Discussion What's your trauma?

[justletmedieplease]

A bit of a personal question, but trauma usually leads to suicidal ideology, hence..

 

[makingsure4]

Are you a psychology student doing research? What's your trauma? You go first.

 

[justletmedieplease]

Are you a psychology student doing research? What's your trauma? You go first.

Nope, just curious. Well, we have to go back to my childhood. I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family where my parents fought every day. They would break shit and later take out their rage on me and my sister. Half of the times after they were done abusing us, which included punching and smashing our heads against the doorframe, they would make us come to the corridor, where they would say their ,,goodbyes'' and claim they are leaving forever. Happened on a weekly basis, they were out for half a day before they returned. This also made my sister mentally disturbed and she bullied me all the way to my 13th birthday when she moved out for good. Every time we went on vacation my parents fought in front of strangers for the fucking world to see. Or just beat me up, whenever they were in the mood for. There was this one time we went on a beach vacation and my parent insisted I give them the directions to a restaurant that was supposed to be close by. Sure I followed by. But I was still a kid and didn't understand much of electronics. I took my time and my father knocked the phone out of my hand and threatened to kick me to death once we returned to the hotel. Oh yeah, he threatened me the entire time he was driving to the place

I was bullied all the way from elementary school to high school. I won't get into detail, but I had my first suicide attempt in 10th grade so you can imagine how brutal it got. Not to mention I was considering self harm but each time the needle would touch my arm I freaked out. Survival instinct probably kicked in.

I made some massive fucking mistakes in my life, which led to me being in a very young but sexually abusive relationship, which I do not wish to speak of. Almost caused my second suicidal attempt.

My grandparents are mentally ill. They spoke to me about aliens, how we are living in the matrix, conspiracies, and what the fuck not since I was 7 years old. You can imagine the impact this would have on a child, whose mind is still developing.

My parents threatened to murder my dog every time something minor happened. ( She is perfectly okay as of now and getting the best care possible :) )

There's so much more, but I'm not going to share my entire life on here. This enough for you?

 

[makingsure4]

Thanks. The female parent tortured me through various evil men and women, in my youngest years. Just a use doll to her and them. Basically my body paid for the rent and drugs. Then I met my Dad who built of all heart I moved in with at age 6. We still had to deal with her, but at least we did it together. We came out like war buddies, when she finally left. She's a sadist, physically and emotionally violent and it was good to have her gone. But she snuck back into my life again later making it very difficult to exist. I finally got her kicked out with the help of my ex and Dad. That is just a bit of an angle of my life. Again...Thanks for sharing. It's not an easy thing to do sometimes. I wish things had been better for you. And will get better for you. Good to have a pup.

 

[muffin222]

Physical, mental, verbal, emotional, psychological abuse in childhood, followed by bullying, sexual assault, and then, later on in life, domestic violence. The struggle is real.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Too many specific things to count but pretty much all of them are either from my dad, situations I couldn't handle, or myself.

 

[stygal]

Not feeling validated by one parent and pressured by the other.
Later on there was added physical abuse and even sexual abuse.
Plus one big thing in my life that still could count as trauma is probably the quick deterioration of my physical health.

 

[alice-in-wonderland]

I have been molested once, once repeatedly pushed under water to teach how to swim by a drunk friend of my parents, been in hostile school environment. But what really had a negative impact on my mental and physical health is my mom's behaviour.
My mom emotionally manipulating me into doing things her way. She knew how sensitive I am and how protective of her I became after my father's death at the age of 6. She would use my fear of hear death to bend me to her needs. Until the age of 30 the only thing I felt was the urge to live and serve everyone(but me) who would come asking for my help. It resulted in financial and mental/physical health loss.

 

[nora.]

definitely hospital experience, child parent's divorce when im 4, and my mother snapping in front of me. nurses laughing at my s/h scars, saying that im mad while im tied up. i remember all of it although im just 11 at that time. it still gives me nightmares.
sorry everyone had to go through so much trauma. if only i could do something.

 

[Shero]

I think the first trigger was when i saw someone kill themselfes in front of me as a 3-5 year old.
It's like running a slide show, I can look back in detail what the aftermath of their death was like.
However, I'm long past that, I think there were things that affected me more negatively than this event as strange as it may sound. They were not worse, but because of the repetitive occurrence they had a greater impact on my mental state.

 

[Frauw]

Being forced into existence.

 

[Squiddy]

Being bullied horribly from elementary throughout highschool (middle school being the worst). I was punched, kicked, called a bitch, asshole, threatened to have the shit beaten out of me, made fun of for my thick hair, being socially awkward, told to go die in a hole etc.

 

[tiredxillenial]

The most harmful was being hit all the time and raised with serious emotional abuse. There were also many bullies and attacks from other kids, which I had been conditioned to accept from my parents hitting me all the time. In adulthood I've experienced a lot of workplace harrasement, bad encounters with the medical system, and a high discrimination load from being trans.

Being hit all the time in young childhood is probably the biggest factor in my suicidality. I was also always taught that there was something wrong with me when there wasn't. One example of that is that my parents injected me with human growth hormone repeatedly when I was in elementary school because they wanted me to be tall. It wasn't about health and I was in fact considered standard height when they did it. I was under 10. They are seen by some people as being 'model' for this. These people generally are sick fucks who think fat shaming is a good thing though, which is also something my parents did to me and my siblings (it's a problem regardless but I will also point out that my siblings and I are all considered underweight according to BMI and have always been so.)

 

[Water-Lily]

Abuse from mom, family members, friends, bullies, sexual abuse, etc

 

[Sherri]

So many, and so ashamed to say it.

 

[DuckieWaddles]

Seeing my mom get raped and beat up by my dad, seeing my grandmother attempt with Valium, Codeine and whiskey, my (drunken) grandmother asking me where the nearest gun shop was, my parents trying to use everything against each other, dad getting drunk and beating me up (only once), I've mostly blocked out those years.

 

[sunshine5]

Abuse from family and men that I have dated. Being mistreated/once abused by doctors and therapists. Realising that the world is just one big game and you only win if your face fits.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

bullying, narcissistic abuse, controlling and negligent mother, and psychiatric abuse

 

[WornOutLife]

My high school's terrible memories.

 

[Water-Lily]

[Removed]

My trauma is similar to yours. Though I wasnt sexually abused by my family, my moms abuse is the reason why I want to kill myself. No therapy medication or anything will release the pain of the trauma that ruins my life. I would rather die

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Being bullied for my incurable acne by school mates, even my family would say mean things. I never been the same since

 

[Largeletters]

My dad being incarcerated, being bullied, being in a controlling romantic relationship, other things I don't really know how to talk about or put into words.

 

[Weary Soul]

Way too much to discuss here, and too painful to think about for me right now.

And that was not said to belittile your thread/question, I do think it can help people to discuss trauma with those who understand - it is just too hard for me right now.

To everyone here who has suffered trauma, I am so very sorry. I so wish I could make things better for everyone here who wants it. But I can't, I am limited to expressing how very sorry I am that you have suffered so much.

Sending hugs, love, and support to you over the internet.

<3

 

[Squalo]

when I was 6 I saw my unconscious mother lying on the floor in the living room, she had a horrible foam in her mouth and her eyes wide but expressionless; she had attempted suicide with psychiatric drugs.

I was in the house alone and I burst into tears, after that scene I don't remember anything.
my mother was immediately hospitalized for about a month, and she was saved by a miracle. she is still alive.

 

[FuneralCry]

Just existing in general has traumatised me, as every year goes by, I get more and more tired. We cannot forget anything really. Specific events do stand out though, I have many bad memories. I was never meant for this life really.

 

[lofticries]

Growing up with my parents not only being abusive towards eachother but me as well. Not physically(well sometimes with my mom when I was really young) but a whole lotta mental abuse (especially from my dad who makes me feel the most worthless).

I would rather throw myself off the nearest building right now than be trapped in a marriage(if you can call it that) like theirs.

Toxic relationships are a big trigger for me because of them. More so if said toxic relationships involve childrean.

I wish the media and movies would stop romanticizing marriage and having kids so much. This is why stupid impressionable adults think the married life with kids is gonna be like the brady bunch 24/7.