Discussion What societal factor contributed to your suicidality?

[lixt]

Have any circumstances, events, or any factors contributed to the prevalence of suicide in you? If so, which ones?

 

[sserafim]

The fact that work is modern day slavery and that we'll all have to become slaves to the system. Also, the fact that I'm a part of society. I never wanted to be part of it anyways

 

[Forveleth]

Being forced to go to college because "jobs that require a college degree are better". Now I'm 12 years into a career I hate and I'm miserable.

Also the pressure/expectation to be in a relationship. I should have stayed single as I'm stuck with an incredibly unsupportive partner.

 

[lixt]

The fact that work is modern day slavery and that we'll all have to become slaves to the system. Also, the fact that I'm a part of society. I never wanted to be part of it anyways

I feel the same way and it really sucks.

Being forced to go to college because "jobs that require a college degree are better". Now I'm 12 years into a career I hate and I'm miserable.

Also the pressure/expectation to be in a relationship. I should have stayed single as I'm stuck with an incredibly unsupportive partner.

That sounds truly miserable. I'm so sorry.

 

[thenamingofcats]

The lack of community and helping each other. How we're expected to do everything ourselves as part of adulthood. If I ctb tomorrow no one in my community would notice and that's a huge problem.

 

[4am]

the notion that having children is some kind of good and noble thing. if having children wasn't so socially encouraged, maybe i would have been among the lucky ones to never be born

 

[untothedepths]

Knowing I have no control in my life, despite all I have done. Knowing no matter what choice I make, it will make no difference. It doesn't matter how much good will or intent I have. It doesn't matter how much I change about myself. This is my life. And any attempt to escape or try to make it better is futile. I can't even go anywhere online. The internet...a vast world where I could feel somewhat okay again, is gone. I'm boxed in. I'm cornered like a little animal. An animal without fangs or claws to fight back with. So naturally, I just want to be snuffed out.

 

[divinemistress36]

Medical malpractice

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

For me it's the expectation that no matter how much a person suffers, we have to endure seemingly limitless amounts of pain and put on a happy face "just because" decades from now there might be a magic cure for whatever ails you someday. If your problem isn't fatal, you're expected to keep pushing and pushing no matter what, regardless of prognosis.

I could understand that mindset if a health issue is fairly new and a person has not explored many potential treatment options yet. In that situation it does make sense to keep plodding onwards and trying new things that may alleviate the problem, while they are available.

When you have suffered for years like I have, this dogma that you have to keep fighting and never give up hope is borderline offensive. I've had PTSD and offshoot effects for almost 20 years now, I was only 5 years old the first time I felt sexually traumatised. Then, when I was a teenager I started suffering from chronic fatigue and other miscellaneous health problems that have not abated. For almost 7 years now, I have not had a single day where at best I was not dealing with mild, persistent discomfort, and at worst grappling with severe physical pain.

Believe me, I understand the need for motivational sentiments, especially for people who are out there searching for hope and a reason to carry on. But I fundamentally do not understand why a person like me is not allowed to die in the comfort of my own home and with dignity under the current laws. Haven't I suffered enough?

My aunt suffered her entire adult life with an autoimmune disease that left her crippled, and drove her to the brink of insanity until she finally died in her 40s. I saw firsthand what future was awaiting me, and it was not pleasant. When you are ill or disabled, healthy people often feel uncomfortable around you and avoid you like the plague, so not only do you lose your ability to do things for yourself over time, but you often lose vital socialization, love, and care too. The isolation sucks your very soul away.

I tried my best to overcome all of this, but there's just so many things wrong with me. I've attended therapists and psychiatrists since early childhood, due to autism that was left undiagnosed for a long time, and spent years guinea pigging loads of therapies and medications that did not alleviate any of the consequences caused by complex trauma or ASD. I am not joking when I say that multiple doctors and therapists have told me that they genuinely did not know what else to do regarding my case.

When it comes to my more "physical" health problems (which I hate making such a distinction because people severely underestimate the burden of what they view as purely psychiatric maladies) I have had no luck either. I've had numerous blood tests, scans, x-rays, tried out loads of medication, physiotherapy recommendations, even had surgery because I was eat up with tumors and none of these things substantially improved my quality of life. The treatment I've received from healthcare workers is horrible and dehumanizing.

I have degenerative disc disease, scoliosis, and a lesion on my spine, so if I do too much activity or the wrong sorts of activity I will experience horrible pain in my spine and the only thing that helps is laying in bed. Doctors won't give me pain management, I assume because I am so young. I have a structural defect of the brain where part of my cerebellum extends into the spine, and suffer with 24/7 neurological symptoms that have decimated my quality of life don't respond to any medication, the only intervention for what I have is an extremely risky surgery that 99% of doctors don't even fucking know about. I spent the vast majority of my time laying in bed completely out of it, unable to properly engage with anything nice due to headaches, fatigue and brainfog, and people want to say that's a life worth living?

The fact that I have to sit here and take this, when people would have infinitely more respect for an animal with similar symptoms, is infuriating and appalling. The fact that people like me don't receive pain management, virtually any assistance, or the blessing to die when it becomes too much burns me up. Even if I was cured tomorrow, I would not want to live because of the years of mistreatment and ignorance I've had to face due to being ill. Society leaves disabled and hurting people to rot away at home or to harm ourselves trying to function at all, then thinks this behaviour is somehow compassionate.

This attitude is why I want to die. I've spent years trying things and never got any better, and am just expected to suffer forever. My assessment of my situation is not impulsive and yet it is treated as irrational and stupid by wider society.

 

[divinemistress36]

For me it's the expectation that no matter how much a person suffers, we have to endure seemingly limitless amounts of pain and put on a happy face "just because" decades from now there might be a magic cure for whatever ails you someday. If your problem isn't fatal, you're expected to keep pushing and pushing no matter what, regardless of prognosis.

I could understand that mindset if a health issue is fairly new and a person has not explored many potential treatment options yet. In that situation it does make sense to keep plodding onwards and trying new things that may alleviate the problem, while they are available.

When you have suffered for years like I have, this dogma that you have to keep fighting and never give up hope is borderline offensive. I've had PTSD and offshoot effects for almost 20 years now, I was only 5 years old the first time I felt sexually traumatised. Then, when I was a teenager I started suffering from chronic fatigue and other miscellaneous health problems that have not abated. For almost 7 years now, I have not had a single day where at best I was not dealing with mild, persistent discomfort, and at worst grappling with severe physical pain.

Believe me, I understand the need for motivational sentiments, especially for people who are out there searching for hope and a reason to carry on. But I fundamentally do not understand why a person like me is not allowed to die in the comfort of my own home and with dignity under the current laws. Haven't I suffered enough?

My aunt suffered her entire adult life with an autoimmune disease that left her crippled, and drove her to the brink of insanity until she finally died in her 40s. I saw firsthand what future was awaiting me, and it was not pleasant. When you are ill or disabled, healthy people often feel uncomfortable around you and avoid you like the plague, so not only do you lose your ability to do things for yourself over time, but you often lose vital socialization, love, and care too. The isolation sucks your very soul away.

I tried my best to overcome all of this, but there's just so many things wrong with me. I've attended therapists and psychiatrists since early childhood, due to autism that was left undiagnosed for a long time, and spent years guinea pigging loads of therapies and medications that did not alleviate any of the consequences caused by complex trauma or ASD. I am not joking when I say that multiple doctors and therapists have told me that they genuinely did not know what else to do regarding my case.

When it comes to my more "physical" health problems (which I hate making such a distinction because people severely underestimate the burden of what they view as purely psychiatric maladies) I have had no luck either. I've had numerous blood tests, scans, x-rays, tried out loads of medication, physiotherapy recommendations, even had surgery because I was eat up with tumors and none of these things substantially improved my quality of life. The treatment I've received from healthcare workers is horrible and dehumanizing.

I have degenerative disc disease, scoliosis, and a lesion on my spine, so if I do too much activity or the wrong sorts of activity I will experience horrible pain in my spine and the only thing that helps is laying in bed. Doctors won't give me pain management, I assume because I am so young. I have a structural defect of the brain where part of my cerebellum extends into the spine, and suffer with 24/7 neurological symptoms that have decimated my quality of life don't respond to any medication, the only intervention for what I have is an extremely risky surgery that 99% of doctors don't even fucking know about. I spent the vast majority of my time laying in bed completely out of it, unable to properly engage with anything nice due to headaches, fatigue and brainfog, and people want to say that's a life worth living?

The fact that I have to sit here and take this, when people would have infinitely more respect for an animal with similar symptoms, is infuriating and appalling. The fact that people like me don't receive pain management, virtually any assistance, or the blessing to die when it becomes too much burns me up. Even if I was cured tomorrow, I would not want to live because of the years of mistreatment and ignorance I've had to face due to being ill. Society leaves disabled and hurting people to rot away at home or to harm ourselves trying to function at all, then thinks this behaviour is somehow compassionate.

This attitude is why I want to die. I've spent years trying things and never got any better, and am just expected to suffer forever. My assessment of my situation is not impulsive and yet it is treated as irrational and stupid by wider society.

Well said .We are suppose to suffer just cause it might make other people sad and people act like some miracle cure is just around the corner

 

[mexican_patty]

Aside from mental health issues that don't let me be at peace, knowing I won't achieve my dreams and losing my community is the biggest factor.

I wanted to go to art school, but it is expensive. I don't have any money, my family is in debt. I don't really have passion or willing to do anything else, I feel useless, art is the only thing I'm barely good at.

All my friends are being successful academically and professionally, and I'm happy for them, but I wish I was a part of that. Most of them are moving soon and I've always been shy, all the friends I have (well, like 5 or 6) are high school friends that came to talk to me first and include me on their friend groups, I've never been good at talking to people. So I'm sad I'm losing them and I won't be able to make new ones. I know it's part of life, I don't expect to hang out everyday forever, but I can't stand that sadness of getting isolated in the future.

I can't see myself in the future, I used to like life, but now I can't feel that anymore, and it's been years. I don't see any change and I don't have the energy to make a change, I'm always tired.

 

[Abyssal]

Beauty standards.

 

[unabletocope]

Lack of a solid character

 

[anhedonya]

The way American poverty rotted my mom's non American brain until she became unrecognizable. The stress of living here made her into a monster and she took it out on me.

 

[lixt]

The way American poverty rotted my mom's non American brain until she became unrecognizable. The stress of living here made her into a monster and she took it out on me.

It's not your fault nor you mother's. Society just sucks in general.

 

[PanaxMan]

"being good at school" academic standards when you don't learn shit about being a adult in society throughout school. Wasted 18 years of my life and caused so much PTSD for me