When It Comes Right Down To It,I Am Chickenshit!

[Bullit]

I am sitting here on Saturday night. Dread going to work tomorrow morning. Miserable. I know things will not get better. Life is over,or it should be. The song 'Everyday Is Like Sunday' won't stop playing in me head!
Come Armageddon,come indeed!!
Just checked the Hillbilly Store,put some SN in my cart. It said food grade,99% pure. Should be good. But the idea of really taking it just seems unreal. Swallowing that shit,vomiting etc. Why can't I just have an ok life? I really do not know if I would have the guts to say goodbye,cruel world!
Could've bought SN months ago when I first lurked here,but haven't.
Oh well. God bless those who have done their thing. They were brave souls!
My only consolation,I am a million times better than all of you!! Ha haha sorry just kidding!!

 

[Roadkill]

I understand where you are coming from.. I am the same way.. I'm just too much of a coward to ctb.. I'm just afraid of failing.. I wanted to blow my head off with a shot gun, but I've seen too many videos where the guy survived even when horribly disfigured.. I've run out of all options

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

You and me both. Twice now I've gone through the preparations and regimen and mixed the solution to put me to sleep forever. Twice now it's been left untouched on the nightstand. Once, I would've tried again if the police hadn't shown up to my hotel room.

I'm envious of everyone who's been brave enough to take the final step, whether they were successful or not. I wish I had their confidence and their bravery.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's the survival instinct - our brains are wired to survive at all costs, it makes going through with dying hard. I know I want to leave this world but that is what is stopping me, the courage and the fact that many methods can go wrong. I don't know how I would feel about it if I had SN though. I just want to pass away peacefully, just like falling into a deep sleep.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, even if I had SN with me, it would really feel unreal!

Whatever happens, I just wish you the best!

Hugs,

Matt