Help WHEN I DIE

[Unattainable666]

When I die it's not going to be from ctb. I've been dead for a long time, I just keep walking around. My life has been a shit show - I wish my mother had gotten the abortion she so wanted. I could have avoided all the pain and loneliness. I've been dying from lack of humanity, from dealing with people who are cruel and inhumane - who hurt you emotionally, physically or mentally. They are the ones who thrive, we are the ones who suffer. The difference? We have a heart and soul. They have neither. As I sit here and ponder how I'm going out and how alone I'll be. But quite honestly, I've been alone my entire life. Dying alone should be easy.

 

[cali22♡]

It's hard to hear that you are at such a low point I hope one day you feel better

 

[FuneralCry]

Humans truly are the worst species to me, it's horrible and cruel how so many just create so much harm. But anyway it really sounds like you've suffered so much, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[inaminute]

The humans you refer to as cruel and inhumane are simply sheep, don't blame them for their condition because one day the will be found wanting and then death will follow them too.

 

[figurehead]

Hi I think we've exchanged a few words in the +40 group. Really sad to hear you. I think that dying alone isn't any easier, tho. In one of my attempts I was living in England, alone, and I can't explain it was somehow scarier because I was alone. I know, I'm not helping. But please feel free to PM me any time, if you like to vent or just trade a few words.

 

[Unattainable666]

Hi I think we've exchanged a few words in the +40 group. Really sad to hear you. I think that dying alone isn't any easier, tho. In one of my attempts I was living in England, alone, and I can't explain it was somehow scarier because I was alone. I know, I'm not helping. But please feel free to PM me any time, if you like to vent or just trade a few words.

Yup, that's my stomping ground the 40+ chat room lol. Thank you for your kind words I may take you up on your PM offer, I do wear people out quickly.

 

[new2blue]

Hey. My offer still stands if you ever want to chat or need help researching. By the way, I love your chosen artwork. The Starry Night is perhaps the greatest piece of art in history. I wish I could have spoken to Vincent. A man who used his torment to paint the magic woven in to life. They suspect he had bipolar disorder and shot himself in a field somewhere in France before appearing fatally wounded to his brother and died in bed. What a tragedy, that beauty could not outrun his sadness.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

They are the ones who thrive, we are the ones who suffer.

Sadly, human society really is a zero sum game. Happiness for most people comes at the expense of the manipulation and abuse of others.

 

[alwayssearching202]

When I die it's not going to be from ctb. I've been dead for a long time, I just keep walking around. My life has been a shit show - I wish my mother had gotten the abortion she so wanted. I could have avoided all the pain and loneliness. I've been dying from lack of humanity, from dealing with people who are cruel and inhumane - who hurt you emotionally, physically or mentally. They are the ones who thrive, we are the ones who suffer. The difference? We have a heart and soul. They have neither. As I sit here and ponder how I'm going out and how alone I'll be. But quite honestly, I've been alone my entire life. Dying alone should be easy.

My inbox is also open if you'd like to chat. I have five months left before joining the 40+ club but don't plan to be around long enough to officially join.

"I've been dead for a long time, I just keep walking around." I hope you don't mind if I borrow this line for my goodbye letter. It is quite beautiful and poetic. I'll be around for at least two months before I'll implement my plan. I know what it is like to feel things deeply and to do life alone. Not a fun combination. If you'd like to chat with a fellow "older adult" don't hesitate to reach out.

 

[Unattainable666]

Hey. My offer still stands if you ever want to chat or need help researching. By the way, I love your chosen artwork. The Starry Night is perhaps the greatest piece of art in history. I wish I could have spoken to Vincent. A man who used his torment to paint the magic woven in to life. They suspect he had bipolar disorder and shot himself in a field somewhere in France before appearing fatally wounded to his brother and died in bed. What a tragedy, that beauty could not outrun his sadness.

You are so right about Vincent. What a genius it touches my heart when I see his painting or hear the song. I may take you up on your kind words to reach out to you. I'm really struggling right now and quite honestly need as much support as I can muster. So, thank you very much

Sadly, human society really is a zero sum game. Happiness for most people comes at the expense of the manipulation and abuse of others.

Sad, but true.

My inbox is also open if you'd like to chat. I have five months left before joining the 40+ club but hope I can get an early pass. :)

"I've been dead for a long time, I just keep walking around." I hope you don't mind if I borrow this line for my goodbye letter. It is quite beautiful and poetic. I'll be around for at least two months before I'll implement my plan. I know what it is like to feel things deeply and to do life alone. Not a fun combination. If you'd like to chat with a fellow "older adult" don't hesitate to reach out.

alwayssearching202 - Pls come join us you don't have to be exactly 40. I believe I am the old fart of that chat room (62). You'd think at my age I would have my life together, but alas I don't. I will take you up on your chat offer. I'm in a crisis right now and really need support.

 

[new2blue]

"I've been dead for a long time, I just keep walking around." I hope you don't mind if I borrow this line for my goodbye letter. It is quite beautiful and poetic.

I agree. As a writer, this line really hit me. The sort of thing you'd read in great literature. :)