Discussion When did you realize you weren’t cut out for life?

[Ardesevent]

Was there a sign, an event, or just a sudden realization?
For me, I just had a realization. My social anxiety was just too bad for me to get anywhere, I could barely even talk to my friends at that point. I had been pretty close to a shut-in for the past couple months before that, too. Now I've become a full on NEET, and I wish I had even some semblance of the terrible social skills I had back then.

 

[Blue LIPS]

Since I was 11yrs old

Father OD'd

 

[rt1989526]

Recent realization. I had built defense mechanisms in my mind over the years and had been pretty fucked up on drugs and booze. Now it's clear it's too late.

 

[TAW122]

When I became an adult and went to college. I started to question existence and found that life sucks for the most part, you go to school, earn a degree, come out, slave away for a majority of your life (assuming you didn't die of other causes beforehand), and then when you are old and ready for retirement, you just retire and wither away. No thanks, that's not the life that I want. This isn't even counting my other reasons for other societal shittiness, shitty human nature (humanity itself), and personal & philosophical reasons.

 

[Lupgevif]

I've just been treated differently from a very young age. It was easy to see because people wouldn't treat each other the same way they treated me. And as I grew up and saw others growing up in a very different manner I did, achieving more than I did, my supicions were confirmed. Sometimes I still feel I'm treated differently, my therapist says it is just a bias, but I disagree with her, since I've had more than enough proof, and she only knows what I tell her.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

my father had his big piece of shit moment, and everybody listened to poor ol daddy instead of me. when i went to school, i was an asshole who didn't know how to talk to people or go a day without making a mistake, clung to the few people who tolerated me, and then i realized just how disgusted i am with my life.

 

[alexit]

9 years old after I was molested by my mother. Fuck this world.

 

[death137]

When my depression and social anxiety became too much.

 

[Anthagonos]

Was there a sign, an event, or just a sudden realization?
For me, I just had a realization. My social anxiety was just too bad for me to get anywhere, I could barely even talk to my friends at that point. I had been pretty close to a shut-in for the past couple months before that, too. Now I've become a full on NEET, and I wish I had even some semblance of the terrible social skills I had back then.

I would like to answer your question but english is not my first language. What means "to cut out for life"? I tried Google but no idea.

 

[alexit]

I would like to answer your question but english is not my first language. What means "to cut out for life"? I tried Google but no idea.

That life was not something you wanted anymore.

 

[scrapbunny]

Not being able to deal with anything

 

[placeholder]

I can feel that social anxiety can be so unpleasant. Especially when people feel so lonely to be alone but be so anxious to interact with people.

Have you seek for professional help?

Maybe this article can help you. I don't recommend the video in it since some of video in the website is low quality. How to Overcome Social Anxiety.

For social skill see this. How to Improve Social Skills, How to Make Friends.

I don't recommend the video in the website since some of video in the website is low quality. Some of the article in this websites can be really low quality even if coauthored by staff so I prefer expert coauthored one. However you are responsible to verify the correctness of content.

 

[alexit]

Try Phenibut

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I was 17, I think, when I first thought about it.
I was 29 when I knew it.
How I'm still here at 37, I do not know.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Right now as I realized I did everything wrong in life.

 

[Green Destiny]

Suffering multiple head injuries growing up made me realize not long ago that the life I could have had wen't away. Don't have the mental capacity to take care of myself and survive in this world

 

[I screwed up]

When I realized I have an addictive personality disorder .. Whether it is booze, weed , cigarettes , or prescription drugs I just can't stop at recreation levels .. I always over indulge , binge on everything which has ruined everything. If I get over one addiction. I fall into other one.... I ruined my ivy school education because of this .. Now I have nothing left no Job or any friends

 

[Spiny Lobster]

My only passions in life are art and writing, both of which I tried to cultivate in college. But then the depression (which I've for as long as I can remember) got so bad that I began falling asleep in all of my classes, missing classes altogether, self-harming, making plans to end my life, etc. It doesn't help that none of my professors treated me with respect. That certainly put a damper on my academic dreams. And now I'm a college dropout with nothing left to lose.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

When I first started at my job. I was really excited and hopeful that I could work on my anxiety and change my life around. I was trying to be as nice and peppy as possible. But all of my bosses were sending me off to be buddy-trained by saying, "this is everydayiloveyou, shes VERY quiet and VERY nervous, show her the ropes."

Since I started working, barely anything has improved for me. I'm not a NEET and I can make my own doctor's appointments now. But literally what does that matter if social anxiety will always negatively affect my life? Especially when it's apparently so bad that people can tell that I have a problem even when I've only said like 3 words to them? Having social anxiety is the worst thing ever, especially considering that humans are an extremely social species :/

 

[Sinai Silence]

I feel there's a few times this has happened, or atleast times where the thought has been reinforced.

When my friend ctb. I miss him so much and wish I knew why he decided to go. I think about him everyday and I hope there's a way for me to find him after this life.

When my dad left behind a broken and abused family without a word, then how my mum took her pain and anger out on me.

After my first attempt and how my family reacted to that made me realise it would be inevitable that I leave this place on my own accord.

 

[Foreverever]

Around the age of seventeen. I started thinking about how I was only at the beginning of my life, and how much more I would have to go through.

 

[Cashewmilk]

Probably at 12 officially. I did have trouble around 8 and I tried my best between 9 and 11, but at the end of elementary school I realized I was going to drop out of highschool, I even said it out loud at my desk, we were arranged in groups of desks and I was at the head of it, alone... I was like "I'm going to drop out by grade 10, I can't do this" and eerily I did exactly that.
even during 8th the firstyear of highschool, I tried but it was extremely tough, I failed math and had to redo, at that point I realized I was missing something - I used to have this quote in grade 8 "I am incapable of completing tasks that require minimal effort" lol something along those lines. It just clicked, and also my family was a nightmare at the time and still is. Always something bad happening one thing after another, and another. It's literally the story of my life.

 

[lostangel]

At age 10/11. I always had a feeling that I wasn't supposed to fit in. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. I never felt like I had a belonging on this earth. like my whole existence was a mistake.

But that was only the start. My teen years reinforced that concept.

 

[Kain10th]

When I graduated college and still found myself living at home with no job

 

[Wincombe00]

About May last year when I turned 19. I'd always been "weird" and felt like a black sheep, but I kept persevering. Almost out of nowhere I accepted I wasn't cut out for this world, nor am I emotionally equipped to deal with it.

 

[Anthagonos]

That life was not something you wanted anymore.

Thanks for the explanation.

Right now as I realized I did everything wrong in life.

I know how you feel because it happened to me the same thing.
My first ctb attempt was when I was 22.
I took lots of benzos one day. Why? I still don't know. I was feeling that impulse for some months. Doctors asked to me why I did it and I always answered "I don't know why". Before that I remember that I was feeling bad. For example one day when I was 21 I went alone to the beach and in the middle of the way I started crying a lot without any known reason. I was feeling bad and I didn't know why.

I have thought about that a lot of times and still have not a final answer. Something unusual was happening to my body. At home they knew about that and never took me to a doctor to see what was happening to me. I though about someone put me any drug in the alcohol we took when going to dancing when I was 17-18, also though about weird things like withcraft. Because my body was reacting strange. Why start crying for no reason? Why I was unable to concentrate when I was studying?

Now I have several reasons. I'm 34 and I live with my mother. There is going to be a huge crisis, the pandemic, I feel old at 34, all my friends have family or girfriend, I have not an university degree, I haven't almost any sex in my whole life, I don't like my physical appearance, I won't have any kids, I hate my job, I earn little salary, I don't feel as strong as when I was some years younger. But what hurts me more is that I haven't enjoyed life in my youth. That's hurt me infinitely. I refused dozens of opportunities in my youth about starting a relationship with a girl. Now I feel very nad because I think I could have a family at the moment and enjoyed life. Also I had n intuition about lottery and I took no action. Now I could have had in my bank account an interesting amount of money and feel free. Those are the main reasons but there are more.

 

[CatabolicSeed]

Age 12. Began middle school and developed social anxiety disorder and started banging my head on walls to cope with the emotional distress.

 

[CancerGuy16]

When I kept getting sick since I was little. And all the childhood trauma I sustained from my parents, bullying and being teased by my relatives

 

[Joey]

When I became an adult and went to college. I started to question existence and found that life sucks for the most part, you go to school, earn a degree, come out, slave away for a majority of your life (assuming you didn't die of other causes beforehand), and then when you are old and ready for retirement, you just retire and wither away. No thanks, that's not the life that I want. This isn't even counting my other reasons for other societal shittiness, shitty human nature (humanity itself), and personal & philosophical reasons.

My thoughts exactly

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I had just started middle school and was having an existential crisis because I was halfway done with school, yet I didn't have any career aspirations. I would look around at my classmates and often wonder how they could just socialize and laugh without being as anxious and depressed as me. I felt so alienated.

I'd like to say I've improved a bit as time has gone on. But I'm still just not cut out for this shit.