Discussion What's the difference between not wanting to die and SI?

[KillingPain267]

Like, I have high SI but if I knew my heart would stop tonight and I drift away from hypoxia, I would be happy and get exactly what I want: death.

 

[indefinitesleep2]

its unique to everyone, my SI sometimes gaslights me that I dont want to die but I definitely do

 

[Forever Sleep]

To me, I feel like SI is a knee jerk reaction from the body when it knows it's in danger. I've never attempted so, I don't know what mine will be like. I've been scared in situations I found threatening though, so, I guess that's the closest. Not sure my SI enters my thought process around the idea of suicide (the concept of suicide rather than the process of carrying it out.) Passive ideation usually feels pretty nice and reassuring- as in- one day, this will all be over.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

Not wanting to die is a personal belief with reasoning behind it.

SI is just a primal animal instinct.

 

[Edpal247]

It's shear instinct - your body doesn't want to die. Even if your brain does. Which is why people who want to CTB seek out fail-proof methods they can't back out of.

 

[Scattered-Soul]

The SI is an instinct so it's almost like your body acts on its own without you being able to control it. For example, during some of my hanging attempt I'd get pretty close but then SI would kick in and it'd do everything it is power to save me even though I desperately wanted to die. Once you're safe again you feel frustrated and want to try to CTB again but once you get close, the SI kicks in once more. While not wanting to die is well, not wanting to die.