What top 5 lies are you the most tired of hearing?

[Silent_cries]

Doesn't have to be in specific order, but pls clarify whether it is or not to prevent confusion!


Here is mine in order:

1. "you were never abused/it didn't happen, you're just overexxagerating because you're ill."
2. "Just give it some more time/just be patient, things will improve eventually."
3. "They probably didn't mean it that way, it just feels that way because of your mental ilness"
4. "They didn't mean to traumatize you, they were there to help you."
5. "Suicide isn't the solution because most people can get helped."

As someone who's a victim of abuse by the mental health system "were here to help you.", is definitely the most painful one though.

 

[1043169]

'Fake it until you make it.' 'Suicide is selfish.' And the biggest 'oh you can get through this you're strong'.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

#1. It gets better

As previously mentioned....
Suicide is selfish
Suicide isn't the solution

Political

The election was stolen
January 6th was tourists

 

[hail]

"other people have it worse" can fill in all 5 spots for me

 

[derpyderpins]

1. All forms of work is absolutely always slavery. Literal slavery. Exact same as being in chains.

2. If someone enjoys their life it's because they're stupid or brainwashed or "over-socialized" or lying

3. Anything suggesting someone's trauma is illegitimate because of its form

4. Men who complain about dating issues are necessarily part of the incel crowd, and conversely that women don't have their own unique challenges in modern dating

5. That healthy people choosing not to do anything with their life are only doing it because they're smarter than everyone, or that it's immoral to be part of a society, or any reason that generalizes everyone else. It's fine if that's how you want to live but it doesn't mean others are wrong for trying to build something.

 

[Kavka]

These are not the biggest lies, of course, but they make me roll my eyes like nothing else.

• What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
• Everything happens for a reason.
• You can be/do anything you want if you just try hard enough.
• What goes around comes around.
• The customer is always right.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

1. Adults are free
2. Suicide is always wrong no matter what
3. Work isn't modern day slavery
4. Life is beautiful for every human being
5. Being a neet is bad

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

1. I care about you
2. I love you
3. There's always hope
4. You're beautiful
5. Everything is going to be alright

 

[sserafim]

1. Adults are free
2. Suicide is always wrong no matter what
3. Work isn't modern day slavery
4. Life is beautiful for every human being
5. Being a neet is bad

Adults are not free. If anything, they're the opposite. I think that people have a hard time differentiating between independence and freedom, and usually confuse the two. Independence is responsibility, not freedom

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Tenacity will always bear fruit x5.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

1) I'm a good or even a kind person. (A lot of people confuse my fear of conflict with kindness. They also try to say the fact that I hate myself must mean I am actually really nice when really I just can't find it in me to hate most other people more)
2) I'm physically attractive or that any of my features are physically attractive (except for my height. I'll concede that 6 feet is above average even though I know many people who are taller).
3) I am intelligent (I know I'm not because I constantly make stupid mistakes all the time and I enjoy stupid things and I have stupid opinions and beliefs.)
4) I have so much potential (even if I did, I already wasted too much of my life at 30 years old. Any potential I still may have would only last me maybe like 10-15 more years anyway)
5) I deserve good things (no the fuck I don't.)

Maybe these aren't technically lies because they're usually coming from good intentions or simply being misinformed, but deep in my heart I know the truth. I know I'm so much worse than people think and the only people who could convince me otherwise rightfully don't care about me.

 

[jar-baby]

Independence is responsibility, not freedom

It's both.

 

[sserafim]

It's both.

That's just a lie that society fed you. There's no freedom in being a wageslave. You're a slave to the system for the rest of your life. True freedom is freedom from responsibilities

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Adults are not free. If anything, they're the opposite. I think that people have a hard time differentiating between independence and freedom, and usually confuse the two. Independence is responsibility, not freedom

Exactly. Independence isn't freedom at all. At best, it would be a tiny fraction of freedom by being free from controlling parents but this isn't equivalent to being free overall. And, besides, a lot of people can already do things on their own (small, trivial things of course) as they don't have controlling parents. Being free means being able to do whatever you want without any obligations to partake in an action that you don't want to do. Most people aren't free and never will be (until they are dead)

 

[permanently tired]

"Other people will be sad if you die"
I'm supposed to live for other people then? Ok.

 

[jar-baby]

There's no freedom in being a wageslave

When you're dependent on other people they're the ones who get to decide how you live. There's no freedom there.

I guess the question is how you define freedom. I don't know if anyone can be free in an absolute sense in life. But having an income enables you to control your overall circumstances to a significantly greater extent than you would be able to otherwise. It's reasonable that many people find the tradeoff that is wageslavery (as you put it) a worthwhile one.

You're a slave to the system

I'm choosing to be a slave to the system over being a slave to my parents' rules and demands. Not saying that it's objectively the right decision. But with this logic, one's a slave in some sense either way.

 

[imissmycat]

I don't know if I can think of five. Right now I'm bothered by the implicit lie that I grew up believing of "you'll find someone and you'll be happy with them forever."

At least I took this as a promise growing up. Having finally tried relationships I've lost hope and run out of goals in life.

 

[kinderbueno]

"We love you for who you are" - said by my parents. If they found out I was an ex muslim they'd kick me out

 

[derpyderpins]

1) I'm a good or even a kind person. (A lot of people confuse my fear of conflict with kindness. They also try to say the fact that I hate myself must mean I am actually really nice when really I just can't find it in me to hate most other people more)
2) I'm physically attractive or that any of my features are physically attractive (except for my height. I'll concede that 6 feet is above average even though I know many people who are taller).
3) I am intelligent (I know I'm not because I constantly make stupid mistakes all the time and I enjoy stupid things and I have stupid opinions and beliefs.)
4) I have so much potential (even if I did, I already wasted too much of my life at 30 years old. Any potential I still may have would only last me maybe like 10-15 more years anyway)
5) I deserve good things (no the fuck I don't.)

Maybe these aren't technically lies because they're usually coming from good intentions or simply being misinformed, but deep in my heart I know the truth. I know I'm so much worse than people think and the only people who could convince me otherwise rightfully don't care about me.

For 1, 3, and 4, I'd chock it up to how low our modern society has set expectations lol. I am probably one of the people you're thinking of who says those things but people can be so bad, just the absence of cruelness, stupidity, or incompetence puts you a good bit above average.

"We love you for who you are" - said by my parents. If they found out I was an ex muslim they'd kick me out

Absolutely. You love who you think I am. You might still say you love me if I were very different, but you wouldn't really, or at least not nearly as much.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

For 1, 3, and 4, I'd chock it up to how low our modern society has set expectations lol. I am probably one of the people you're thinking of who says those things but people can be so bad, just the absence of cruelness, stupidity, or incompetence puts you a good bit above average.

Cruelness, stupidity, and incompetence I've got in spades. In my stupidity I sometimes fall short in explaining just how low I am or can get. Then again I suppose anyone who's telling me I don't have these things isn't exactly lying, it just means I haven't made them fully aware and that's my fault.

 

[kinderbueno]

Absolutely. You love who you think I am. You might still say you love me if I were very different, but you wouldn't really, or at least not nearly as much.

That's the perfect way to phrase it. I love them but they won't love me

 

[eatantz]

1. Your pretty
2. Your not weird just unique
3. I know you have autism but you can still act normal
4. Just apply yourself
5. It's your fault your depressed stop thinking about negative things

 

[ijustwishtodie]

"We love you for who you are" - said by my parents. If they found out I was an ex muslim they'd kick me out

This is so relatable. All love is conditional. Unconditional love doesn't exist. Most muslims would always choose an imaginary god and a pedo prophet over their own family. They've been trained to put islam first before family

 

[kinderbueno]

This is so relatable. All love is conditional. Unconditional love doesn't exist. Most muslims would always choose an imaginary god and a pedo prophet over their own family. They've been trained to put islam first before family

This is so true. They claim to be the most tolerant, peaceful people but immediatley treat you like crap if you don't agree with their personal beliefs. Are you an ex muslim?

1. Your pretty
2. Your not weird just unique
3. I know you have autism but you can still act normal
4. Just apply yourself
5. It's your fault your depressed stop thinking about negative things

2,3 and 5 are very relatable. I'm autistic and it's so frustrating that people don't understand that I cant be like them. Number 5 hits hard because that's just what my parents say to me all the time

 

[ijustwishtodie]

This is so true. They claim to be the most tolerant, peaceful people but immediatley treat you like crap if you don't agree with their personal beliefs. Are you an ex muslim?

The "religion of peace" isn't peaceful at all. I have to pretend to follow their religion even though I can't care less about their stupid beliefs. Yes, I'm an ex muslim. I've concluded that islam, like all other religions, is man made

 

[Seered Doom]

5) "Your trauma makes you stronger." - No the fuck it doesn't, whoever says this, I really hope they can pull their head out of their ass because this doesn't sound motivational at all.
4) "Be grateful because you don't have to deal with (x, y, z)" - Yeah, I can be grateful for that while still feeling like shit about my current situation. I understand whoever says this is trying to be helpful, but it's overused and falls on deaf ears.
3) "God/Buddha/Muhammad/(insert gods here)will help you heal." - What about the atheists and agnostics that don't believe in a God or Goddess? Are those groups just fucked? What about those who don't give a shit about religion? Are they fucked too?
2) "Stop being so negative!" - Then give me something to be positive about! I hate it whenever my mother says this because she never gives me anything to follow up with and most people who say this don't provide any meaningful alternative.
1) "You can't take constructive criticism." - Then maybe you should ask if I'm receptive to feedback before providing critique and even then, just be more mindful of how you word things. It may take me a while to process how things are said and worded so don't expect me to respond correctly the first time around.

 

[thgilrats]

1. "I'm sorry"
2. "I love you"
3. "I understand"
4. "I believe you"
5. "I like you"

 

[kinderbueno]

The "religion of peace" isn't peaceful at all. I have to pretend to follow their religion even though I can't care less about their stupid beliefs. Yes, I'm an ex muslim. I've concluded that islam, like all other religions, is man made

Same I also have to pretend and it kills me everyday. Is it okay if I DM you? I'm interested in hearing more about your experiences as an ex muslim because I've never spoken to another ex muslim before. I completely understand if you don't want to

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Same I also have to pretend and it kills me everyday. Is it okay if I DM you? I'm interested in hearing more about your experiences as an ex muslim because I've never spoken to another ex muslim before. I completely understand if you don't want to

Sure, you can dm me. We can talk about this further and share experiences and stuff. I don't know if my dms are even open so, if they aren't, feel free to let me know

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

1. "Help is always avaliable"
2. "Help is always avaliable"
3. "Help is always avaliable"
4. "Help is always avaliable"
5. Idk... People tend to say that pickles are good. They are not. I'm sure they mean no harm though.

Doesn't have to be in specific order, but pls clarify whether it is or not to prevent confusion!


Here is mine in order:

1. "you were never abused/it didn't happen, you're just overexxagerating because you're ill."
2. "Just give it some more time/just be patient, things will improve eventually."
3. "They probably didn't mean it that way, it just feels that way because of your mental ilness"
4. "They didn't mean to traumatize you, they were there to help you."
5. "Suicide isn't the solution because most people can get helped."

As someone who's a victim of abuse by the mental health system "were here to help you.", is definitely the most painful one though.

Ngl, number 4 makes my blood boil.