Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
When my SI has kicked in before I've thought it was a representation of my desire to live when it may have just been my body's desire to live.

When SI is inactive, I feel miserable and want it to end.
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
SI is necessary for survival of species. Species survive if individual survives. That's not conscious, that's a gift from times when there was a real danger to our existence. Eternal battle between our mind and instincts. Just like when we eat much but we don't want to gain weight or when we have sex but don't want to have kids.
 
SpottedPanda

SpottedPanda

I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
Jul 24, 2019
612
I think it's something you can't brush off. People who 100% want to die seem to have no problem in doing so.

You've just got to be sure, after careful thought, that you are making the right choice.

Survival instinct with regards to suicide feels like a bit of a bogeyman, to me. Sure, the will to live is within most if not all, to some degree.

What matters, I think, is taking the time to figure out if your reluctance is simply a desire to not take action and exit this existence.

The fact that there's any doubt at all in the question as to whether or not your instincts are a change of heart, hints that there's room for contemplation.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
I think it's something you can't brush off. People who 100% want to die seem to have no problem in doing so.

You've just got to be sure, after careful thought, that you are making the right choice.

Survival instinct with regards to suicide feels like a bit of a bogeyman, to me. Sure, the will to live is within most if not all, to some degree.

What matters, I think, is taking the time to figure out if your reluctance is simply a desire to not take action and exit this existence.

The fact that there's any doubt at all in the question as to whether or not your instincts are a change of heart, hints that there's room for contemplation.

Whether I want to live or not is irrelevant. I have a lot of health problems that aren't fixable. I've gone to many doctors. I'm on disability and can't work. I will always be renting a room in some person's house and will always feel uneasy wherever I live unless I own the place.
 
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FadingAway

Member
Jun 22, 2020
67
I think it really is just an instinct that is deeply ingrained within all of us. The only thing keeping me here are the required steps to CTB. SI is the path of least resistance from day to day. If I could simply push a button I would no longer be here. I feel the same way if I were able to get assistance through euthanasia.
 
Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
SI is a total bitch, in my eyes its over come or its not, I used to think, SI winning means you are not ready, but now I think its more of a case that you have not found the method that makes you feel at peace yet.
I have sort of overcome SI once before, but family screwed it up. Whether I was prepared to go or not, does not matter, but the sensation I felt on that bridge, the freedom, the peace could never be compared to anything else in my own personal life, it was truly amazing, as the best way I could describe it.
I know I can get back there, but sadly I have no time alone any more, which makes it hard.
 
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