My Mum died 2 years ago from Bronchial pneumonia. Completely out of the blue. She was disabled and had a history of Bipolar, although when she was diagnosed decades ago it was known as Manic depression. I saw my family once a year. They never visited me in London at all. It was always me doing the running, calling, visiting etc. After my mum died my dad, brother and sister still never drove up to London to visit. But my dad would go camping with my sister, my brother in law and my nephew. My brother would drive 30 miles to see his friends in a seaside town. My dad picked my sister up from Heathrow airport, when she came back from living in Australia. Still no visits! A year and a half ago I stopped calling them. There were other factors that came into play also. My dad had a temper when we were young. My dad has tried calling me once. My brother multiple times, and my sister hasn't called me in that time. My Nan died in 2012, from cancer. My last grandparent.
I have abandonment issues, regarding my family. They are a bit scared of me, because of my mood swings and previous alcohol problems. My previous amphetamine addiction too. Although I don't think they knew about the speed addiction. I'm no longer drinking or doing speed. But they've never really forgotten or forgiven my wild child behaviour. I'll always be a disappointment. They like to keep me at arms length. Even years after my reformation. When I was younger, there was physical discipline too, my dad used to hit me with a belt, my siblings too. He feels remorseful for that and I've forgiven him.
