What steps are you taking to not raise any suspicions?

[Comatose11]

I'm talking about my future and plans for it. I'm also open (for the most part) but don't talk about reasons I want to ctb (for example I don't tell them I know I have no future). This way, it seems like I'm open and my family knows what's going on in my life and that I am expecting to live. I'm a college student and do talk about my career choice, what steps I need to take to get there, etc. It seems to be working well. My family has no idea (or at least doesn't appear to) that in less than a month, I'll be dead. I'm also not going to give away prized possessions (you guys do whatever you want with my items when I'm dead) and I'm not going to quit my job (just in case I fail, but I highly doubt I will). Although one of my family members asks me if I'm ok a lot. I asked them why, they said, "just checking" or "making conversation." They know I've attempted suicide several years ago. But I don't think they know about my currently plans.

What steps are other people on here taking in order to not raise any suspicions?

 

[Empty Smile]

I put on a fake smile, and avoid any conversations that may have to do with depression or suicides, as that could draw me into it. Act happy, that's all you can really do. Don't show your emotions in any way.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Pfffffffft, anyone who knows me expects it.

My relatives are hoping I hurry up. The longer this goes, the older they're getting without being able to enjoy the inheritance.

 

[Smilla]

Pfffffffft, anyone who knows me expects it.

My relatives are hoping I hurry up. The longer this goes, the older they're getting without being able to enjoy the inheritance.

 

[Sinbad]

Pfffffffft, anyone who knows me expects it.

My relatives are hoping I hurry up. The longer this goes, the older they're getting without being able to enjoy the inheritance.

Tell your relatives that you donated all your assets before CTB lol have the last laugh.

 

[ReadyasEver]

I can keep a game face on pretty well, but it gets harder all the time.

 

[stargazer]

Acting calm. Not over-thinking things. Treating everything positively. Pretending like everything's only a 50.50 chance anyhow.

Basically, just being my normal self.

 

[Lunaemoth]

Acting cheerful and happy even though it takes wa to much energy and leaves me exhausted. Actively discussing plans for the future. Mentioning things I'm 'looking forward to' weeks or months after my ctb date.

I've made up a web of lies about a party the night of my ctb at a friend's house who will let me crash if we drink too much, and how I'll probably go straight to work the next day. I still live at home, so that gives me the better part of two days in a hotel room. I mentioned the possibility of it a couple weeks ago, and slowly slip in more details as if I'm excited abiut going and we're finalizing party plans.

 

[deflagrat]

Noone cares anyways. Parents? They will be sad but they won't try to stop me. Psych? He won't try to stop me. Social worker? She won't either. I wouldn't say they don't give a shit, more like they can't stop it. In Spain they leave you alone, they won't try to make you go to the psych ward, they simply say "ok" and go on with their lives.

 

[15dec]

I've just been trying to act as happy and normal as possible. It's completely draining but if it means people think I'm 'getting better' or at least have better final memories of me it's worth it

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I'm just acting "normal" and going to boring family events and smiling. What I really want to do is isolate myself completely and not talk to anyone. Also, as far as everyone knows, I'm taking a "holiday" abroad in January.

Family have no idea that I'm gradually getting rid of my stuff, closing my bank accounts and tying up loose ends. My flat has the barest minimum furniture in it but no one visits me so this isn't a problem. So far I haven't raised anyone's suspicions, although I've dropped a few hints to my sister.

My upcoming holiday will involve a one-way ticket.

 

[LostBoy]

This is what my son did,
He lived in shitty Australia and I live in Scotland so he knew he didn't need to worry about his daily routines or appearance being a give away, he humoured me in messages and so on indicating that he was OK and even talked about the future. All along I had no clue that his suicide was only ever a bank statement away, he had made a lot of money so quite easily could afford to live without a job for a long time 'enjoying' the fruits of a well paid job but his intentions it seemed was that he would CTB when the money ran out, he put a lot of money on the lottery in his last week which made me think if he hadn't any money worries would he still be here, that haunts me because money is no reason to end your life, Im not rich but would of done anything to keep him alive and give him a chance to rebuild but it seems he wasn't really that into living anyway.
He gave me no clue.

Please be very careful and sure that the final decision is the right one cause this is real and forever, it will cause devastion to family and friends, the ripple effect is huge and doesn't decrease, it grows.
The only consolation I have is that it was his choice and he was true to himself.

RIP my wonderful boy.

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

Similar to others, I am mostly talking about the future, "looking forward," making plans, and so on. I've been hiding all of my preparations to the best of my ability. This has been difficult due to the low amount of "energy" I have to do basic things, when what I would rather do is curl up in a ball and sleep.

 

[monobun]

Just trying to be normal and keep my energy up. Making people laugh and helping around. It's hard though as there are time where I'm really down and I can't muster anything to be energetic and it's really noticable.

 

[Final Escape]

Sometimes it's tempting to talk about it, but obviously if it's with the wrong person you are asking for trouble. If you plan on ctb, I would not say anything about how you are feeling or let on in any way. If you're tempted to disclose your plan or even the urge to tell about wishing to be dead, maybe avoid texting or talking at those times and write your feelings out instead. It's hard for some of us not to disclose our feelings when it's very intense but u can't if you're serious about following through with your plan.

 

[Lunaemoth]

Sometimes it's tempting to talk about it, but obviously if it's with the wrong person you are asking for trouble. If you plan on ctb, I would not say anything about how you are feeling or let on in any way. If you're tempted to disclose your plan or even the urge to tell about wishing to be dead, maybe avoid texting or talking at those times and write your feelings out instead. It's hard for some of us not to disclose our feelings when it's very intense but u can't if you're serious about following through with your plan.

Definitely. It's only a couple weeks away for me and it's the only thing on my mind, so it's hard not to talk about it. That's part of why I'm so glad that I found this site. It's nice not to feel so alone for once.

 

[Midnight]

My mask is worn out after nearly 2 decades... People will still be surprised at first when i ctb
, but when they will try and remember me it will dawn on them that it isn't so surprising after all and that i probably had it in me for a very long time. As in "it's shocking but come to think of it the signs where all there."

I don't hide my depression anymore except for work .. and even there i'm having difficulty keeping the sharade up nowaday's. I try to keep the sadness at bay because i don't want be a downer at the workplace.

 

[toolateforme]

I learned from 3 hospital admissions that a therapist looks to see if you have any plans or intent. Any indication of plans and/or intent is a straight ticket to the hospital bed. Sometimes I'll be half-honest and say I do have thoughts, but regardless, I always say I have NO plans and NO intent, looking them in the eye, whenever they ask about it. Likewise, I don't mention that to ANYONE else, and I try not to discuss suicide in general.

 

[TAW122]

Good idea, it's always better to keep things on the hush-hush side. For me, now that I have obtained my method (at last), I must always be quiet about it. No mention of death, suicide, or right to die with people around me IRL.

 

[Lunaemoth]

I didn't care that much before I'd settled on a day and method about hiding anything, but now that I have both I'm being so cautious... Nothing can go wrong now. I don't even ket myself listen to darker/sadder music where family could hear. Mostly Christmas music unless I have headphones