When choosing your method, are you considering the people who will find you and the effect it may have on them?

[tameimpala]

I am new to this site and have just started exploring. One thing that worries me if I were ever to CTB is how I'd like to be found and the possibility that my death may traumatise those who find me or cause great inconvenience or even risk to others.

For example, the volunteers who work recovering bodies from the cliffs at Beachy Head in the UK have a tough, risky job and sometimes find it hard to cope emotionally.

How do you consider those who will find you when planning your method, and if you don't, why not?

 

[Redleaf1992]

Yes I have come up with longest dumbest way to try and overcome it lol. My chosen method is SN in my flat alone. My hope it to to get the Police to find me, and prepare them for it. They will be better experienced/trained to cope and won't have the same attachment as a family member finding out.

Here are my steps:

- I have brought a cheap mobile - which I will get a pay as you go sim for.
- Once I'm ready to pass, I will create a delayed email to the smaritans (suicide hotline in UK) detailing my location.
- There email system can be slow so I will drive to a public car park with my disposable mobile phone, ring smaritans quickly to inform them to keep an eye out of the email.
- Dump the phone at the car park and drive home so I can't be tracked.

I'm sure there must be better ways but that's what I came up with.

 

[doomer843]

I am new to this site and have just started exploring. One thing that worries me if I were ever to CTB is how I'd like to be found and the possibility that my death may traumatise those who find me or cause great inconvenience or even risk to others.

For example, the volunteers who work recovering bodies from the cliffs at Beachy Head in the UK have a tough, risky job and sometimes find it hard to cope emotionally.

How do you consider those who will find you when planning your method, and if you don't, why not?

Whoever finds me probably deserves the trauma, humans are all scum.

 

[johnlubber69]

Yes I have come up with longest dumbest way to try and overcome it lol. My chosen method is SN in my flat alone. My hope it to to get the Police to find me, and prepare them for it. They will be better experienced/trained to cope and won't have the same attachment as a family member finding out.

Here are my steps:

- I have brought a cheap mobile - which I will get a pay as you go sim for.
- Once I'm ready to pass, I will create a delayed email to the smaritans (suicide hotline in UK) detailing my location.
- There email system can be slow so I will drive to a public car park with my disposable mobile phone, ring smaritans quickly to inform them to keep an eye out of the email.
- Dump the phone at the car park and drive home so I can't be tracked.

I'm sure there must be better ways but that's what I came up with.

I have no one left in my life at this point and don't care how they find me. The more shocking the better is how I feel.

 

[steppingoff]

Less method than location. I won't do it home. But the woods or a hotel would be preferred

 

[Forveleth]

I'm trying to be polite about it and leave a sign on my bedroom door saying I'm dead and not to open it unless they want trauma. They can call someone or they can open the door. At that point it's up to them.

Honestly, I'd love to leave them traumatized as they destroyed my life but I also don't want them getting extra pity points for being the one to find me.

 

[tameimpala]

Less method than location. I won't do it home. But the woods or a hotel would be preferred

Are you not worried someone innocent like a child may find you?

 

[steppingoff]

Are you not worried someone innocent like a child may find you?

Yes. But all I can do is minimize it. So no CTB in a playground. But hotels are trained for this. That is my preference

 

[tameimpala]

Whoever finds me probably deserves the trauma, humans are all scum.

I am so sorry to hear that. I could be wrong but it sounds like you have encountered few or no kind people in your life and that is a tragedy. If that's the case, I would understand how you feel this way about all humans.

I believe there are innocent people out there, especially children, who don't deserve additional trauma since life is hard enough for most as it is.

I have no one left in my life at this point and don't care how they find me. The more shocking the better is how I feel.

I am sorry to hear you don't have anyone left.
I guess I can understand wanting to make a statement and I absolutely am not judging you, but my philosophy is to minimise suffering, whether it's mine or anyone else's, so I would prefer not to risk traumatising anyone who is not prepared for it, especially children.

Yes I have come up with longest dumbest way to try and overcome it lol. My chosen method is SN in my flat alone. My hope it to to get the Police to find me, and prepare them for it. They will be better experienced/trained to cope and won't have the same attachment as a family member finding out.

Here are my steps:

- I have brought a cheap mobile - which I will get a pay as you go sim for.
- Once I'm ready to pass, I will create a delayed email to the smaritans (suicide hotline in UK) detailing my location.
- There email system can be slow so I will drive to a public car park with my disposable mobile phone, ring smaritans quickly to inform them to keep an eye out of the email.
- Dump the phone at the car park and drive home so I can't be tracked.

I'm sure there must be better ways but that's what I came up with.

Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like a reasonable plan with a good chance of working and minimising the chances people who are not used to it will find you.

I guess it's a trade off between making sure nobody intervenes too soon but also that they find you in a timely manner before someone else who is not ready for it.

 

[waitingforme]

I believe it's the main reason I'm still here. My parents have made mistakes but they have also lived through their own trauma. I'm currently rock bottom and they have shown me what unconditional love is, but even knowing that I don't want this life anymore, I'm tired and I want to be with my late partner. She CTB last year. I lost everything and I have nowhere to go except to them. I have no money and my plan has its issues, one being a place that they wont be the ones to find me. Just because I live a life of pain and they made mistakes I'm not leaving them with the trauma and regret that I live with from my late partner.

 

[FuneralCry]

Everybody has to die somewhere, someday, I don't see how this could matter to those who no longer exist as they'll finally be at peace, whatever happens in this hellish world could never be their concern. If people are so upset by death then they shouldn't procreate in the first place, if it was up to me I would have chosen to never exist at all.

 

[F@#$]

Yeah,I want to leave as much trauma,chaos and general mess as possible when I go.

 

[tameimpala]

Yeah,I want to leave as much trauma,chaos and general mess as possible when I go.

Can you explain why? I'm really curious

Everybody has to die somewhere, someday, I don't see how this could matter to those who no longer exist as they'll finally be at peace, whatever happens in this hellish world could never be their concern. If people are so upset by death then they shouldn't procreate in the first place, if it was up to me I would have chosen to never exist at all.

I know what you mean. I still find enough enjoyment in life at times but I even then, given the choice, I would choose not to have been born as well.

Regarding whether it will matter to you once you're gone, most likely it won't but what if there is some kind of after life and your consciousness survives?

In any case, even if there is only a complete void after, I still have to live with myself until the last second and I don't want to be picturing the trail of trauma and suffering I may be leaving behind...

I agree that death is part of life and we should be more exposed to it and it shouldn't be taboo. But this is how our society is right now and we can't change that so people will be upset and suffer more than necessary depending on how we do it.

I believe it's the main reason I'm still here. My parents have made mistakes but they have also lived through their own trauma. I'm currently rock bottom and they have shown me what unconditional love is, but even knowing that I don't want this life anymore, I'm tired and I want to be with my late partner. She CTB last year. I lost everything and I have nowhere to go except to them. I have no money and my plan has its issues, one being a place that they wont be the ones to find me. Just because I live a life of pain and they made mistakes I'm not leaving them with the trauma and regret that I live with from my late partner.

I'm so sorry to hear your story. Losing your partner to suicide must be so incredibly painful. It also made you extra aware of how much suffering CTB can cause those left behind and I can understand that being a reason to hold off but it doesn't make you feel any better yourself. I hope you find a good answer soon, if there is one.

I'm trying to be polite about it and leave a sign on my bedroom door saying I'm dead and not to open it unless they want trauma. They can call someone or they can open the door. At that point it's up to them.

Honestly, I'd love to leave them traumatized as they destroyed my life but I also don't want them getting extra pity points for being the one to find me.

Interesting. I commend you for choosing to leave a sign at least, even if you're really resentful towards the people in your life. Even without the additional trauma of finding you, they will still suffer greatly from losing you

 

[F@#$]

Because I'm bitter and full of hate. I feel that's what is expected and deserved.

 

[Bunni'sLullaby]

I am new to this site and have just started exploring. One thing that worries me if I were ever to CTB is how I'd like to be found and the possibility that my death may traumatise those who find me or cause great inconvenience or even risk to others.

For example, the volunteers who work recovering bodies from the cliffs at Beachy Head in the UK have a tough, risky job and sometimes find it hard to cope emotionally.

How do you consider those who will find you when planning your method, and if you don't, why not?

A lot of my guilt comes from those left behind. If I CBT, I've tried to consider avoiding anyone I care about finding me. I know first hand the pain and trauma this will cause them, as I went through this when losing my spouse to CBT. For example, I plan to go somewhere secluded (that I know people come to), cover the windows, and paste a note saying to call 911; if I use a firearm. If I use SN, I plan to ensure I'm left alone, but schedule a text message to someone to notify first responders so they (or my family) are not the ones to come searching for me and find me.

 

[UKscotty]

Yes of course. Only someone really messed up doesn't care about those who will find our body.

We have a moral obligation to try our best to limit the impact. Innocent people don't deserve the trauma.

Saying we will be gone so it doesn't matter is sign of a psychopath and someone who only cares about themself.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not because I don't really care about any of that

 

[WretchedDreams]

Once I tried to cbt and I didn't think about the impact it could have on others. I had chosen a somewhat scandalous method, and in retrospect, I may have unintentionally done a lot of damage.

Right now, with a little more maturity, I think about going to a far away and secluded place on a mountain that has a dense forest. There would be plenty of opportunities for the animals to feast and by the time someone finds the remains they might be a clean skeleton. And that's if they find me.

If I tried it at home I don't think I could do much more than call the emergency services who are a little more prepared for these kind of situations.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, it troubles me but all I can do is try to make it easier for them.

I would most likely use SN at home. (I live alone.) I would send a delayed email to my solicitor, asking them to contact the police. My local police don't seem to have an email. I would attach my notes to my family to that email also. I've heard they don't always get passed on.

I'd work out a way for them to enter the property without breaking the door down. I'd alert them in the email as to what to expect to see in a SN suicide and to protect themselves as well as putting up signs. I'd lay down thick plastic and wear an adult diaper. I'd apologise to them in the note and thank them for their service. I thought about leaving them some cash, and for the people who have to clean up but- I don't know if they'd be allowed to take it. I'd also warn them that a family with children lives next door so, to please try to ensure they don't see anything distressing.

I'd hope they'd have more training/expectation for this kind of thing but, it's still unfortunate. But then- I'll say in my note that this wasn't my wish. I would have chosen to go at a suicide clinic if they were available. Ultimately- we can only work with what we're left with but I'd definitely want to try and limit the impact on others.

 

[Justnotme]

Not anymore. Now I don't care what body they find me in after I die. It's not my fault that death makes the body so disgusting. It's not my fault that I'm completely exhausted, and there's no way to make sure I'm found as a princess.

Do you give birth to people? Then be prepared for the fact that anything can happen to a person, and that your child can be crushed by a bus in front of your eyes. And your child will not look like a daisy after that.
Study what corpses look like, study what a body is, so that later you will be at least a little ready for what a body looks like after death, when a person's body swells and he looks disgusting.

I don't want my message to look like I want to hurt those who find me like this.

I'm 27 years old (I'll be 27 soon), and I don't want to hurt the relatives who find me. I'm not dying to hurt them, I don't have that goal.

But, in the end, life here may take such a turn that I will have to shock my relatives, because there really is no choice.