Venting When BPD is all they can see

[Ash]

I don't want to go into details right now as I'm too upset and I've not got the headspace but I've just had one of those moments of clarity where I've realised so many recent interactions have been entirely biased by others' knowledge of and interpretation of my having BPD. They haven't been able to see beyond it. And the consequences of the consequences are neverending. I'm usually in favour of formal diagnoses as they provide a starting point but right now, in this moment, I want to go back to living in ignorance as I feel betrayed and letb down and for once, I really don't think that's the BPD talking.

 

[DoubleUp8]

I am skeptical of any diagnosis from any mental health people in America anyway. If you see a shrink you'll get a diagnosis. Doesn't mean it's valid. Mental health and a lot of health care in America is totally fraudulent and psychiatry/psychology has always been more bullshit than science. The way this insurance fraud racket works is if they don't give you a diagnosis, they don't get paid. Kinda like when I became a "threat to myself and others" only after they confirmed that I had insurance. They initially couldn't find it on the computer and were going to let me walk out the door. True story. Also 1 time in California when I had no insurance, psychiatrist told me that since I had no insurance no one cares if you commit suicide or not. All true. As corrupt a racket as there is.

 

[Ln42]

I don't want to go into details right now as I'm too upset and I've not got the headspace but I've just had one of those moments of clarity where I've realised so many recent interactions have been entirely biased by others' knowledge of and interpretation of my having BPD. They haven't been able to see beyond it. And the consequences of the consequences are neverending. I'm usually in favour of formal diagnoses as they provide a starting point but right now, in this moment, I want to go back to living in ignorance as I feel betrayed and letb down and for once, I really don't think that's the BPD talking.

I completely agree, once I was in A & E getting stitches and the Dr asked my diagnosis and I said "what's the most hated diagnosis by Drs", he said BPD! I hate how we are judged and treated and if you have a situation where you know you've acted correctly, others blame you and say its your BPD. Im not making much sense but I hear you and i am sorry you are upset and have been betrayed, I am here if you need to talk.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's really awful, isn't it? Mental health professionals are the worst culprits.

You're so much more than any diagnosis and not every thing you think, feel, or do, is s function of it.

 

[Ash]

I completely agree, once I was in A & E getting stitches and the Dr asked my diagnosis and I said "what's the most hated diagnosis by Drs", he said BPD! I hate how we are judged and treated and if you have a situation where you know you've acted correctly, others blame you and say its your BPD. Im not making much sense but I hear you and i am sorry you are upset and have been betrayed, I am here if you need to talk.

Thanks.

I miss the pre-digital days where at least you could get treated somewhere like A&E and forget to mention a diagnosis or two and get treated like a human being, depending on the individual staff member's training and experience in mental health. Now it's impossible to avoid. (Best experiences have been from doctors and nurses who can see from my previous scars that I know the routine, so forget whatever it says on the records and just treat me like a human being. Amazing what a difference that makes to patient wellbeing and speed of treatment and how the patient feels long after discharge )

You're so much more than any diagnosis and not every thing you think, feel, or do, is s function of it.

I might get that printed on a t-shirt!

It's not something I think about very often - much like my sexuality, it's just part of me and sometimes I have to be aware of it and sometimes I can forget it. And it's more than shocking to discover that others just can't get past it, be they friends or HCPs.

 

[willitpass]

I was fortunate enough to never be officially diagnosed with BPD, some previous providers had mentioned it to me but never formally went through with diagnosing. I know things would only be harder for me if they had. Even just my diagnosis of depression, anxiety, and history of suicide attempt and self harm are enough for me to get disregarded. I've had severe medical emergencies be delayed in treatment because they thought it was somehow psych related. It really is such bullshit.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I might get that printed on a t-shirt!

If SS ever moves into the apparel business I'm pretty sure a lot of what is said belongs on a shirt.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

i've never been diagnosed with BPD myself but based on the symptoms i strongly and firmly believe i have it,although i could say lesser but the same for most B cluster personality disorders

The problem is with people with BPD is no one really understands or rather misunderstands,i've watched many videos on BPD on youtube and shit and all i ever read is horrible comments about how they're terrible people who should never be trusted and basically don't deserve to live or breath the same air that "normal" people do

Given my experience with life i can definitely relate to that antagonism…your emotions get the better of you,you do stupid things hurt the people you care about and love and then your made out to be this uncaring unfeeling monster that takes pleasure in hurting people…the same cycle repeats

You try to recover and what happens people knock you back down say that your lying shit on your efforts and what you back at square one…one thing i hate about the treatment of BPD is people outright call them monsters or say that their incapable of changing but no matter how much they say they want to or even try they keep getting knocked back by others

Its like this sick and twisted sprial of people not wanting those people to recover so they can endlessly continue to demonise them because everyone needs a villain to route against right?

But again thats my experience as the world always seemingly tells me my feelings experiences and thoughts are completely invalidate so i'd advice taking what i say with a pint of salt so yea…sorry I'm just sore writing this emotions are fresh from alot of stuff going on atm

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Imo - personality "disorders" are a method of oppression. It's all just CPTSD, but from a time when they didn't yet admit that CPTSD even exists and since CPTSD isn't going to be cured by a shitload of pills, they smacked on the "chronically disordered personality"-stamp on people instead and are now continuing with labeling people they don't like with them, even though they themselves admit that they stem from attachment disruptions in childhood. Thus making people think there is something chronically wrong with their personalities. Those diagnoses destroy lives and need to be removed.

I've been (knowingly mis-)diagnosed with BPD and it's still following me everywhere I go, even though the diagnosis is removed it still shows in my medical records which makes it practically impossible for me to get healthcare. I've been screamed at by doctors I've never met before, insulted, had my suicidality labeled as "attention seeking behavior" and "manipulative", medically neglected (to the point that I've been sent home with mucsle-related dyspnea labelled as "anxiety" and "hypochondria") and I've lost count at how many times I've been looked at with complete and utter disgust by people who've never even cared to say a single word to me.

 

[notevenhere]

You kinda do make sense. CPTSD is fairly new without much research about it. I've been reading this book called What My Bones Know and it kinda really helps me understand that repetitive distress of abusive in early childhood can give you CPTSD and bpd is a disorder born from trauma so it checks out, honestly

Imo - personality "disorders" are a method of oppression. It's all just CPTSD, but from a time when they didn't yet admit that CPTSD even exists and since CPTSD isn't going to be cured by a shitload of pills, they smacked on the "chronically disordered personality"-stamp on people instead and are now continuing with labeling people they don't like with them, even though they themselves admit that they stem from attachment disruptions in childhood. Thus making people think there is something chronically wrong with their personalities. Those diagnoses destroy lives and need to be removed.

I've been (knowingly mis-)diagnosed with BPD and it's still following me everywhere I go, even though the diagnosis is removed it still shows in my medical records which makes it practically impossible for me to get healthcare. I've been screamed at by doctors I've never met before, insulted, had my suicidality labeled as "attention seeking behavior" and "manipulative", medically neglected (to the point that I've been sent home with mucsle-related dyspnea labelled as "anxiety" and "hypochondria") and I've lost count at how many times I've been looked at with complete and utter disgust by people who've never even cared to say a single word to me.

 

[permanently tired]

I feel like it's all I'll ever be. I'm miserable, but hopeless for any change. Knowing I have it was relief for about 5 seconds and could begin treatment before I realized confirmation doesn't do anything for me. I'm fated to die prematurely and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

[Aplev]

And this is why, as polemic or controversial (or even unrelated) as it may sound, I love characters that do messed up stuff, but are highly misunderstood by society. Even better when they decide to go their own way, even if with remorse and/or hatred towards humanity, but at least they finally do their thing and don't give a %$#$ about what the society that oppresses them so much believes.

EDIT: Disclaimer, I still wish humans were more empathetic of each other and we didn't have to get in 'I don't care' mode, though.