Venting When exactly is it supposed to "get better"

[ashfall]

I've tried so hard to get better and I keep waiting for the day life gets easier but it doesn't. Every single day is a struggle. Absolutely nothing is easy for me yes compared to 99% of planet earth my "workload" is laughable. I live with my parents, I don't have a job or cook, I only do basic chores and go for a walk with the dog every other day. It's literally nothing but I'm floundering. I've been trying so so hard to fix myself but nothing is working. I'm fostering kittens, attending group wellness meetings twice a week, seeing a therapist, taking all my meds and taking art and creative writing night classes but nothing is helping. It just all seems like too much and I'm so overwhelmed and I just can't take it for much longer.

My therapist keeps going on about how routine is important and that it'll get easier with time but it's been months and it's not getting any easier. Instead, I feel like I'm close to a breaking point. I've to give back the kittens in a couple of weeks and even though I keep trying I can't imagine living beyond it. I'm just so done. Every single day is a struggle. I feel like I can't breathe. I can't do it anymore.

I've honestly forgotten why I ever thought things would get better.

 

[freight_train]

sorry but therapy is a scam, been there done that. it doesn't get better, you just get used to the bullshit. it's all meaningless. personally I still need to get some meds from the pharmacy and am waiting for the opportune moment to cbt. but i'm in no rush

 

[lifeORdeath]

Yeah my routine is wake in fear at 530am
Dread the rest of the family getting up. Help them out the door. Wallow in my misery until the very last minute, then slime my way to work, and contemplating suicide all day while there between tasks.
Then contemplating suicide in way home. Then get home and contemplating it all night.
Repeat

 

[Cryptonite]

It is supposed to get better when we CTB.

 

[Lost Magic]

I was so desperate (even though I will ctb anyway) to stop myself from going crazy that I phoned my doctor for pills. I have been prescribed Prozac (20mg per day). I also drink 3 cups of kratom tea per day and other herbals. All of them combined have stabilized me enough or I would probably be in a psych ward. I also take two sleeping pills at night to help me sleep. Talk therapy has never helped me. I can't talk my way out of all the problems that are going on in my crap life. I just want to numb myself to the point that I don't give a shit anymore. It seems to be working. At least for now.

 

[lachrymost]

You're not supposed to ask that! It'll happen at some vague, indeterminate point in the future before you die. For sure. And it'll justify everything. And don't think about how it probably won't last. Just keep struggling.

 

[Hollowman]

You're not supposed to ask that! It'll happen at some vague, indeterminate point in the future before you die. For sure. And it'll justify everything. And don't think about how it probably won't last. Just keep struggling.

 

[CTB Dream]

It nothing really improves, time move things worse, human similarity product bring new feel new time move old feel deteriorating, best never ,sew all type example athlete never one say better 49 50 all say now or not 20 not even 30, all know future worse futures end death.

wait entire life say better say distract happne what only injury damage all stay make more suffer, never human trust nonsense say

 

[makethepainstop]

I've tried so hard to get better and I keep waiting for the day life gets easier but it doesn't. Every single day is a struggle. Absolutely nothing is easy for me yes compared to 99% of planet earth my "workload" is laughable. I live with my parents, I don't have a job or cook, I only do basic chores and go for a walk with the dog every other day. It's literally nothing but I'm floundering. I've been trying so so hard to fix myself but nothing is working. I'm fostering kittens, attending group wellness meetings twice a week, seeing a therapist, taking all my meds and taking art and creative writing night classes but nothing is helping. It just all seems like too much and I'm so overwhelmed and I just can't take it for much longer.

My therapist keeps going on about how routine is important and that it'll get easier with time but it's been months and it's not getting any easier. Instead, I feel like I'm close to a breaking point. I've to give back the kittens in a couple of weeks and even though I keep trying I can't imagine living beyond it. I'm just so done. Every single day is a struggle. I feel like I can't breathe. I can't do it anymore.

I've honestly forgotten why I ever thought things would get better.

I've been waiting for decades, for things to get better! Guess what they have gotten, worse!

 

[asadghostgirl]

I just went to a group therapy place and it was the biggest waste of time ever. I'm pretty sure it doesn't get better. They just push more solutions on you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've never really understood that phrase. My Dad keeps saying it to me. I guess it goes hand in hand with the 'power' of positive thinking. I'm willing to accept the LIKELIHOOD of things improving probably does increase the more positive and motivated you are- I suppose thinking that the future holds nothing but misery likely won't help.

Still- in my experience, things and most especially good things don't happen magically- everything seems to require vast amounts of effort and I think that's the biggest hurdle- we're all too exhausted and depressed for that.

 

[Darkover]

it's simple life dosen't get any better for the vast majiorty it just worse as time goes on

 

[outrider567]

No such thing as getting better, had one of my worst weeks of the year last week

 

[FuneralCry]

I do believe that as we get older, life just gets worse with even more endless problems and suffering than there was before. And all that humans have to look forward to is ageing where they will eventually deteriorate from old age. It's the fate of all humans and to me this is horrifying and there is simply no point to it all. Being aware of the reality of this existence makes the thought of permanent non existence sound so appealing and I certainly envy those who are gone from this world.

 

[tyasma]

It's dreadful and frustrating how nothing we try seems to make life bearable, or make it "work". I'm just like you, and have been for quite some time. I'm not sure if it's the exhausted aspect of long-term ""depression"", or just defeatism in face of what seems like impossible, and consequently hopeless, odds. I've tried just about every single medical treatment for what I've come to realize is just my poisoned outlook on life from such an early age (suicidal tendencies because of bad circunstances), and at this point I don't know if something, anything can make me return to the "normie" self-improvement treadmill because I always, always fall out of it and each time is worse, not to mention all the outside stuff that certainly makes or made you get this way, be it parents, school, life in general, or whatever.

I can't even study properly. Haven't showered in 5 days. Terrified to the bone of going out. No connections, severe disconnection, social anxiety and agoraphobia.
It's truly over.