sadsoul
Alive and unwell
- Sep 9, 2018
- 440
I want to ctb sometime in November but right now I don't have access to a good method so who knows when I will actually do it. Feels horrible being trapped in this world and having no reliable way out.
I'm giving myself time to see if anything changes. I honestly doubt anything will get better though. I doubt I'll make it to the end of 2019.
worldexploder
Visionary
- Sep 19, 2018
- 2,821
Now but I don't have the proper tools yet. If things ain't moving by March I'm gonna say fuck it and ether jump or hang.
I'm aiming at November. That's subject to revision, though. I'll try to wait for the N to arrive, but I'm so anxious... maybe I'll experiment with hanging again soon.
Nem
Drs suck mega ass!
- Sep 3, 2018
- 1,489
Well, I am shocked that I even made it this far. Damage from meds, made my depression complete hell and then another insult from a sleeping med. I'd like to say in the very near future, I just can't believe what happened to me, never could've imagined this in a million years
Peace
Peace
Yesterday. Seriously. I want my life to be over and done with.
Before March or the beginning of spring in general.
Tara2018
Member
- Oct 17, 2018
- 69
I hear ya. I wanted my life finished ages ago.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,813
I don't have a particular date in mind, but if and when I get my method and the circumstances become really shit or when there is a big triggering event(s), then I will go through with it. By trigger events, I mean someone suspecting me of ctb'ing and trying to take away my method, threatening to lock me up (psych ward, involuntary commitment, mental hospital, etc.), that would very likely put me over the edge (especially when I know I would lose my method/ability to ctb in the future). Other kinds of events would be life changing events, like when I know that I will be subject to poverty, with little hopes of crawling out and becoming long term homeless, then I will absolutely end it before I suffer from the elements, disease, starvation, and other causes of death. There are other factors but again those two are examples of when I would just ctb sooner than a future planned date.
sadak_the_wanderer
An appropriate painting
- Mar 19, 2018
- 245
Unfortunately, I have a ways to go. It will be less than two years, though. It will be difficult to hang on for that long, given how I feel.
WaitingForTheBus
Student
- Oct 27, 2018
- 136
Hard question that under current circumstances, can change daily. If things go as I expect them to, it will be in the first week of 2019, as that is when my troubled daughter will move interstate to live with her Mum. Too many bad influences here for, her b/f is a dick. I will also have had the pleasure of spending Xmas with all of my children. Hasn't happened for a looong time due to logistics. So I kind of look forward to that. After that though, I am completely alone with my thoughts.
On the other hand, life is pretty challenging at the moment. My way out will be using SN and if I had the materials with me yesterday, that would have been it. Still some time away from getting in the Primperan from o/s.
So just in case today turns out as shitty as yesterday, which I have a feeling it may be worse, I will be disabling my airbag and may just finish it all off on the drive home.
On the other hand, life is pretty challenging at the moment. My way out will be using SN and if I had the materials with me yesterday, that would have been it. Still some time away from getting in the Primperan from o/s.
So just in case today turns out as shitty as yesterday, which I have a feeling it may be worse, I will be disabling my airbag and may just finish it all off on the drive home.
Trashcan
Trash
- Aug 31, 2018
- 1,234
Hopefully in a few hours (will be a good opportunity then hopefully). If I wimp out, I'll take that as a sign and see what I can do to improve my life.
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,136
I've booked a hotel for November. I'm determined but it's not definite yet. I've always told to myself that I will only have one suicide attempt and it will be successful. So if I really check in to that hotel in approximately 2 weeks, I will do it, no second thoughts.
Crazy, isn't it Rain? So much trepidation. And for what? For profits...I am so sorry hon. Keep me posted, and if you need to talk I am here. K?
Volatile
God
- Jun 18, 2018
- 1,286
LMHO...That is superb...llol!Christmas morning under the tree
Prime
A Nihilist
- Oct 25, 2018
- 210
Right now at this very moment. But I'm not home alone right now. It sucks.
Prime
A Nihilist
- Oct 25, 2018
- 210
Paulsmith
Student
- Aug 8, 2018
- 188
BaconCheeseburger
Comfort-eating
- Aug 4, 2018
- 693
Ideally spring 2019, but knowing me it won't happen
Right now. But I'm too much of a coward. I'm so scared I'm gonna fail again, they're also the burdensome feelings of guilt that comes along with it. I'm also attempting to see if there is a way of making the method I'm using more effective, peaceful, and quick but so far it seems like wishful thinking.
I'm goin to try again in November :(" I hope I can figure out a way to tamper down the anxiety so I can complete my death finally. Goin to have a few drinks beforehand.
I'm booking a hotel in Southport soon possibly this weekend. Go for a nice expensive meal, i might even put the expensive footwear on. I might pop over the casino for a bit of fun before making back to my room slightly merry while the meds are waiting on the bed. I shall say sorry to the hotel owner before i go, i cant imagine the experience they have to through when its kicking out time.
I'm totally jealous this would be how I'd like to go out too :)
Final Escape.. is all good :-) just follow the sun....( a great song by the way Xavier Rudd....to southport :-) This is my time its been coming
