Discussion What would you do if someone was going to CTB in front of you?

[Uninfluential_Karma]

I was listening to a song about this and I started wondering what the people on here would do in a situation like this.

 

[maynoname]

I will really understand her. But i can't do nothing and be responsible of the death of someone else. Even if I was in this situation I hope no one would help me.

 

[11April]

I would try to unobtrusively offer the person some solutions to the problem, if there were any. If that didn't help, I would just wish him good luck and a painless exit. And I wouldn't bother him.

 

[PinballWizard39]

Had this same situation happen to me this morning. My best friend drank ethylene glycol for the 3rd time. I had to try keep her on a video call with me whilst trying to alert the emergency service and her crisis team. Trying to get some information as to how much she drank, what times etc, is really difficult when they are half out of it. I'm 25 miles away from her too, so I couldn't even get to her. It ended in a blue light and siren ambulance and them kicking her door down to get to her.
I don't know if she will survive yet because like I said, she's done it before and has extensive damage, so much so, that even if she just drank a little this time, it could just be enough to kill her.

This sounds really awful. There was a point where I was talking to her and wondered if I should stay quiet and let her do what she obviously wants. She has extensive damage from years of suicide attempts. Because the services are so terrible, I get how she feels because I feel it to. My thinking was, she really wants out and if I save her, she'll have to go back through the system that just treats you like shit. On the other hand, I couldn't do nothing and just watch her get more and more ill.
I am very angry with her crisis team though as my friend told them Yesterday she had the means and that she was planning to do it. They did nothing but tell her they are discharging her from the services next week. They called me back a bit later to check I was ok after my friend 'putting' on me.Shes not putting anything on me and tbh, if you did your job in the first instance, I wouldn't have to pick up the god damn pieces.

Anyway, sorry for the rant!

 

[CatLvr]

I don't think I could do nothing.

@PinballWizard39 My heart breaks for you. I believe your friend wants to go, but also is afraid. Thank you for taking care of her. She is lucky to have you. (And yes, that was a terrible thing for her crisis team to say to you! )

 

[Uninfluential_Karma]

Had this same situation happen to me this morning. My best friend drank ethylene glycol for the 3rd time. I had to try keep her on a video call with me whilst trying to alert the emergency service and her crisis team. Trying to get some information as to how much she drank, what times etc, is really difficult when they are half out of it. I'm 25 miles away from her too, so I couldn't even get to her. It ended in a blue light and siren ambulance and them kicking her door down to get to her.
I don't know if she will survive yet because like I said, she's done it before and has extensive damage, so much so, that even if she just drank a little this time, it could just be enough to kill her.

This sounds really awful. There was a point where I was talking to her and wondered if I should stay quiet and let her do what she obviously wants. She has extensive damage from years of suicide attempts. Because the services are so terrible, I get how she feels because I feel it to. My thinking was, she really wants out and if I save her, she'll have to go back through the system that just treats you like shit. On the other hand, I couldn't do nothing and just watch her get more and more ill.
I am very angry with her crisis team though as my friend told them Yesterday she had the means and that she was planning to do it. They did nothing but tell her they are discharging her from the services next week. They called me back a bit later to check I was ok after my friend 'putting' on me.Shes not putting anything on me and tbh, if you did your job in the first instance, I wouldn't have to pick up the god damn pieces.

Anyway, sorry for the rant!

I really hope your friend ends up ok-ish whatever happens! Her crisis team sounds terrible. I think you did the right thing and your thoughts also make sense to me.

 

[sserafim]

Depends on the person. For strangers, I'd do nothing/pretend not to notice

 

[hereornot]

I would do everything I could to stop it. If the person did it in front of me or I had knowledge, I wouldn't be able to live with it if I didn't do anything.

That's why I try to avoid anyone knowing about my plans. And it wouldn't cause trauma to anyone.

 

[Theresnoescape]

Honestly, I would offer them friendship and a chance to talk through things to make sure it's really what they want. If it is, then so be it, at least I'd be justified within myself that it's what they really want and that I'd tried my best for them.

 

[PinballWizard39]

I really hope your friend ends up ok-ish whatever happens! Her crisis team sounds terrible. I think you did the right thing and your thoughts also make sense to me.

I'm just waiting to call the hospital now to get an update on how she is. I really fear I could lose her.

I don't think I could do nothing.

@PinballWizard39 My heart breaks for you. I believe your friend wants to go, but also is afraid. Thank you for taking care of her. She is lucky to have you. (And yes, that was a terrible thing for her crisis team to say to you! )

She 100% wants to go. Not only has she tried this method, but she's also set herself on fire with petrol and very nearly leapt from a cliff into the see (the emergency services only just got to her in time. That only a few of the things she's done. In the last year alone, I've had to intervene on at least 3 occasions when it could have all be prevented if the mental health services actually did their jobs.

I just spoke with the hospital, she's really not well and see's barely coherent. She's in resus and apparently she keeps calling out for me (that's hard to hear because I can't be with her until at least tomorrow). She doesn't know where she is or why , and is agitated and upset. I asked the nurse if there's a chance she'll die and they said they aren't expecting it, but at the same time, the damage she already has and now this on top, might not be evident for a while. It's heartbreaking and I'm pretty much crying because I know that I am going to lose her at some point. Maybe not today, but at some point.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Likely ask them if they want to talk. It would be hypocritical of me to try and talk them down but I think giving them the option to talk would hopefully show someone gives a shit.

You have to kind of wonder why they've picked a time and location with people milling about. Do they want someone to intercede or, are they acting impulsively or under the influence? Why would you pick a time with people about?

Still, it would also feel weird if it was obvious this is what they wanted to just stand back and let them do it. I wonder if you could get in legal trouble for that. That would feel like the right thing to do though if they seemed sure.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think this can't be answered easily and such situations can become very complex(known/unknown person, private/public location). Someone's decision to want to die must be respected and has priority. I wouldn't interfere in an ongoing attempt bc this can lead to so much more suffering. However, if someone uses an unreliable method that most likely will fail with high risks of organ/brain damage I would call the ER. If a person wanted to talk I would offer to listen to them, probably tell them my opinion, try to help but if they decided to go on with the attempt then their decision has to be fully respected.

Still, it would also feel weird if it was obvious this is what they wanted to just stand back and let them do it. I wonder if you could get in legal trouble for that. That would feel like the right thing to do though if they seemed sure.

I think in most countries you can get into legal trouble if you do nothing.

 

[ThisIsMe1357]

I voted something else/not sure simply because I would first try to find out what was going on and whether this was impulsive suicide or not, which I think should be prevented.

If this was not an impulsive suicide, then I am not exactly sure what I would do. I might panic because there is a law in our country according to which you are required to provide help to the best of your abilities to anyone who might be in danger, so, for example, you have to call emergency services when you find someone on the ground who looks like they might have fainted. And I am not sure whether not offering help to someone who wants to die right in front of you counts as breaking this law or not.

 

[brokeandbroken]

If someone was literally right in front of me and was *going* to. I'd be concerned that I'd serve prison time if I did nothing so yeah I'd probably stop it via ems or myself for that reason.

End of the day no one has sympathy for me when I've been the victim of a crime. No one gives a fuck. I'm autistic and white. No one is going to stop and care if i am sent away on trumped up charges for a borderline crime. I'd have the book thrown at me. No judge is going to have compassion on me. They'd lock me up and throw away the key. No one would bat an eyelash. Who is going to fight for me? I think they'd find putting me in prison funny as fuck so for the lolz alone they'd do it.

 

[damienlerone03]

cheer them on is the craziest thing I saw

Personally I would help them and such for reasons already said in this thread.
Still absolutely flabbergasted with the cheer option

 

[Soupster]

I mean, as a compassionate person I couldn't live with myself if I didn't offer to help them. I would talk to them, try to reason with them, explore if this is a crisis in this moment that when it passes they could return to a place of happiness or if it is a well thought out, reasonable, cognizant plan. That said... I have no right to stop them unless they are trying to use me to ctb, and I would respect thier wishes.

I would not call emergency services on them unless they requested it, even if after talking they decided to walk away from it. I've seen the harm that can be done with forced 'treatment' and experienced it firsthand. I would not wish it on anyone... well maybe one or two people, but I digress. I would wholeheartedly help them connect with voluntary treatment resources if they wished, and if they felt they needed emergency services, help them obtain them.

cheer them on is the craziest thing I saw

Personally I would help them and such for reasons already said in this thread.
Still absolutely flabbergasted with the cheer option

Ya, I'm glad (so far at least) no one has chosen that option.

 

[N33dT0D13]

Chat with them, maybe I can calm them down, maybe we can die together.