it might be dependent on personality traits.
But first my current situation: I try to stay away from suicidal thoughts. Not having to go through college helps. My obsession with the quantum physics professor (a special person for my mind) decreased. At least the extreme self-loathing in this context.
A friend of mine accompanied me to the self-help group. A woman is gaslighting and manipulating me to hurt me as much as possible. I decided I gonna quit the group (most likely). I think our relation won't improve. I tried to repair it and it totally backfired. I am looking for another self-help group. My autistm self-help group isn't that good either.
Women in these dating apps avoid me at all cost. I am becoming more and more cynical about the dating market nowadays. But friends of me have similar experiences.
My mom is working her ass off because her boyfriend had a stroke and my grandmother had two strokes. But my mom herself had two strokes in the past. For me it seems to be only a matter of time when she relapses. She is the person who is holding everything together. I am not of much help with my various mental issues but I try not to be too much work for her as good as possible. But she looks really bad. You notice how stressed she is. I am really worried. If she gets more strokes and ends up a nursing case like my grandma we are doomed. Honestly, in this scenario which is not totally unlikely I would try to kill myself as fast as possible. On the other hand wouldn't that make the health of my family so much worse? This is why I try to stay away from suicidality. If I actually drank the SN last October horror would have erupted. All the current health issues of my family would have been triggered. And all they would do was blaming me. If I died I would have been fine. But I contacted people because I wanted to say goodbye to them. Actually it was good the police arrived before I drank it. Parts of my family don't actually know how serious it was. I am very anxious about the health of my mom. My dad is also in a clinic. And I am not of much help at all.
To the tite of this thread. My mom did a financial decision with my money for me. I think I would have been way too risk averse for it. I would have analyzed the whole thing like a million times and never acted on it. But thus far her decision turned out to be pretty good. I think my mom is more impulsive when it comes to money. She risks more. I am extremely risk averse. But sometimes very high risk aversion is detrimental when it comes to money. In the end I don't know how it will turn out. But strategically it was a wise and smart decision. But noone knows the future. It could also backfire a lot. But from the options I had and the current basis of information it seems to be a good choice. The least bad of all bad options I had. I wouldn't say I am that smart but at least smarter than my mom. But her intuition and fast action was probably better than my over-anaylzing and paralysis caused by ubiquitous anxiety.
I am so fucking scared my mom gets a stroke. I don't feel I am prepared enough. Because I wanted a break of all my soul eating anxiety and extreme pessimism. But when I see her. She does not look good at all. And I am not able to manage my life all alone. I feel better since I stopped this extremey anxious ruminating 24/7. But this scenario isn't that unlikely. And it could hit me pretty hard. A part of my psyche wants to be prepared for it.
But first my current situation: I try to stay away from suicidal thoughts. Not having to go through college helps. My obsession with the quantum physics professor (a special person for my mind) decreased. At least the extreme self-loathing in this context.
A friend of mine accompanied me to the self-help group. A woman is gaslighting and manipulating me to hurt me as much as possible. I decided I gonna quit the group (most likely). I think our relation won't improve. I tried to repair it and it totally backfired. I am looking for another self-help group. My autistm self-help group isn't that good either.
Women in these dating apps avoid me at all cost. I am becoming more and more cynical about the dating market nowadays. But friends of me have similar experiences.
My mom is working her ass off because her boyfriend had a stroke and my grandmother had two strokes. But my mom herself had two strokes in the past. For me it seems to be only a matter of time when she relapses. She is the person who is holding everything together. I am not of much help with my various mental issues but I try not to be too much work for her as good as possible. But she looks really bad. You notice how stressed she is. I am really worried. If she gets more strokes and ends up a nursing case like my grandma we are doomed. Honestly, in this scenario which is not totally unlikely I would try to kill myself as fast as possible. On the other hand wouldn't that make the health of my family so much worse? This is why I try to stay away from suicidality. If I actually drank the SN last October horror would have erupted. All the current health issues of my family would have been triggered. And all they would do was blaming me. If I died I would have been fine. But I contacted people because I wanted to say goodbye to them. Actually it was good the police arrived before I drank it. Parts of my family don't actually know how serious it was. I am very anxious about the health of my mom. My dad is also in a clinic. And I am not of much help at all.
To the tite of this thread. My mom did a financial decision with my money for me. I think I would have been way too risk averse for it. I would have analyzed the whole thing like a million times and never acted on it. But thus far her decision turned out to be pretty good. I think my mom is more impulsive when it comes to money. She risks more. I am extremely risk averse. But sometimes very high risk aversion is detrimental when it comes to money. In the end I don't know how it will turn out. But strategically it was a wise and smart decision. But noone knows the future. It could also backfire a lot. But from the options I had and the current basis of information it seems to be a good choice. The least bad of all bad options I had. I wouldn't say I am that smart but at least smarter than my mom. But her intuition and fast action was probably better than my over-anaylzing and paralysis caused by ubiquitous anxiety.
I am so fucking scared my mom gets a stroke. I don't feel I am prepared enough. Because I wanted a break of all my soul eating anxiety and extreme pessimism. But when I see her. She does not look good at all. And I am not able to manage my life all alone. I feel better since I stopped this extremey anxious ruminating 24/7. But this scenario isn't that unlikely. And it could hit me pretty hard. A part of my psyche wants to be prepared for it.
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