anonymousapple

anonymousapple

Member
Jul 3, 2020
59
I'm starting to get more and more consumed by anhedonia, so I wanted to start clearing up any stuff I have online, and I'm starting by sending my goodbyes (trying to keep it vague, because I'm not ready just yet) to the people I have on discord, and I got to everyone except my high school friend. Most of the people on my list were people I met online, some of them I've known for YEARS, but there's one guy who I had actually met in my high school when no one else would talk to me.

What do I say to him without drawing too much suspicion, or should I just wait until the day that I actually do it? I also don't know what to say in general, because I don't want to hurt him too much.
 
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rhiino

rhiino

Arcanist
May 13, 2020
462
You could prepare delayed emails that you date when you know you will finally do it. There you could say anything without worrying about saying too much.
 
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Baguette

Baguette

Member
Jun 28, 2020
90
I'm starting to get more and more consumed by anhedonia, so I wanted to start clearing up any stuff I have online, and I'm starting by sending my goodbyes (trying to keep it vague, because I'm not ready just yet) to the people I have on discord, and I got to everyone except my high school friend. Most of the people on my list were people I met online, some of them I've known for YEARS, but there's one guy who I had actually met in my high school when no one else would talk to me.

What do I say to him without drawing too much suspicion, or should I just wait until the day that I actually do it? I also don't know what to say in general, because I don't want to hurt him too much.
Anhedonia?
 
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maru.

maru.

Experienced
Apr 6, 2020
226
Anhedonia?

"Anhedonia is a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure.
While earlier definitions of anhedonia emphasized the inability to experience pleasure, anhedonia is used by researchers to refer to reduced motivation, reduced anticipatory pleasure (wanting), reduced consummatory pleasure (liking), and deficits in reinforcement learning.
In the DSM-5, anhedonia is a component of depressive disorders, substance-related disorders, psychotic disorders, and personality disorders, where it is defined by either a reduced ability to experience pleasure, or a diminished interest in engaging in pleasurable activities.
While the ICD-10 does not explicitly mention anhedonia, the depressive symptom analogous to anhedonia as described in the DSM-V is a loss of interest or pleasure."

I'd like to say that i got this definition from some fancy science book or something, to sound smart and sophisticated, but while i should read those kinds of books for college, i don't, i just use Wikipedia, which is all i need (until it isn't).
 
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anonymousapple

anonymousapple

Member
Jul 3, 2020
59
Anhedonia?
what maru said, i know it's a lot but it'll make sense when you read it

anhedonia purely by itself can be worked on, but when anhedonia is combined with depression, borderline, manic, a 9-5 job, and social ineptitude (no friends to help you get by), it's terrible

i can't enjoy anything like i used to, nothing interests me for more than a week, and it's gotten to the point where it's complete darkness now

i can't enjoy music anymore, in fact it stresses me out because of how much my brain started associating it with negative/depressing thoughts, i can't enjoy video games anymore, i can't enjoy working out anymore, and i'm starting to lose interest in basic human necessities like eating and sleeping
 
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maru.

maru.

Experienced
Apr 6, 2020
226
what maru said, i know it's a lot but it'll make sense when you read it

anhedonia purely by itself can be worked on, but when anhedonia is combined with depression, borderline, manic, a 9-5 job, and social ineptitude (no friends to help you get by), it's terrible

i can't enjoy anything like i used to, nothing interests me for more than a week, and it's gotten to the point where it's complete darkness now

i can't enjoy music anymore, in fact it stresses me out because of how much my brain started associating it with negative/depressing thoughts, i can't enjoy video games anymore, i can't enjoy working out anymore, and i'm starting to lose interest in basic human necessities like eating and sleeping

I'm so sorry.
I suffer from anhedonia myself, but i can still get some enjoyment from things every once in a while without feeling too empty.
You seem to be in a much more severe state, i can't imagine what it's like.
It's hard to live and not want to ctb when we have anhedonia, since we don't enjoy things, it feels pointless to even stay, since we don't want to do anything.
Life starts to feel like literally everything we do is a chore, so we feel tired all of the time, and can barely even function.
At some point, when you're disfunctional for too long, it catches up to us, responsibilities, debt, etc.
I don't know what to say, i know nothing i say can make you feel ok.
Just know that you're not alone in feeling like this, i know what it's like, and if you want to talk to someone about it, you can PM me at any time.
*hugs*
 
maru.

maru.

Experienced
Apr 6, 2020
226
Hey, like, there was a thread just now titled "Why", if i'm recalling it correctly, from a somewhat new member.
It also seemed to be about anhedonia, and for some reason i got more inspired when writing the reply, like, i actually gave more ideas and insight.
I don't know, my head is weird, sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off, it's mostly off, but oh well.
So like, if anyone also saw that thread, like, it got deleted after i finished typing the reply, so i copied it, but me being stupid forgot to check OP's name.
I'd really like to send this to that person as i really think it could help somehow, so if anyone saw that thread to and know who it was, i'd appreciate if you told me.
Well, here's the reply in question, which i think is relevant for this thread too, since it's basically the same subject, hope it can help someone here:

"I think you're feeling something that is well know as "Anhedonia".
It's a ridiculously common sympton of depression and/or other mental illnesses.
It seems you're somewhat new on this website, so i'd like to say: Welcome!
You'll find that in this community, a lot of people suffer from this, i do myself.
I don't know the exact cause or how to fix it, it's weird, as it doesn't feel logical, it's not something we can reason with.
Which is why i imagine you probably feel a lot of agony when asking "why is it all so boring" and your conscious can't answer it with reason.
I think it's because it's probably somewhat chemical related.
Things like hormones (testosterone in men has a huge effect on this, so if you're a dude, check your testosterone levels as soon as possible).
I don't know much about female hormones, in case you're one, when it comes to this, i'd ask a psychiatrist and/or an endocrinologist.
Another thing that can go into this is neurotransmitters, mostly dopamine and serotonin receptors, that's where antidepressants come in, so a psychiatrist helps.
More things that can help with hormones and neurotransmitter receptors is exercise, a healthy diet, and good habits overall, like less masturbation and stuff.
Something else i'd recommend is a therapist perhaps, to help with the more emotional and less biological aspect of your mental health.
That's what i can think about, i hope you can get the help you need and overcome you anhedonia, no one deserves this horrible feeling.
I'm free if you want to PM me, tho considering you're new here i don't know if you can already, need to have "x" number of messages first, i don't recall.
You can reply to me in this thread just fine aswell.
*hugs*"
 
Baguette

Baguette

Member
Jun 28, 2020
90
what maru said, i know it's a lot but it'll make sense when you read it

anhedonia purely by itself can be worked on, but when anhedonia is combined with depression, borderline, manic, a 9-5 job, and social ineptitude (no friends to help you get by), it's terrible

i can't enjoy anything like i used to, nothing interests me for more than a week, and it's gotten to the point where it's complete darkness now

i can't enjoy music anymore, in fact it stresses me out because of how much my brain started associating it with negative/depressing thoughts, i can't enjoy video games anymore, i can't enjoy working out anymore, and i'm starting to lose interest in basic human necessities like eating and sleeping
I probably have some degree of anhedonia then. The only thing I really enjoy is music but I can't seem to enjoy happier music that I used to like.
 
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