willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,862
i've always wanted to become a nicu nurse and get married, but i won't be here long enough to do so
MephistoJustBeneath
Member
- May 21, 2020
- 24
release music. I went to school for it and everything, but now I don't have the creativity or motivation to work on it and I plan to be gone by the end of this year, so it's safe to say that none of my ideas will ever see the light of day.
Become a writer and/or dabble in filmmaking. I was so creative and full of ideas and still find myself daydreaming of my fictional worlds but a late diagnosed medical condition I've had since adolescence decided to laugh at me and piss all over my dreams. Technically, I can still make an attempt but I can't be bothered to have false hope and make an effort to try since the drive just isn't there anymore. It breaks my heart to think of the things I won't do and the legacy I won't leave behind but it was a long shot anyway and besides, when I'm dead I won't care. Eventually, the human race will cease to exist anyway and nothing anyone did will have mattered.
pentobarbitaldreams
Member
- Jun 11, 2020
- 77
I've always wanted to become a teacher and make a positive impact on people's life. Instead I have schizophrenia and my brain is useless.
Sad_Autistic_boy_101
When I die, you'll love me.
- Nov 19, 2019
- 453
Experience a sexual relationship or just feel relaxed or at peace. I mean CTB will do the being at peace part but I won't experience having someone love me.
rikamonie
Experienced
- Jun 3, 2020
- 290
i know u said one thing but unfortunately i am so young there is too many things..
- Get married to my at the time girlfriend
- move in with her
- buy a house
- get my driving license
- own a zoo full of animals (lizards mostly)
- have my 21st birthday
- own a hottub
- visit south korea
- visit japan
- go to a comiccon in america
- learn an instrument
- tattoo all of my limbs fully (sleeves, legs)
thats all i can think of.. but i really had alot i wanted to do
- Get married to my at the time girlfriend
- move in with her
- buy a house
- get my driving license
- own a zoo full of animals (lizards mostly)
- have my 21st birthday
- own a hottub
- visit south korea
- visit japan
- go to a comiccon in america
- learn an instrument
- tattoo all of my limbs fully (sleeves, legs)
thats all i can think of.. but i really had alot i wanted to do
Lost in a Dream
He/him - Metal head
- Feb 22, 2020
- 1,744
I always wanted to write sci-fi and horror novels like Stephen King, but I always seems to run into the problem of not being able to finish working on any of the shit I've started. It's either because life gets busy and I don't have time, or life tries to take a shit on me and I become so depressed that I have no interest in it anymore. I'm certain that I'll CTB before anything like that happens.
notuntilperfection
Member
- Apr 3, 2020
- 25
Become a professional dancer. Adopt children.
Have children with my husband that we always talked about and see our grandkids
Wow this is the first time I've written anything in this website but the things you want to accomplish are almost the exact same as mine.. I hope we both get to do them before we go (:
ChoclateIsSweet
ChocolateIsSweet
- Mar 24, 2020
- 65
Me and my friends made plans to travel Asia and Europe after we all graduate. If I become a ghost then maybe I can join them.
My friend your in a lot of pain, it's not you though remember that. The world doesn't understand and I doubt they ever will, its impossible for those who've never experienced the personal hell and torment that life is most of the time. But you need to keep it together as best as possible. Because whatever you decide to do, you won't be judged here, just dont act impulsively please, its always a mistake in these dark times.Nothing. Nothing at all. I've never wanted to do/learn/achieve anything in life, and never will. Never had (and never will, and I have no intention at all to have any of those things) any hobbies, any interests, any passions, any hopes, any ambitions/wishes, any goals, any dreams, any aspirations nor any other things like that that I'm supposed to have. I don't have any of that and i dont want to, and never will. I dont even understand why I have to have those things in the first place... For this society Im "broken", "empty" and "boring" and I couldnt care less, I have no problem at all being empty or whatever, its just my perspective on life and itll never change. Im 21 and have no shame at all to say this, im comfortsble being how i am but infronte of people i have to act right the opposite.... I just dont understand why I have to be interested in life, its something i just cant comprehend... People are so brainwashed with the inculcated idea that everyone wants to live life that its being a bit hard for me to write this even in a website that is not pro-life. I know none of you will take me seriously but well... I jsut needed to vent... Im sorry... My parents force me to all this and it hurts so much, I feel so trapped here in this prison called life, its so hard to keep up not wanting to, but have no choice and it hurts... And its so hard to ctb, its so unfair... WHAT IF TO DIE IS ALL I WANT TO? sigh... Life is such a prison, an obligated-to-do /obligsted-to-want prison... it hurts to not have any way out of this life/world... Having to be faking and pretending I want to live life and that i care about it all the time (when in reality is just the opposite) to please them f*cking hurts. I dont want to have a "good/happy/healthy/simple" life, why do I have to want to? I dont want to have any type of life at all, for f*** sake.... I dont want to participate in lifeI know most of you (if not all) will be thinking that it's just depression and an "apathy phase" and let me say no. Its not a phase, its not a mental illness, its just my perspective on life and it'll never change nor I'll ever plan to change it, ew. I have severe depression and anxiety,but its because I just dont want to live/do/experience life and I couldnt care less about this thing and it hurts me so much that Im forced to want it yes or yes... It hurts that Im even expected to be "grateful" that I was given a life and that was brought into this thing called life, what if I just dont want this at all, no matter how the f*** it is? Sigh... It hurts that just because I was born (without my f*cking consent
going to sound silly, but some of the most simplest life shit that i wish i could do, that comes effortlessly to other people seems like climbing mount everest to me, one of them is having a girlfriend and being in a relationship and the other is owning a car and going on road trips or even having a group of friends to do that with..
Midgardsorm
Paragon
- Apr 28, 2020
- 918
@itsromz Understandable. Having a girlfriend is very difficult. Some people just do it, you try to think "But they were ..." And stop there. They were what? Sometimes you just think you did everything you could, you were not loved because you were ...well, you.
That's what I feel too.
That's what I feel too.
FluffyDove
Experienced
- May 11, 2020
- 218
Decorate a nursery for my baby
Sensei
剣道家
- Nov 4, 2019
- 6,336
i feel like for some people having a companion is like eating,sleeping,breathing etc they don't need to think about it, its just something they were born with the capiblity of doing, i on the other hand ....have made it into a difficult task....sigh..i dont know why im not like others...why i can't be in the presence of others and just be calm..
Midgardsorm
Paragon
- Apr 28, 2020
- 918
@itsromz And then you start to believe that you need to learn things first. You read, You train hard, Your improve everything you think it will help.
And then when you talk to people, they might call you "wise", "intelligent" but that's you were not trying to be that.
You're just trying to be just like them.
A person that can love and be loved. A person that have a companion.
And then when you talk to people, they might call you "wise", "intelligent" but that's you were not trying to be that.
You're just trying to be just like them.
A person that can love and be loved. A person that have a companion.
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I wanted to find love. To travel the world. To stick up for myself when shit hit the fan. But none of that can happen now or in the foreseeable future anyway. Im already in hell and if there's an afterlife after I CTB I envision it will be my soul finally being able to travel on its own. So at least I'll be crossing off the third checkbox as I leave.
Nightwillalwayswin
Member
- May 3, 2020
- 84
4giveme
Member
- May 23, 2020
- 18
Travel the world with the love of my life, get married and have kids aswell!
Throwawaysoul
Wizard
- May 14, 2018
- 605
Live somewhere besides the US. I realize it won't fix me but it doesn't hurt to try.
Turn my life around and live the life I really want.
See the rest of the world
LSD
Heroic dose of mushrooms
DMT
Be happy
Be pain free
Have kids
LSD
Heroic dose of mushrooms
DMT
Be happy
Be pain free
Have kids
SpottedPanda
I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
- Jul 24, 2019
- 612
Travel to Peru and take the ayahuasca brew (DMT). Hopefully my brain will give me one last trip as I'm passing.
Um I'm not sure travel would be straightforward for a spirit (providing we even have one) but I dont know what exactly you mean, do you wish to haunt your friends is that what you mean?
virginiawoolf86
Specialist
- Jul 4, 2020
- 317
Seeing my nephew grow up.
Exploring all the national parks.
Goat yoga.
Getting married.
Having a sanctuary for animals that can't be adopted.
Exploring all the national parks.
Goat yoga.
Getting married.
Having a sanctuary for animals that can't be adopted.
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Despondent
Archangel
- Dec 20, 2019
- 6,777
I've always wanted a job in the science field to somehow help others mentally, physically, and even neurologically. Lately I've had this deep desire to really understand what it is that others are going through because I want to help them in every way that I can. I know how it feels to hurt and I've also had issues with existence alone from a very young age. I don't want others to feel the same way as I do and when I say I truly want to help others, that's all I've ever wanted.
