Story When life gives you lemons

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

Today my SN arrived at last, my first impression was how small that plastic container is, but I measured it and its gross weight is exactly 125g so it should be more than enough. I have yet to open it, as I do not want to expose it to air unnecessarily. I haven't thought of an exact date yet but I have a few ideas as I can only do it on specific days, also, I have some unfinished business as of now which have to be taken care of before I can CTB.

I believe it is time to tell you how I got to the point of choosing the SN method. Things have been stressful (and add a bunch of negative adjectives) for a while now, it was a disaster about to unfold. It did around two months ago, and I have a huge part in how things worked out, so I've got myself to blame for a lot of things. (Even now my world is crumbling beneath me)
I started having never before experienced suicidal thoughts, thus I searched the internet for reliable methods. It didn't take long to find this site, and I soon found out that cutting is not an option and I wouldn't want to traumatize a train conductor, while stopping traffic as well.
When I found out that there is this thing called partial hanging I was overjoyed, as I thought that I could do it at home with success. Turns out I couldn't, if anyone is interested, the reason why I failed is in another thread (I can look it up and paste it here). Although it is more accurate to say that I stopped trying after a certain failure.

Even while researching partial, I found out that there is this thing called SN, and it should be reliable. Sadly, it is hard to acquire in my country, so I let it go after reading Stan's Guide. Due to one of the tragic events that happened two months ago, I accidentally came across some meto (it would be hard to describe how without revealing too much information about myself). I thought that I heard that word somewhere, then looked up Stan's Guide again, and thought that I hit the jackpot, I kept it safe in case I fail at hanging. Although another thought of mine was that the world is telling me that "here's some meto go kill yourself". Other recommended medications are easy to get except for beta blockers, which I do not have.
I was exceptionally distressed after my failures, so I looked through threads for sources, and I was lucky enough to find the name of the shop without having to PM anyone, as I did not have an account back then it would have been impossible. While waiting for it I made an account to be able to interact with you, as I have seen many interesting threads when I was just a guest. Also, after reading through the whole hanging megathread (yeah I spend most of my time here nowadays), I thought that I could provide some information should questions arise that I am able to answer.
Thus, here I am with SN in hands, ready to go after confirming its purity. I can't say that I do not have second thoughts sometimes, and hope for a miracle to happen, but that is very unlikely. Although I am sure that I will stick around for a little while at least, being on this forum gives me strength and happiness, I rarely laugh nowadays, but when I do it is mostly because of you guys. Thank you everyone.

TLDR: My world fell apart, found this site, accidentally stumbled upon some meto, then ordered SN after multiple failures at partial, then made an account and now SN is here.

 

[Meditation guide]

Thus, here I am with SN in hands, ready to go after confirming its purity. I can't say that I do not have second thoughts sometimes, and hope for a miracle to happen, but that is very unlikely. Although I am sure that I will stick around for a little while at least, being on this forum gives me strength and happiness, I rarely laugh nowadays, but when I do it is mostly because of you guys. Thank you everyone.

I'm happy for you that you have a way out. This forum is all I have too. I really don't know what I would have done without it.

 

[Lordsudbury]

I've read accounts of SN and it sounds terrifying to me. But worth a shot. Good luck if you choose this route it takes a lot of courage. My life imploded as well, I know the inescapable feeling of dread.

 

[Meditation guide]

've read accounts of SN and it sounds terrifying to me. But worth a shot. Good luck if you choose this route it takes a lot of courage. My life imploded as well, I know the inescapable feeling of dread.

I agree that it sounds terrifying. I literally feel sick just seeing a picture of that all mixed up with water and ready to drink.

 

[Lordsudbury]

I agree that it sounds terrifying. I literally feel sick just seeing a picture of that all mixed up with water and ready to drink.

Would definitely prefer just real poison like cyanide.

 

[TripleA]

Make a limonade hahaha

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

I'm happy for you that you have a way out. This forum is all I have too. I really don't know what I would have done without it.

Having a reliable way out certainly makes me calm.
This forum feels like I entered a new world where everything is different, it is my escape from reality. Hail to the owner for keeping it up, and to the moderators for keeping it as safe (not sure if it is the right word) as possible.

I've read accounts of SN and it sounds terrifying to me. But worth a shot. Good luck if you choose this route it takes a lot of courage. My life imploded as well, I know the inescapable feeling of dread.

Thank you, it does not seem that dreadful to me, also, being able to do it at home makes it even better.
I am sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation as well. Hope dies last huh.

I agree that it sounds terrifying. I literally feel sick just seeing a picture of that all mixed up with water and ready to drink.

I had to drink some really awful medications in the past so I am sure that it won't taste nice, but at least it works relatively fast.

Would definitely prefer just real poison like cyanide.

If I could choose anything, then it would be N, probably the best method out there concerning everything except for availability.

Make a limonade hahaha

I can't say that I wasn't expecting something like this, but you made me smile. :)

 

[illbeinthegarage]

@cryptic__egg lemond

 

[LonelyNick]

I hope you find peace and eternal sleep, like minded stranger.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

@cryptic__egg lemond

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[illbeinthegarage]

We've drafted these Terms of Service (which we call the "Terms") so you'll know the rules that govern our relationship with you. Although we have tried our best to strip the legalese from the Terms, there are places where these Terms may still read like a traditional contract. There's a good reason for that: these Terms do indeed form a legally binding contract between you and Snap Inc. So please read them carefully.

By using Snapchat, Bitmoji or any of our other products or services that link to these Terms (we refer to these collectively as the "Services"), you agree to the Terms. Of course, if you don't agree with them, then don't use the Services.

ARBITRATION NOTICE: THESE TERMS CONTAIN AN ARBITRATION CLAUSE A LITTLE LATER ON. EXCEPT FOR CERTAIN TYPES OF DISPUTES MENTIONED IN THAT ARBITRATION CLAUSE, YOU AND Snap Inc. AGREE THAT DISPUTES BETWEEN US WILL BE RESOLVED BY MANDATORY BINDING ARBITRATION, AND YOU AND Snap Inc. WAIVE ANY RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE IN A CLASS-ACTION LAWSUIT OR CLASS-WIDE ARBITRATION.

1. Who can use the Services
No-one under 13 is allowed to create an account or use the Services. We may offer additional Services with additional terms that may require you to be even older to use them. So please read all terms carefully.

By using the Services, you state that:

• You can form a binding contract with Snap Inc.
• you are not a person who is barred from receiving the Services under the laws of the United States or any other applicable jurisdiction – including, for example, that you do not appear on the US Treasury Department's list of Specially Designated Nationals or face any other similar prohibition;
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If you are using the Services on behalf of a business or some other entity, you state that you are authorised to grant all licences set forth in these Terms and to agree to these Terms on behalf of the business or entity. If you are using the Services on behalf of an entity of the US Government, you agree to the Amendment to Snap Inc. Terms of Service for US Government Users.

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The Services include Bitmoji, which allows you to assemble an avatar using visual elements we provide (a "Bitmoji Avatar"). All Bitmoji Avatars are owned exclusively by Snap Inc. and we reserve the right to use any Bitmoji Avatars for any purpose, including to promote our products and services.

Any software that we provide you may automatically download and install upgrades, updates or other new features. You may be able to adjust these automatic downloads through your device's settings.

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Because Public Content is inherently public and chronicles matters of public interest, the licence you grant us for this content is broader. For Public Content, you grant Snap Inc., our affiliates and our business partners all of the same rights you grant for non-Public Content in the previous paragraph, as well as a perpetual licence to create derivative works from, promote, exhibit, broadcast, syndicate, publicly perform and publicly display Public Content in any form and in any and all media or distribution methods (now known or later developed). To the extent it's necessary, when you appear in, create, upload, post or send Public Content, you also grant Snap Inc., our affiliates and our business partners the unrestricted, worldwide, perpetual right and licence to use your name, likeness and voice, including in connection with commercial or sponsored content. This means, among other things, that you will not be entitled to any compensation from Snap Inc., our affiliates or our business partners if your name, likeness or voice is conveyed through the Services, either on the Snapchat application or on one of our business partners' platforms.

For information about how to tailor who can watch your content, please take a look at our Privacy Policy and Support Site.

While we're not required to do so, we may access, review, screen and delete your content at any time and for any reason, including to provide and develop the Services or if we think your content violates these Terms. However, you alone remain responsible for the content you create, upload, post, send or store through the Service.

The Services may contain advertisements. In consideration for Snap Inc. letting you access and use the Services, you agree that we, our affiliates and our third-party partners may place advertising on the Services. Because the Services contain content that you and other users provide us, advertising may sometimes appear near your content.

With respect to your use of Bitmoji, you grant Snap Inc., our affiliates and our business partners a worldwide, perpetual, royalty-free, sublicensable and transferable licence to host, store, use, display, reproduce, modify, adapt, edit, publish, distribute, promote, exhibit, broadcast, syndicate, publicly perform and distribute (a) any actual or simulated likeness, image, voice, name, poses or other personal characteristics (collectively, your "Likeness") embodied in a Bitmoji Avatar or the Bitmoji Services, and (b) any materials you create using the Bitmoji Services, as well as the right to create and use derivative works from those materials, in any and all media or distribution methods (now known or later developed). This licence is for the limited purpose of operating, developing, providing, promoting and improving the Services and researching and developing new ones. This means, among other things, that you will not be entitled to any compensation from Snap Inc., our affiliates or our business partners if your name, likeness or voice is conveyed through or in connection with Bitmoji, either on the Bitmoji application or on one of our business partners' platforms.

Should you develop or be deemed to have any rights in a Bitmoji Avatar not granted by these Terms, you agree to irrevocably and unconditionally assign to Snap Inc. all of your additional right, title and interest, including all copyrights, in and to such Bitmoji Avatar.

We always love to hear from our users. But if you provide feedback or suggestions, just know that we can use them without compensating you, and without any restriction or obligation to you.

4. The content of others
Much of the content on our Services is produced by users, publishers and other third parties. Whether that content is posted publicly or sent privately, the content is the sole responsibility of the person or organisation that submitted it. Although Snap Inc. reserves the right to review or remove all content that appears on the Services, we do not necessarily review all of it. So we cannot – and do not – take responsibility for any content that others provide through the Services.

Through these Terms and our Community Guidelines, we make clear that we do not want the Services put to bad uses. But because we do not review all content, we cannot guarantee that content on the Services, or that our users' use of our Services, will always conform to our Terms or Guidelines.

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egg, please reconsider your life choices

 

[Meditation guide]

Would definitely prefer just real poison like cyanide.

Wouldn't it be great to have some cyanide? I saw a video of a man who took it right after they found him guilty of something in a courtroom. He slipped it into his mouth, fell to the floor and was dead in about five or ten minutes.

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

I hope you find peace and eternal sleep, like minded stranger.

Thank you, I'm sure it'll happen, the question is when.