Discussion when is the time to give up?

[ecmnesia]

not related to cbt or recovery. talking about normal, daily things only, like getting a driver's license.

how do you know it's time to quit? what are your criteria to do so?

plus, what are your opinions on quitting? is it weakness?

 

[MichaelNomad123]

Quitting is no more weakness than changing direction. If anything it is a strength if it's an informed decision. It's how you feel about it and what you want to achieve that matters. If you quit and are unsettled with your decision, then you can start again. It's only when you stand still do you start to develop problems. This is a part of mastering yourself. Self assessment and being confident in your choices are part of the path to wisdom.

What has no place in this process is being hard on yourself. Be forgiving of your choices. Don't be overly critical. You are your own world and if you beat yourself up about the choices you make, you are polluting that world. Your world suddenly becomes inhospitable and toxic.

 

[All washed up]

I passed my driving test first time.

For me the time to quit something is when you are bored or not enjoying it

But that is a short term view which I've often regretted.

Think of long term consequences if you quit something ( though if you're ctb soon that maybe pointless)

 

[Weary Soul]

Only you can decide the right time to quit stop an activity.

On edit: I apologize if that sounded abrupt. I think the term "quit" comes with negative connotations, so I was responding to the second question you posted about it being a weakness.

In some cases, "quitting" is a good thing. Quitting a job for a better one. When every second with someone feels like acid that will eventually erase you, etc.

 

[antigone_iris]

not related to cbt or recovery. talking about normal, daily things only, like getting a driver's license.

how do you know it's time to quit? what are your criteria to do so?

plus, what are your opinions on quitting? is it weakness?

Quitting can be a smart decision. It isn't a weakness. Usually, you'll feel when the time comes to quit, or to change direction. The losses become greater than the gains, there is a perpetual feeling of anxiety, of strong discomfort and stress. There might be a strong feeling of incompatibility, like it's not what you want at all, or that you feel it's not right for you. It might sound cliché, but here it goes: listen to your intuition. Write it all down with pros and cons if it helps. Some pros and cons might weigh more than others, so give it some thought. My two cents about quitting, based on my own experience.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I am terrible at knowing when to quit so no clue

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

when you know for a fact that life will not get any better and may only get worse?

 

[GrumpyFrog]

For me time to quit is when you realize that the amount of resources you will need to invest to achieve a positive outcome outweights the positive outcome itself, i.e. trying just doesn't seem worth it anymore.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Optimistic view: you can never really be beaten if you never give up.
Pessimistic view: everyone gives up eventually.
Realistic view: when the effort involved results in diminishing returns, ie. you have to put in twice the effort to get half the dividends from that effort.

 

[demuic]

Think about the "sunk cost fallacy"

 

[LostSoul101]

Only you can decide the right time to quit stop an activity.

On edit: I apologize if that sounded abrupt. I think the term "quit" comes with negative connotations, so I was responding to the second question you posted about it being a weakness.

In some cases, "quitting" is a good thing. Quitting a job for a better one. When every second with someone feels like acid that will eventually erase you, etc.

I like the vocabulary: 'stop' rather than 'quit'.

Can we also extent the activity of 'stopping' to trying to recover/get better OR thinking about CTB?

 

[Weary Soul]

I like the vocabulary: 'stop' rather than 'quit'.

Can we also extent the activity of 'stopping' to trying to recover/get better OR thinking about CTB?

If I understand correctly, you are asking can we also stop trying to recover OR stop thinking about CTB?

If this is what you meant, I do not see why not, but again, that would be an entirely personal choice in my opinion.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I guess you could call it weakness because some point a person is bound to break like adding more and more weight on a person´s shoulders at some point they will collapse so the generic answer to this is people who kill themselves often have been strong for far too long, the majority of people who ctb don´t do it on impulse it is often people who has thought about it for a long time, years or decades just see this forum with 16.000+ members and the majority have had suicidal thoughts for many years or over a decade so the time to give up is when people can´t take anymore suffering. I bet you were hoping for a more specific answer but no one but yourself can determine if it´s time to give up it could also just be you don´t like the world we live in or don´t feel the reward for being an adult outweighs the amount of hardship you have to go through.

Others will say that it´s when you have tried every method to get better like doctors for physical problems, or shrinks for psychological ones but I don´t agree with this since no one ever asked to be born you and only you decides when you feel the time to give up is.