Before jumping into this, I want to mention I know my grammar and what not is horrible. My sister who is a drug addict and an alcoholic moved in with her 2 kids. Almost every day I'm told I'm stupid, a loser, or whatever by her kid. EVERYDAY my sister yells and puts everyone down in the house. For example, she said my mom should hang herself, and her weight will be enough to break her neck. Yesterday as I was seeing her for the first time for the day, and as she was walking out the door. She told me to kill myself. Every day I have to deal with the screaming and what not. The stress of this has fried my brain so badly that I had a hard time simply counting bricks to put around the mailbox (12 of them btw). In short, please forgive me on any writing errors.
______________________________
I don't feel like offing myself due to this, but this doesn't help at all. And I do blame myself for some of this, but there has been a bit that went wrong.
So when I was in HS I wanted to be an Air Force pilot. Because of this, I decided to get a basic degree in aerospace and then work towards a BS before joining.
My career plan was at the time.
A: Join the AF as a pilot.
B: Work as an airline pilot.
C: Work in the aerospace industry.
D: Stock Market (when I was 16 I started studying the market, and after I turned 18 I made a little off of it. A little meaning a few $100.)
Because of my autism and learning disability, I had a hard time going through my first degree. Due to this mix with the fact that I didn't know it was actually important to make sure your GPA was worth while. I couldn't get my BS. And due to the economic down turn at the time, I moved with my parents to another state in the USA around 2011/2012 time. I started going for aerospace jobs, but I was fired in 1 after a month to my guess because my social problems due to my autism. When I went for other jobs I was laughed out of the interview even when answering everything right. I'm again assuming it was because of my social problems.
So plan C went in smoke. Due to this I figured I need to go back to school instead of waiting for the economy to get better and jobs to start coming out. I went for some network tech AS degree. I tried one more time to get a job in the aerospace industry, and this time as a QA person. I got the job, and my first day they said I had to pick between keeping the job or staying in school (even when they didn't conflict with each other). I thought about it for a second, and I quit since my pay was maxed out already & I was the highest ranking QA person there. I believe my pay was $25k a year. After sitting down, my plan looked like the following.
A: Join the AF as a pilot.
B: Work as an airline pilot.
C: Work in the aerospace industry.
D: Stock Market
E: Work in IT support.
F: Work as a network engineer.
G: Work as a coder.
Anyways, after a bit in my AS I had to start to only take 1 to 2 classes at a time to keep up a grade of C or higher. Luckily, I made mostly A in that degree. Almost towards the end I was told to get another degree on top of this one since it is only a handful of classes apart. So I got a general computer degree and a network tech degree (both AS). I still couldn't find a job, but I was doing OK on YouTube at the time with doing how-to tech videos. So I added that to plan H.
Because my BS classes were much much harder, I had to beg my teachers for a passing grade when I taken more than 2 classes. This is important since I never taken a student loan out, and a mix of pell grant and scholarships was paying for my classes.
Anyways, during the entire degree I tried applying for a number of remote coding jobs. I obviously didn't get a single one. And some might say move, but I simply don't have the money to move. And this is important to note since one of the interviews they asked me if I would be OK with moving out there to work there. I said no, but I followed the company to see if I made a bad choice. 2 weeks later, and the company isn't around anymore. This means I would've been stuck trying to find my way back. (NOTE: I'm still trying to get a coding job now. But nothing has changed.)
Towards the end of the BS I got talking with one of my class mates, and it turned out they worked for the state in the local area as an IT support. We cheated off each other so we would have the best grade as possible in some PM class. During the tail end of the class, he told me about how he is getting a promotion and his job will be open. I applied, and after the class was over I couldn't get him to reply back. I was rejected, and I was even rejected from several intern jobs that I over qualify for. So I'm not sure if he screwed with my name.
My last semester or 2 there was some networking tech job that opened for the state. Luckily it was for a place my mom use to work with, and she pulled some strings to get me an interview. On the job board they mentioned network engineering, they told my mom they really wanted a coder, and during the interview it was nothing but server admin questions. Since I have almost no training in active directory, I didn't get the job.
A few weeks later I seen some lvl 1 IT support jobs opened up for the city. They just required a HS diploma and minor experience. A few days later they took it down and re upload it to require a masters degree, and the pay was still reflecting around $30k. In a nutshell, it's a nightmare getting any tech job in my area.
After getting done with my last degree, I tried to contact some people I knew who worked in places like Cisco to help me get a network engineering job. But not a single person got back to me. And the ones that did, they didn't work there anymore. Between that and the fact there is no network engineering jobs in the local area, plan F went out the door.
And something I didn't know until a few months ago, I didn't know most IT support and network engineers are on-call. Since I would like to have a family one day, I officially wrote off E and F.
For plan D, I looked into my ROI and found it was about 15-20% on average. I asked around and did the calculations. I would realistically need to have between $250k-$500k a min to trade with (and only trade with) to make a livable wage. So D was out the door.
A mix between this and because my parents wanted a farm, they brought up I could be a farm manager when they get a farm up and running. For this to be profitable, it will take about 5 to 6 years after the first plant gets into the ground. But because it is something I think I would like, that is plan I. Also, I started getting into personal 3D printing. I want to get a CNC and laser engraver down the road. I also want to do wood working. So wood working is plan J and making a rapid prototype company is plan K. It should be noted I think I can do I-K together in some aspect. Maybe with H.
Because I'm officially done with my BS, I started looking at A & B again. The other day I found out to be an AF pilot I need to be younger than 30, I need to not have hay fever after age of 12, and a few other things. I'm 32 now, and I do get hay fever every year. Like I can take stuff, but I still get it. And looking at if my autism will get in the way, it turns out that in itself would need a waver. This means I would need 3+ wavers to just be a pilot. So A is out the door.
While B isn't completely out the door, it might as well be. Unless if medical will keep me from getting it, I will get a private pilot license. It might however take me a year. But to work for an airliner I need an ATP license. This alone would take me a stupid amount of money and maybe 7+ years. But I am still looking into it, and I could be wrong. If it looks like it will take that long, then I'm writing that off too.
As far as plan H, I am not 100% writing it off. But it's pretty much dead. For the last few years I've been getting around $200 every month no matter the growth. And due to my alcoholic and drug addict sister moving in with her kids. I haven't really put any video out for a while.
So in short, my plan looks like this.
A: Join the AF as a pilot.
B: Work as an airline pilot.
C: Work in the aerospace industry.
D: Stock Market
E: Work in IT support.
F: Work as a network engineer.
G: Work as a coder.
H: YouTube
I: Farm Manager/farmer
J: Wood working/jewelry
K: Rapid prototyping
The reason why I'm putting this hear is mostly because I needed to talk about the situation.
Oh and as I said from the start. I know I am to blame for this shit show. I should've done more and better research. I should've looked for better options. I mean some of this there is no way I could've known. But things like IT is an on-call job. That is something I should've known about before starting my degrees. Like even now I know there is more I could be doing like reinforcing my coding skills, building apps, and pushing for that. I could be working on my YouTube channel, and maybe working on a topical channel. And even now I am making a mistake by playing video games once in a while vs the other.
But I still feel like life has curb stomped me 80 times now.
______________________________
I don't feel like offing myself due to this, but this doesn't help at all. And I do blame myself for some of this, but there has been a bit that went wrong.
So when I was in HS I wanted to be an Air Force pilot. Because of this, I decided to get a basic degree in aerospace and then work towards a BS before joining.
My career plan was at the time.
A: Join the AF as a pilot.
B: Work as an airline pilot.
C: Work in the aerospace industry.
D: Stock Market (when I was 16 I started studying the market, and after I turned 18 I made a little off of it. A little meaning a few $100.)
Because of my autism and learning disability, I had a hard time going through my first degree. Due to this mix with the fact that I didn't know it was actually important to make sure your GPA was worth while. I couldn't get my BS. And due to the economic down turn at the time, I moved with my parents to another state in the USA around 2011/2012 time. I started going for aerospace jobs, but I was fired in 1 after a month to my guess because my social problems due to my autism. When I went for other jobs I was laughed out of the interview even when answering everything right. I'm again assuming it was because of my social problems.
So plan C went in smoke. Due to this I figured I need to go back to school instead of waiting for the economy to get better and jobs to start coming out. I went for some network tech AS degree. I tried one more time to get a job in the aerospace industry, and this time as a QA person. I got the job, and my first day they said I had to pick between keeping the job or staying in school (even when they didn't conflict with each other). I thought about it for a second, and I quit since my pay was maxed out already & I was the highest ranking QA person there. I believe my pay was $25k a year. After sitting down, my plan looked like the following.
A: Join the AF as a pilot.
B: Work as an airline pilot.
D: Stock Market
E: Work in IT support.
F: Work as a network engineer.
G: Work as a coder.
Anyways, after a bit in my AS I had to start to only take 1 to 2 classes at a time to keep up a grade of C or higher. Luckily, I made mostly A in that degree. Almost towards the end I was told to get another degree on top of this one since it is only a handful of classes apart. So I got a general computer degree and a network tech degree (both AS). I still couldn't find a job, but I was doing OK on YouTube at the time with doing how-to tech videos. So I added that to plan H.
Because my BS classes were much much harder, I had to beg my teachers for a passing grade when I taken more than 2 classes. This is important since I never taken a student loan out, and a mix of pell grant and scholarships was paying for my classes.
Anyways, during the entire degree I tried applying for a number of remote coding jobs. I obviously didn't get a single one. And some might say move, but I simply don't have the money to move. And this is important to note since one of the interviews they asked me if I would be OK with moving out there to work there. I said no, but I followed the company to see if I made a bad choice. 2 weeks later, and the company isn't around anymore. This means I would've been stuck trying to find my way back. (NOTE: I'm still trying to get a coding job now. But nothing has changed.)
Towards the end of the BS I got talking with one of my class mates, and it turned out they worked for the state in the local area as an IT support. We cheated off each other so we would have the best grade as possible in some PM class. During the tail end of the class, he told me about how he is getting a promotion and his job will be open. I applied, and after the class was over I couldn't get him to reply back. I was rejected, and I was even rejected from several intern jobs that I over qualify for. So I'm not sure if he screwed with my name.
My last semester or 2 there was some networking tech job that opened for the state. Luckily it was for a place my mom use to work with, and she pulled some strings to get me an interview. On the job board they mentioned network engineering, they told my mom they really wanted a coder, and during the interview it was nothing but server admin questions. Since I have almost no training in active directory, I didn't get the job.
A few weeks later I seen some lvl 1 IT support jobs opened up for the city. They just required a HS diploma and minor experience. A few days later they took it down and re upload it to require a masters degree, and the pay was still reflecting around $30k. In a nutshell, it's a nightmare getting any tech job in my area.
After getting done with my last degree, I tried to contact some people I knew who worked in places like Cisco to help me get a network engineering job. But not a single person got back to me. And the ones that did, they didn't work there anymore. Between that and the fact there is no network engineering jobs in the local area, plan F went out the door.
And something I didn't know until a few months ago, I didn't know most IT support and network engineers are on-call. Since I would like to have a family one day, I officially wrote off E and F.
For plan D, I looked into my ROI and found it was about 15-20% on average. I asked around and did the calculations. I would realistically need to have between $250k-$500k a min to trade with (and only trade with) to make a livable wage. So D was out the door.
A mix between this and because my parents wanted a farm, they brought up I could be a farm manager when they get a farm up and running. For this to be profitable, it will take about 5 to 6 years after the first plant gets into the ground. But because it is something I think I would like, that is plan I. Also, I started getting into personal 3D printing. I want to get a CNC and laser engraver down the road. I also want to do wood working. So wood working is plan J and making a rapid prototype company is plan K. It should be noted I think I can do I-K together in some aspect. Maybe with H.
Because I'm officially done with my BS, I started looking at A & B again. The other day I found out to be an AF pilot I need to be younger than 30, I need to not have hay fever after age of 12, and a few other things. I'm 32 now, and I do get hay fever every year. Like I can take stuff, but I still get it. And looking at if my autism will get in the way, it turns out that in itself would need a waver. This means I would need 3+ wavers to just be a pilot. So A is out the door.
While B isn't completely out the door, it might as well be. Unless if medical will keep me from getting it, I will get a private pilot license. It might however take me a year. But to work for an airliner I need an ATP license. This alone would take me a stupid amount of money and maybe 7+ years. But I am still looking into it, and I could be wrong. If it looks like it will take that long, then I'm writing that off too.
As far as plan H, I am not 100% writing it off. But it's pretty much dead. For the last few years I've been getting around $200 every month no matter the growth. And due to my alcoholic and drug addict sister moving in with her kids. I haven't really put any video out for a while.
So in short, my plan looks like this.
B: Work as an airline pilot.
D: Stock Market
E: Work in IT support.
F: Work as a network engineer.
G: Work as a coder.
I: Farm Manager/farmer
J: Wood working/jewelry
K: Rapid prototyping
The reason why I'm putting this hear is mostly because I needed to talk about the situation.
Oh and as I said from the start. I know I am to blame for this shit show. I should've done more and better research. I should've looked for better options. I mean some of this there is no way I could've known. But things like IT is an on-call job. That is something I should've known about before starting my degrees. Like even now I know there is more I could be doing like reinforcing my coding skills, building apps, and pushing for that. I could be working on my YouTube channel, and maybe working on a topical channel. And even now I am making a mistake by playing video games once in a while vs the other.
But I still feel like life has curb stomped me 80 times now.
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