I read in one of the comment threads here that survival instinct is actually triggered by pain, not death itself. This makes a lot of sense to me. I've changed my mind at the last second many times over the years either because it physically hurt too much, because of the consequences of failing, or because of how long the method would take to do its thing and the likelihood that I'd rethink things while I waited, like with a Tylenol overdose, and if I'd asked around I could have probably found some heroin or something but I had no idea until my 30s how to actually administer it.
Carbon monoxide and exit bag methods don't frighten me at all, and with the exit bag having a much higher chance of success, I'll likely use this method if my drive to get off this planet takes over again. I'm hoping to get myself and my affairs sorted to see if I can avoid it altogether, hence the small fortune I spend on therapy.
Honestly when I'm in my right mind I'm not suicidal. When I am it's like I'm under a spell and who/whatever has possessed me takes over my thoughts and directs them without me. I got on here because I was locked in several days ago, then PMS came to a close but since then I'm still switching back and forth but with much less intensity. Not being taken over in that way, like maybe it's just residual. It can also happen if something triggers a bad flashback. This particular time was a combination. Fun times.
What is it like for you? Do you feel like yourself or do you feel like your mind is being driven?
Carbon monoxide and exit bag methods don't frighten me at all, and with the exit bag having a much higher chance of success, I'll likely use this method if my drive to get off this planet takes over again. I'm hoping to get myself and my affairs sorted to see if I can avoid it altogether, hence the small fortune I spend on therapy.
Honestly when I'm in my right mind I'm not suicidal. When I am it's like I'm under a spell and who/whatever has possessed me takes over my thoughts and directs them without me. I got on here because I was locked in several days ago, then PMS came to a close but since then I'm still switching back and forth but with much less intensity. Not being taken over in that way, like maybe it's just residual. It can also happen if something triggers a bad flashback. This particular time was a combination. Fun times.
What is it like for you? Do you feel like yourself or do you feel like your mind is being driven?
