Story what’s the point in trying to get help

[fatigued]

i took a non-lethal overdose in an effort to get taken seriously by any mental health services whatsoever, as i am always told i don't me the criteria to receive help. 15 hours later i am sitting in the hospital being discharged and re-referred to the same service that has consistently rejected me from their care.

next attempt will be the last. maybe i'll meet the criteria when i'm in the fucking ground.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

I'm really sorry this happened to you, it shouldn't happen in this day and age.

Seems like nowadays you're forced to go privately or not receive care at all. You'd almost be better off reaching out to charity counselling services or the likes, an absolute shitshow.

I genuinely hope this time they take you seriously enough to give you all the support you need.

 

[fatigued]

at this point it's so clear the value my life has. why waste money when it's obvious what the intended outcome is?

 

[carac]

I don't want to sound pessimistic but the uk health care system is a joke right now, it did a pretty good job of trying to kill me and almost succeeded. In the end I was lucky to finally stumble on a way I could help myself but that wasn't before many years of suffering that could have been avoided. I know self help isn't viable for everyone, they might need a professional and the right one at that but getting it is so hard. You have my sympathies.

 

[fatigued]

I don't want to sound pessimistic but the uk health care system is a joke right now, it did a pretty good job of trying to kill me and almost succeeded. In the end I was lucky to finally stumble on a way I could help myself but that wasn't before many years of suffering that could have been avoided. I know self help isn't viable for everyone, they might need a professional and the right one at that but getting it is so hard. You have my sympathies.

thank you. all i am told is that i need to help myself. which i have tried and failed to do. if you have a disease or an injury, do you forgo the doctor and just think positively? but that's basically what's being suggested to me. being made to feel like all my problems boil down to me not trying hard enough is making me crazy

 

[Lavender Dreams]

thank you. all i am told is that i need to help myself. which i have tried and failed to do. if you have a disease or an injury, do you forgo the doctor and just think positively? but that's basically what's being suggested to me. being made to feel like all my problems boil down to me not trying hard enough is making me crazy

Have you tried switching your GP? I know sometimes they can be a massive pain whenever you ask for a specific referral. Or they want to hand out the medication before bothering, in that case - let them and come back.

 

[fatigued]

Have you tried switching your GP? I know sometimes they can be a massive pain whenever you ask for a specific referral. Or they want to hand out the medication before bothering, in that case - let them and come back.

it's actually not the gp's fault here (surprising i know). the gp has to refer me on to my community mental health team, they can't make the referral directly. this team are the ones who keep rejecting the referrals. even at the hospital, the mental health liaison here has to refer me to that same community team. the last gp i spoke to was actually really kind, and sounded genuinely concerned about my well-being.
on the medication front, i have tried 3 and not much luck

 

[Lavender Dreams]

I see. I'm not sure if this is how it works where you are, but usually they tend to run you through the PHQ-9 and GAD-7 questionnaires, and ask whether you're suicidal. If so, whether you have a detailed plan and want to execute on it soon.

The general advice tends to say to reply no to the last questions because of the fears of being committed. My recommendation is to answer these as honestly as you can when you're desperate for help. If you already did this, I'd figure it must be the mental health services teams being too overwhelmed to take on more, and that sucks a lot.

I have pmd you if you want to take the conversation off here, in case this is leaning towards too much personal information.

 

[fatigued]

I see. I'm not sure if this is how it works where you are, but usually they tend to run you through the PHQ-9 and GAD-7 questionnaires, and ask whether you're suicidal. If so, whether you have a detailed plan and want to execute on it soon.

The general advice tends to say to reply no to the last questions because of the fears of being committed. My recommendation is to answer these as honestly as you can when you're desperate for help. If you already did this, I'd figure it must be the mental health services teams being too overwhelmed to take on more, and that sucks a lot.

I have pmd you if you want to take the conversation off here, in case this is leaning towards too much personal information.

i'm not sure if you mean by the hospital doc or the gp?
the gp asked me a few simple questions (rating my mood from 1-10, am i going to harm myself or others, do i have a plan, how long have i felt this way, etc) which i answered honestly except for the have a plan for the same reasons you said. the hospital doc took just fixated on me saying i experience pain (i have fibromyalgia) and basically decided that that was the sole cause of my low mood, hence the discharge. he actually didn't even ask me if i have any more plans at all (???), i definitely would have considered saying yes if he had.

i have been taken to the hospital for suicidal ideation before, several years ago now. i had a detailed plan… they discharged me in less than 4 hours and made me a follow-up appointment a week later. in that appointment some nurses assessed me, then put me on a waiting list to be seen. they told me it could take up to two years. i say fine and suck it up because at least i'm on the list, right? i call back two years later and i was never placed on the list in the first place. but they can re-book the original appointment and i can start the process all over again. yippee!! so that's the point i began to give up.

all that was the whole reason i felt i had to take more drastic action, but it looks like it will get me squarely nowhere.

thank you, but i don't mind talking about my experiences publicly! maybe there's someone experiencing similar who can be reassured that they're not going mad. thank you for taking the time to listen and give me advice! i really appreciate it.

update!
just got home from the hospital with a fresh rejection letter waiting for me. this is from the referral by the kind gp i mentioned before. truly at my wits end :)

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

i call back two years later and i was never placed on the list in the first place. but they can re-book the original appointment and i can start the process all over again. yippee!! so that's the point i began to give up.

I had something like this happen at one point. It shouldn't be likely for it to happen/happen again though.

this team are the ones who keep rejecting the referrals

Do they say why? Can you get help some other way?

 

[fatigued]

I had something like this happen at one point. It shouldn't be likely for it to happen/happen again though.


Do they say why? Can you get help some other way?

i don't know if i can wait another two years at this point.
the stated reason is always 'not meeting the criteria'. the only other option is going private and i don't know how extortionate that's gonna be.

 

[Celerity]

Is there any way for you to access online counseling or free group therapy? In the US, I got a lot out of attending Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACoA) meetings. Even without the program, it really helped to know that I was not alone.

 

[Maeve]

i'm not sure if you mean by the hospital doc or the gp?
the gp asked me a few simple questions (rating my mood from 1-10, am i going to harm myself or others, do i have a plan, how long have i felt this way, etc) which i answered honestly except for the have a plan for the same reasons you said. the hospital doc took just fixated on me saying i experience pain (i have fibromyalgia) and basically decided that that was the sole cause of my low mood, hence the discharge. he actually didn't even ask me if i have any more plans at all (???), i definitely would have considered saying yes if he had.

i have been taken to the hospital for suicidal ideation before, several years ago now. i had a detailed plan… they discharged me in less than 4 hours and made me a follow-up appointment a week later. in that appointment some nurses assessed me, then put me on a waiting list to be seen. they told me it could take up to two years. i say fine and suck it up because at least i'm on the list, right? i call back two years later and i was never placed on the list in the first place. but they can re-book the original appointment and i can start the process all over again. yippee!! so that's the point i began to give up.

all that was the whole reason i felt i had to take more drastic action, but it looks like it will get me squarely nowhere.

thank you, but i don't mind talking about my experiences publicly! maybe there's someone experiencing similar who can be reassured that they're not going mad. thank you for taking the time to listen and give me advice! i really appreciate it.

update!
just got home from the hospital with a fresh rejection letter waiting for me. this is from the referral by the kind gp i mentioned before. truly at my wits end :)

This is fuuucked

 

[Ambivalent1]

To tell your brain you tried

 

[fatigued]

Is there any way for you to access online counseling or free group therapy? In the US, I got a lot out of attending Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACoA) meetings. Even without the program, it really helped to know that I was not alone.

i've tried countless different talking therapies and a couple of groups. they just don't seem to help me. but never in nearly 10 years have been evaluated by a psychiatrist. i really feel like a thorough evaluation and proper diagnosis of whatever the fuck is going on will help me. i can't see how i can tackle the problem if i don't even really know what it is.

This is fuuucked

yeah. and the hospital doctor couldn't stop telling me to just stay positive. i'm not a violent person but i could've wrung his neck every time he kept repeating it.

To tell your brain you tried

and then what?

 

[CTB2023]

What type of help are you hoping to get and why?

Psychiatry isn't the ultimate solution. In terms of direct help it's probably most useful for specific types of situations like in people who are in a depressive state that doesn't allow them to overcome their depression/function, schizophrenics, etc. If your life is a mess it doesn't necessarily mean psychiatry is the appropriate help or can be used to help you progress. There's also a lot of trouble in that world. Not all doctors are equal, I have a feeling it's good you haven't been treated by a public healthcare psychiatrist as there are some terrible doctors out there (although I don't know what's the situation like in the UK I can't imagine it's different from anywhere else in the world in this regard). In this aspect it's probably best to go to a private practitioner because you could choose who treats you and you have the ability to consult with previous patients and research that particular provider before starting treatment.

I have a feeling that most mental health services are useless for aiding in improving people's lives except in certain cases. So much terrible shit in that world it's sometimes better to never even get involved in it. Especially getting on medication, you can get some nasty man-made illnesses, the attitude towards prescribing certain drugs are absolutely horrible with the majority of doctors. Psychologists/psychiatrists can cause you a lot of harm, often times they are not ideally healthy themselves and so they bring their patients down to them when they improve. All the infantilizing in the mental health world is also quite degrading, and the fact that males are often treated with the same professional attitude as females even though the things which they experience satisfaction from in life and need in order to have confidence in-themselves are different.

 

[fatigued]

What type of help are you hoping to get and why?

Psychiatry isn't the ultimate solution. In terms of direct help it's probably most useful for specific types of situations like in people who are in a depressive state that doesn't allow them to overcome their depression/function, schizophrenics, etc. If your life is a mess it doesn't necessarily mean psychiatry is the appropriate help or can be used to help you progress. There's also a lot of trouble in that world. Not all doctors are equal, I have a feeling it's good you haven't been treated by a public healthcare psychiatrist as there are some terrible doctors out there (although I don't know what's the situation like in the UK I can't imagine it's different from anywhere else in the world in this regard). In this aspect it's probably best to go to a private practitioner because you could choose who treats you and you have the ability to consult with previous patients and research that particular provider before starting treatment.

I have a feeling that most mental health services are useless for aiding in improving people's lives except in certain cases. So much terrible shit in that world it's sometimes better to never even get involved in it. Especially getting on medication, you can get some nasty man-made illnesses, the attitude towards prescribing certain drugs are absolutely horrible with the majority of doctors. Psychologists/psychiatrists can cause you a lot of harm, often times they are not ideally healthy themselves and so they bring their patients down to them when they improve. All the infantilizing in the mental health world is also quite degrading, and the fact that males are often treated with the same professional attitude as females even though the things which they experience satisfaction from in life and need in order to have confidence in-themselves are different.

I was happy to engage with and respond to you up until that last comment. Of course men and women are going to be treated with the same professional attitude. Please don't comment further.

 

[iwantdeath6969]

this is exactly the same type of thing that's been happening to me in canada. i only just recently got into a therapy program after going to the hospital twice, being sent home both times with nothing, and being put on waitlists just to be told i'm too intense for what they can do, etc, etc, i really feel your pain. i think all you can do is luck into speaking with someone who actually cares and gets you real help. i have met a few people who have genuinely tried hard to help me find resources, i hope you find someone like that too.

 

[fatigued]

i'm just going to add to this thread like it's a journal, if that's allowed.

i finally had a follow up meeting at the place where they keep rejecting me. the guy i spoke to was nice but the meeting wasn't really anything more than checking if i was in immediate danger. they then scheduled an actual assessment (for the end of the week) that is supposed to go in depth. i'm really dreading it, even though it's what i asked for on the first place. all i can think of is every other time i haven't been heard, passed off to someone else or just straight up lied to.

my skin has been crawling and itching relentlessly whenever i try to relax or sleep for over a week, at basically any time my mind is not 100% occupied. i think this is anxiety about the upcoming appointment, although it technically could be liver damage from my OD. i'm leaning more towards it being mental though, because it's not all the time. this has meant i've only been able to sleep once pushed to near exhaustion, which obviously isn't great. i went back to the gp with this, and they've prescribed me low dose amitriptyline. i'm somewhat concerned about taking this as i've heard a lot of horror stories… but i'm also pretty desperate for some decent sleep.

in short, i'm not a lot further forward… but i am still here. so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this is exactly the same type of thing that's been happening to me in canada. i only just recently got into a therapy program after going to the hospital twice, being sent home both times with nothing, and being put on waitlists just to be told i'm too intense for what they can do, etc, etc, i really feel your pain. i think all you can do is luck into speaking with someone who actually cares and gets you real help. i have met a few people who have genuinely tried hard to help me find resources, i hope you find someone like that too.

thank you, i'm really hoping for something like that too. wishing you all the best in your recovery!

 

[Alltheywanted]

I just hope there is a point in recovering. Also it'll be easier to finally CTB if i can tell myself that i did everything I could to be saved.

 

[flyingrabbitt]

Honestly if you can go privately I'd really recommend it. Not sure if you're in the UK but if you are our MH services are so horribly underfunded it's not even worth fighting them. I've been in an out of CAMHS since I was 12 and got absolutely nothing out of it, I'm 18 now and able to afford private therapy which is honestly the best thing I've ever done.

 

[fatigued]

Honestly if you can go privately I'd really recommend it. Not sure if you're in the UK but if you are our MH services are so horribly underfunded it's not even worth fighting them. I've been in an out of CAMHS since I was 12 and got absolutely nothing out of it, I'm 18 now and able to afford private therapy which is honestly the best thing I've ever done.

it's definitely something i'm considering if this next step doesn't work out. in a really similar situation wrt to camhs, i started with them when i was about 14. i've truly never met people less interested in doing their jobs than in that service.
when it comes to private, i hate having to spend money on myself. obviously that's just a personal hurdle I'm probably going to have to get over though.