Venting What's the point if I can't feel anything?

[Tionally]

I haven't always been like this. I remember being happy, angry or afraid as a kid but nowadays I just feel empty and maybe kinda sad sometimes. I think it started when I was around 13 and it progressed over the next few years. Now I'm 19 and I barely feel anything. No matter what I do my emotions stay the same. It's not like I have a terrible life but being alone at home feels kinda the same as having fun outside with my friends. After a while everything started feeling pointless because I can't get the same satisfaction I once got out of anything. I stopped feelings empathy towards others but I also can't hate anyone now. Even if someone did something to me I just don't really care about it. Obviously I make the logical choice and take action and stop being friends with them or smth (depending on the situation) but it's not like I really feel angry about it. I feel like nothing matters anymore because I can't fully expierience it.

 

[Grimpoteuthis]

You are not alone and I have anhedonia as well. Life is great (at least objectively speaking) and I am young with lots of opportunities, yet I threw everything others here might have dreamed for away simply because I no longer get any emotional feedback from my past interests or interaction with others. I used to lament all the miseries but now I am absolutely apathetic towards everything and everyone. I have tried exploring new interests, going outside more, making new friends, etc. and my patience is completely exhausted at this point.

Some people decide to stay alive because they are still feeling love or desire to be loved, but love became an entirely foreign concept to me. Same thing goes for the desire of death. What is the point to die if I am indifferent to existing and non existing?

 

[Tionally]

What is the point to die if I am indifferent to existing and non existing?

I had the same mindset before. I didn't want to die cause it wouldn't matter if I'm alive or not. Either way I would be experiencing the same amount of feelings. Dying felt like an unnecessary hassle because I would need to find a method and commit to it (and besides I still feel pain and obviously don't like it so many methods wouldn't be preferred).
But recently dying seemed like a better option. Living requires me to do things: I have to find a university now, pick a career etc. I don't have motivation to do any of those things. Death seems easier because I wouldn't have to try at all. I simply wouldn't exist. Idk maybe I'm just lazy.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Sounds like anhedonia. I'm suffering from the same thing.
I don't feel emotions like I used to and definitely don't feel pleasure in anything anymore.
It's as though the volume of my emotions has been turned down to zero, and everything appears lifeless and meaningless.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's truly awful.

 

[am1485]

I have anhedonia as well. I can't feel pleasure anymore or exhilaration, anger, or depression I just feel nothing most of the time. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I understand how much it sucks. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

 

[Daft-Bear]

Somewhere along the way, I sort of checked out due to necessity. But I think I checked out too long and I don't know how to feel anything anymore. As weird as this sounds, Tabacco provides some relief for me. Also running.

That being said, most of my day is in an anhedonic state. i live life philosophically, intellectually, and analytically because I'm emotionally dampened. Being a male and having society demonize you for feeling anything definitely doesn't help. But I've found some relief in academics.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's a tough spot to be in.

 

[MrDarkness]

I feel the same, now that I'm done with school, being home all the makes me enjoy nothing. I feel empty, just sad and empty