what's your biggest fear in regards to your potentially future suicide?

[xXSufferingXx]

one of mine is to become famous because i go missing if i jump from a bridge or something and they can't find my body right away.
i don't want that.

that's just one fear tho...
needless to say making loved ones heartbroken

 

[chudpolonais]

people circling around me like it's a shame ritual

either that or leaving my grandparents behind, i'm the only one they can count on

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Other people around me, who are mentally unwell, seeing it as justification for their own suicide rather than using it to get better. That and not ending up dead. Maybe it's biased or judgemental of me, and I don't mean to offend anyone and it is a result of the inherent and unfair principles of our society that we end up subconsciously internalizing no matter how hard we try against it, but some regrettable but small area of my mind still carries this notion that suicide attempts are a cry for attention. I don't want that, I don't want people to perceive me as this person who just wanted attention when I wanted to die, even as I currently promote that perception with my actions.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Eternity in hell

Surviving crippled

Reincarnation or recurrence of the same

Family losing their minds

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

surviving but with large amounts of damage

surviving but being caught in the middle of/found after something that is obviously ctb and now everyone knows i am suicidal

the thought of people being mad at me because i killed myself

no one caring

people being traumatized by it

 

[OutcastsAlwaysMourn]

The only thing stopping me is my death would hurt those I - for some reason - still care about; lucky for me that list is incredibly short. Once my two cats and my mother has passed away nothing will stop me. Even though I'll be gone I can't stand the idea of my mother crying over my passing - the image makes me stop every time. I also can't stand the idea of my cats being euthanized because no one will take them in, and they are happy despite me being miserable.

 

[bakenohana]

failing the suicide and ending up locked away and or/ as vegetable is a pretty big one. but my biggest fear overall is what will be done with my body and if my privacy will still be respected. the idea of my body not being cremated freaks me out but I have hope my parents will respect my wishes, im thinking about writing a will too so i guess that part is sorted out ? the privacy part im not sure i really dont want anyone to go through my phone even if I have trust they won't there's always a chance they will and i find it horrible to think about because the things I've shared on the internet no matter where i shared them are deeply personal to me and if someone from my family or anyone really went through any of it I'm literally coming back to life just to tell them they're awful people. I'm gonna factory wipe my devices whenever i do but I'm scared they'll somehow find a way into my emails even after factory reset. I also feel pretty sad at the idea of potentially being deadnamed and misgendered after death but i suppose I can't let that and everything else stop me from my only true goal.

 

[xXSufferingXx]

Eternity in hell

i conquered this fear, but i totally relate

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

i conquered this fear, but i totally relate

How? Thinking about the absurdity of the Bible and all the wacky and impossible things that happen should do it, but the idea that the whole world is deceived and God graciously enlightens some of us worms its way into my mind

 

[xXSufferingXx]

How? Thinking about the absurdity of the Bible and all the wacky and impossible things that happen should do it, but the idea that the whole world is deceived and God graciously enlightens some of us worms its way into my mind

well, i'm very careful discussing religion or slandering it bc it can be offensive, but...
i have a lot of friends of different religions. and i just felt like:
"i don't believe in a god who says he would throw these people in hell simply bc they were born in a place where the main religion isn't my religion".
stuff like that, but i'm not comfortable speaking about it lol.

 

[tiokapaws]

It hurting. I really dont want it to hurt for longer than it should. I'm scared I kight do it wrong. Or unpleasant thoughts might pop up in my head. I'm also worried about my siblings. Before, I used to worry that my youngest brother—who I saw as my own child, and him, for the first few years of his life, saw me as his mother—would forget or not remember me. But he's old enough now to where I'd like to hope he'd remember me. Though I feel as if maybe it's not the blessing I'd hope it'd be.

 

[InTheAbyss]

Mostly fear of failing being the biggest. Fear of being caught and put in an institution or being permanently messed up and being in worse shape than I am now. Also some fear of pain. As the others.

 

[Bobby2Phat]

Surviving and being put back in mental health care against my will.

The mental anguish I will put my Mother through (although I maintain she would have had less mental anguish had I done it years ago)

Fear of the unknown.

Apart from hanging on for my ex that is all that has held me back. Just tying up ends and comfort eating until my money is gone and then it's time.

 

[ghosted1]

My fear is not being ready... and rushing into it. I want to be relaxed, so when I end it the feelings I feel are the ones I want to.

I'm also scared because once I'm dead the world is going to shrink down. And life will be gone for everyone else very quickly, I won't get to be there to see it... it's the finality of it.

 

[Bobby2Phat]

My fear is not being ready... and rushing into it. I want to be relaxed, so when I end it the feelings I feel are the ones I want to.

I'm also scared because once I'm dead the world is going to shrink down. And life will be gone for everyone else very quickly, I won't get to be there to see it... it's the finality of it.

I can relate to the not being ready part so much.

On one hand 'holding on' has led to some amazing experiences and on the other hand it's led to much suffering, not only for me but for those that have tried to support me (which is often a thankless task).

I think for myself I'm at a point where I'm glad I had those experiences but those same experiences or similar are now so far out of reach for many reason and my body is failing me and my ability to earn enough money to live on has gone (I work with my body) that those reasons to hold on have now been outweighed.

I think that is what everybody should actually be looking to do; wait until you are of sound enough mind to make a logical scale of reasons, THEN take a step back, take more time than you think you need, try and break out of your 'box' so to speak and have new experiences and THEN weigh it up again… but then again who am I to tell people how to manage their life choices and having others tell me how and control me has been damaging as well.

 

[burninghill]

Triggering my mother into committing suicide herself or existing in a nothingless void after death are my biggest fears

 

[Webcore]

Making my parents spiral, my dad already struggles with being an alcoholic, I can't imagine what a dead kid would do to that.

Also the inherent, what if I kill myself and everything in my life turns out to be okay?

 

[madeincruddy]

Of course, I'm worried about my loved ones, I'm worried about failing, and I'm worried for who will find my body.

Being specific to my plan, though, I'm going to travel to another city. I'm worried about keeping it together in front of my family when it's time to say goodbye. I don't know if I'll be able to act normal the day I leave

 

[FuneralCry]

All I'd fear is trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to way worse pain, suffering and torture in this existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I just find it so horrific and dreadful how that can happen and I always suffer so much from existing in this horrific, evil world where the suffering and torture is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, to suffer in this existence is just the most terrible, painful abomination to me.

I just want to erase this existence, I just want peace from this horrific world where existing beings are tortured endlessly and I'll always see existing as just being only suffering, all I want is to be permanently free from this terrible, torturous cruel existence that just causes all this pain, harm and suffering, denying painless death is the most terrible unacceptable crime to me.

 

[itsgone2]

Fear of the act apparently. I think about failing some. I think about hell some. I think of those I leave behind. The mess of it all. But then i make a plan and just can't follow through

 

[thelostautistic]

This might sound odd but I'm scared of my story being told incorrectly. I don't feel like the people around me know the real me. My whole life feels like an act. That's why I'm planning to leave a lengthy note explaining why I chose to leave and what I was going through.

 

[Forveleth]

losing the freedom or supplies to kill myself. I have supplies for multiple methods hidden in various places around the house, just in case one of them is discovered. As for the actual attempt, I have zero fears or worries. I have done my research into solid methods, and I will definitely not attempt unless I know I have plenty of time to not be found.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Being reborn or existing in some way that causes suffering (no matter how minute) after death. I just want nothingness, but i don't believe in that