When did you realize you cross the line from passively suicidal to actively suicidal?

[LostLily]

I have always had passive suicidal thoughts. But it really started to get real once I ordered my Sn and gather theother items needed to do the deed

 

[loveable_lamb]

For me it was when my plans became so concrete that I could picture mental images of how my last day would look

 

[areyousafe??]

I have always had passive suicidal thoughts. But it really started to get real once I ordered my Sn and gather theother items needed to do the deed

I feel like I could just cut and paste your answer and provide it to you, as my response. I started having suicidal thoughts at around 15/16, and now things started getting real when I ordered my SN in November of last year

 

[Forveleth]

For me there was this turning point with my partner when I told him how miserable I was with him and his reaction was to say the same manipulative shit he always says to keep me around. I realized everyone who has ever said "I love you" to me did it so they could control my life. Unfortunately, those same people are also integral to my life and getting away from them would take more energy than I have anymore. Death is a better option.

The moment I thought that, I went from wishing I could die to end my general sadness to actively planning and then attempting. That was winter of 2022.

 

[BlueButterfly111]

Good question! I realized that I was actively suicidal a few weeks ago when I found out about Sn. I was passively suicidal, then I realized that if I could have a chance to die asap and relatively peacefully, that I want to take that chance asap. I think the new year coming in brought me into a depressive state, also the Birthday of my deceased boyfriend on January 8th as well.

 

[NonEssential]

I have a suicidal thought at least once everyday. I've even bought myself a rope just in case and even planned out where I'd use it. I'm guessing that's actively?

 

[LostLily]

I have a suicidal thought at least once everyday. I've even bought myself a rope just in case and even planned out where I'd use it. I'm guessing that's actively?

Yup, if you actively make a detailed plan and actively gather materials than you are considered actively suicidal

I feel like I could just cut and paste your answer and provide it to you, as my response. I started having suicidal thoughts at around 15/16, and now things started getting real when I ordered my SN in November of last yea

So true, my it feels so real when I ordered it. It hasn't arrive yet thanks to the postal strike so not sure how I will feel once it arrives

 

[ctemourge]

currently passive, but thats by choice. its just not the right time yet. eventually it WILL happen. i have too many failed attempts & want to plan this one right.

 

[crocune]

when i tried to partial hang myself with my pullup bar and backed out right before i blacked out

now currently passively suicidal (hoping i would just die by a random accident) rather than active as my SI have kicked in and tries to keep me alive as much as possible.

 

[yearofluigi]

I think I crossed the line the first time I googled "suicide methods". It's one thing to just feel like not living anymore and another to start doing intentional research. Other thresholds for me were testing my hanging setup for the first time, finding DMC, making an account here, and ordering SN.

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I crossed the line when I ordered my SN. I don't see myself making through this year at all.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I crossed the line when I started detailing out methods and plans in my head. How I would do it, where I would do it, who should find my body, where I want to be buried ect..When I was passively suicidal I would just have the one basic thought of "I should just kill myself'.

 

[willitpass]

Probably around age 11 was when the switch flipped. I first remember being suicidal around 10, but it was intrusive/passive for awhile. 11 was probably when it became active. I've had periods in my life when it's been more passive, but I haven't been not suicidal at all ever since. Over half my life has been spent suicidal. Shame my attempts have yet to work.

 

[nomoredolor]

I tried to die Dec 4. I wish I had been successful. I had been passively suicidal until that attempt. Been actively so since then. I got my SN. But I am in daily therapy and trying to stay alive until fall ish. But I don't know it's a really scary time to live in the USA.

Hugs

Anna