whats better, vanishing or having your body found by family or friends?

[neveraskedforthis]

Honestly, i think im wandering off to some nice forest to never be seen again. its better than friends,family having to deal with your body.

 

[I’mDone]

Same. Once the lockdown is over I'm thinking of taking a trip to somewhere with large forested areas and hiding myself away then ctb.

 

[MeriDeath]

Vanishing. But it doesn't matter since I know my corpse will be found. I'm planning on a hotel room since where I live there aren't any large forests.

 

[Oyoy]

I would rather be found. Having hope when there is none seems like a nightmare from hell.

 

[neveraskedforthis]

Vanishing. But it doesn't matter since I know my corpse will be found. I'm planning on a hotel room since where I live there aren't any large forests.

I have been thinking about the black forest in Germany, its so massive, chances of you being found soon are small there. that is if you wander off the trails far enough ofcourse

I would rather be found. Having hope when there is none seems like a nightmare from hell.

do you mean, when people are worrying about you when you are already gone? I see that, i wouldnt wish that on anyone that cares about me, they just dont deserve that. But wouldnt seeing somebody you love dead make you sadder? idk its difficult for me

 

[moonchild]

I would much rather be found, mostly because I don't want my corpse to decompose like that, which is also why I want to be cremated.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Honestly, i think im wandering off to some nice forest to never be seen again. its better than friends,family having to deal with your body.

No it´s not, not if your family loves you I see these threads all the time but in reality your family will spend all their money looking for you untill they go bankrupt because they still have a hope you are out there possibly kidnapped.

So would you just stop with these threads and think rationally about it, if one of your family members you love suddenly disappeared one day would you feel comfortable and at peace with that or would you be worried that they might have been kidnapped and are being tortured until you find them?

 

[neveraskedforthis]

I would much rather be found, mostly because I don't want my corpse to decompose like that, which is also why I want to be cremated.

to everyone their own, to me it's rather comforting to know ill go like pretty much all other (wild) animals except for humans. ive never fit into this society, and even my death will be against all norms

No it´s not, not if your family loves you I see these threads all the time but in reality your family will spend all their money looking for you untill they go bankrupt because they still have a hope you are out there possibly kidnapped.

So would you just stop with these threads and think rationally about it, if one of your family members you love suddenly disappeared one day would you feel comfortable and at peace with that or would you be worried that they might have been kidnapped and are being tortured until you find them?

Tbh, this changed my view on this instantly. Nobody deserves such torture. Having somebody just dissapear would indeed be a nightmare, even if they leave a message behind. thanks

 

[KiraComplex]

i cant imagine what my parents would go through. closure is better than thinking your daughter is kidnapped. id much rather die and be found.

 

[neveraskedforthis]

i cant imagine what my parents would go through. closure is better than thinking your daughter is kidnapped. id much rather die and be found.

yeah thank you for your input! i just read some cases of missing persons, and all the people that are left behind are talking about how horrible it is,not knowing what happened to somebody and where he is

No it´s not, not if your family loves you I see these threads all the time but in reality your family will spend all their money looking for you untill they go bankrupt because they still have a hope you are out there possibly kidnapped.

So would you just stop with these threads and think rationally about it, if one of your family members you love suddenly disappeared one day would you feel comfortable and at peace with that or would you be worried that they might have been kidnapped and are being tortured until you find them?

although i want to say one thing, not to say suicides arent horrible for everyone left behind. But i think they more often than not, do not come as a surprise. The pain of losing someone to suicide must be immense, but its pretty common there where (subtle) warning signs. I agree with everything you said, but the 'suddenly' part.

 

[moonchild]

to everyone their own, to me it's rather comforting to know ill go like pretty much all other (wild) animals except for humans. ive never fit into this society, and even my death will be against all norms

Absolutely, we all have different preferences. :) I do see the appeal in that though, like "returning to nature" in a way, and I did consider it at one point. But I guess over the years I've kind of turned to preferring the minimal mess of just being turned into ash.

 

[neveraskedforthis]

Absolutely, we all have different preferences. :) I do see the appeal in that though, like "returning to nature" in a way, and I did consider it at one point. But I guess over the years I've kind of turned to preferring the minimal mess of just being turned into ash.

Does the 'missing' part also play a role for you? Like, do you want there to be closure for your family?

 

[Kumachan]

At this point i dont even care, just wanna get the fuck outta here

 

[moonchild]

Does the 'missing' part also play a role for you? Like, do you want there to be closure for your family?

Definitely, but it's mostly about not wanting to be a bother and not wanting the attention. Like it stresses me out that there would be people looking for me, and that it would become a bigger deal than necessary. Not that I think there's anything wrong with it, because either it's their job and they get paid for it, or they're volunteers. Also not saying me going missing would be national news lol, but it would definitely be a more quiet affair if I could just be found shortly after.

 

[brood]

Certainly want to be found. Family and friends need closure.

 

[_Minsk]

i dont see whats wrong with ctb in nature without being found. if family members already know you've been suicidal or at least depressed for a good amount of time, you have left a note to explain why you want to leave this place, its absolutely okay to me

 

[neveraskedforthis]

Definitely, but it's mostly about not wanting to be a bother and not wanting the attention. Like it stresses me out that there would be people looking for me, and that it would become a bigger deal than necessary. Not that I think there's anything wrong with it, because either it's their job and they get paid for it, or they're volunteers. Also not saying me going missing would be national news lol, but it would definitely be a more quiet affair if I could just be found shortly after.

Understandable, vanishing would definitely attract more attention than necessary. When someone dies it will always be a big deal though, so just checking out like that without wanting (much) attention would probably be impossible.

 

[I’mDone]

I would rather be found. Having hope when there is none seems like a nightmare from hell.

If you leave a clear enough note, that should not be a problem

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Tbh, this changed my view on this instantly. Nobody deserves such torture. Having somebody just dissapear would indeed be a nightmare, even if they leave a message behind. thanks

Thanks for acknowledging it although I would have prefered you have made and "EDIT:" because the way I answered was to your original post not how you changed it.

But for the new thread I still think it´s better for the family to find you rather than thinking you are being locked up by a serial killer because as I stated other families has spend all the money and sold their house to aid in finding their child so yours would too.

But it would be preferable that you ctb a place where a stranger will find your body and not your parents.

 

[Jumper Geo]

In the UK I watched documentaries on the moors murderers Ian Brady and Myra Hindley and the impact they had on the missing children's family, the heartbreak of not being able to bury there loved ones not knowing where they are, I think you need to watch the grief and despair on the family's face knowing they will never know where there loved ones were dumped.

At least when you die you are buried, the family grieve and have a chance to move on with life, if you are missing they will always live with the hope of being found or returning one day so it's like slow torture for them.

Hope this helps if you need more info I'm happy to answer or check out YouTube for missing people or abductions.

Cheers

Geo

 

[moonchild]

Understandable, vanishing would definitely attract more attention than necessary. When someone dies it will always be a big deal though, so just checking out like that without wanting (much) attention would probably be impossible.

You're definitely right about that. I'm just going to do what I can to minimise it.

 

[neveraskedforthis]

In the UK I watched documentaries on the moors murderers Ian Brady and Myra Hindley and the impact they had on the missing children's family, the heartbreak of not being able to bury there loved ones not knowing where they are, I think you need to watch the grief and despair on the family's face knowing they will never know where there loved ones were dumped.

At least when you die you are buried, the family grieve and have a chance to move on with life, if you are missing they will always live with the hope of being found or returning one day so it's like slow torture for them.

Hope this helps if you need more info I'm happy to answer or check out YouTube for missing people or abductions.

Cheers

Geo

Yeah i made my mind up about this, its just cruel to do. A heartbreak it will always be, especially when a child dies by suicide, but indeed not knowing what happened is a nightmare. If i am going to ctb, i might aswell take it as easy as possible on the people i leave behind. Thank you for the response!

 

[ssaaahmo]

I would want to hide and then be found. I almost drowned myself in a former friend's pool and my note said "come find me, it's a game of hide and seek."

 

[autumnal]

Honestly, i think im wandering off to some nice forest to never be seen again. its better than friends,family having to deal with your body.

Personally, I think that those left behind would much rather the certainty and closure of knowing you died (and even knowing you suicided) over the mystery of you just vanishing. With vanishing, there is always the futile hope that you may return one day, or the fear that you were kidnapped or murdered, or any other number of scenarios. It's also more complex for them to get any legal or financial closure if your body is never found.

This is just a personal theory, but sometimes I wonder whether people like the idea of just vanishing because they can't face the accountability for their actions that would come with a known suicide. Obviously after death they wouldn't actually face the reactions of those left behind. But as a theoretical concept, perhaps imagining those reactions is very confronting for people and so they wish to avoid it by just vanishing and ending their lives in mystery. But just because it seems like a better option from your end, doesn't mean it is the most beneficial for those left behind.

 

[neveraskedforthis]

Personally, I think that those left behind would much rather the certainty and closure of knowing you died (and even knowing you suicided) over the mystery of you just vanishing. With vanishing, there is always the futile hope that you may return one day, or the fear that you were kidnapped or murdered, or any other number of scenarios. It's also more complex for them to get any legal or financial closure if your body is never found.

This is just a personal theory, but sometimes I wonder whether people like the idea of just vanishing because they can't face the accountability for their actions that would come with a known suicide. Obviously after death they wouldn't actually face the reactions of those left behind. But as a theoretical concept, perhaps imagining those reactions is very confronting for people and so they wish to avoid it by just vanishing and ending their lives in mystery. But just because it seems like a better option from your end, doesn't mean it is the most beneficial for those left behind.

Yeah, when it comes to suicide you should think about not making it too hard for everyone that cares about you. I do think that the stigma surrounding suicide can lead to a person just 'vanishing' and leaving nothing behind but a note. Making suicide a taboo or stigmatizing it can lead to such events.

 

[Bct]

I also want to vanish yet still leaving notes so people know I'm dying, but after looking at other's posts, most likely (at least) my family is still trying to find my body even though we're not that close.

 

[neveraskedforthis]

I also want to vanish yet still leaving notes so people know I'm dying, but after looking at other's posts, most likely (at least) my family is still trying to find my body even though we're not that close.

You know, vanishing would be more comfortable for the person that commits suicide ofcourse. But i think i made my mind up. When it comes to suicide its not about ME, its about all the people that knew me that will have to deal with this and will question themselves what they could have done. I will at least make it easy for them to find out what happened, and give them a chance to say goodbye (who would want that but anyways). I am not going to make it a bigger deal than it is. The comments on my post really changed my mind its cliche i know.

 

[Bct]

You know, vanishing would be more comfortable for the person that commits suicide ofcourse. But i think i made my mind up. When it comes to suicide its not about ME, its about all the people that knew me that will have to deal with this and will question themselves what they could have done. I will at least make it easy for them to find out what happened, and give them a chance to say goodbye (who would want that but anyways). I am not going to make it a bigger deal than it is. The comments on my post really changed my mind its cliche i know.

The bolded part really hits me, LOL. Wish I would also vanish from people's memories but sadly life doesn't work that way.

I agree my mind was also changed after reading some posts on this thread.

I may not close with my family, but they deserve a definite closure so they don't have to expend resources (time, money, etc.) just for finding my dead body.

 

[LMLN]

I cannot allow my family to suffer even more wondering if I'm alive or not. I will have to let them know where to find my body.

 

[neveraskedforthis]

The bolded part really hits me, LOL. Wish I would also vanish from people's memories but sadly life doesn't work that way.

I agree my mind was also changed after reading some posts on this thread.

I may not close with my family, but they deserve a definite closure so they don't have to expend resources (time, money, etc.) just for finding my dead body.

Yeah, ive come to terms with the fact that i, as a human have responsibilities and i cant just think about myself when ending it. It was probably a very stupid thought of me to think i could just wander off.