Venting What should love feel like?

[evilnkaa]

To start I'm 19 I've been online dating for years and years as well as IRL dating. I don't think I'm super unattractive I have blue eyes, black hair, piercings, tattoos, I have dark patches under my eyes and I look tired all the time. But my days are 50/50 I look at my body a lot in the mirror. I hate how I look. But to a lot of people, they want to look like me. Have my body and be me. I couldn't imagine another me truthfully. I probably dated closer to 50 people in my entire life. I only slept with 3 out of all of the guys. And I have only kissed 5 guys in my whole life. I want to say I know the feeling of love and I've been in love but I honestly cannot say. I felt obsessed with someone and attached but do I know the feeling of love? Have I been in love? I'm not too sure the dictionary can help with that one. I constantly think my life purpose is to find love because if I don't I'll disappoint my family. I believe my life is meaningless without it and I'm unsure where to go. I want to think I'm a half-decent person but when people need me I'm never there because I'm struggling with my mental health and every time I mention being drained or not okay I get called selfish but I cannot help someone if I'm in my hole. I feel like I'm spitting nonsense. I just want to be seen and loved at the end of the day and I feel like I will never get that.

 

[Belkon]

Our love is the most harmful weapon a human being can have in their hands. Admiration and care are how love works for me, but I have lived and continue to experience being emotionally hurt by men. You feel very lost when you love someone, but they are not your safe haven, causing you a lot of suffering.

 

[Darkover]

People often define love in many different ways—some see it as an emotional connection, others as actions that show care and commitment

even when one person still loves the other, relationships can end. This can make love feel fragile or temporary, and it's hard to reconcile when one person remains invested while the other moves on. this isn't love, love a double edge sword

 

[Just_Another_Person]

I think "love" has different meanings for different people. If I could "describe" it is when the person puts a silly smile on my face just by making me company. When said person is my first thought when I wake up and last thought when I sleep. They make me feel safe, cared and comfortable. I want to be with them in the good and bad moments. I hope it made sense.

But if you don't want to be with someone (in a romantic relationship) that is okay. You are not going to let down anyone. It is your decision and yours only. I know what I am gonna say now gonna sound cliché and maybe a little offensive but I swear it is true: in a few years you will learn how to better understand and dealt with your feelings. When we are teenagers we feel some feelings very intense and don't know exactly what do with them, this changes with the years you gain. (Just to be sure: not calling you a kid lol)

About people needing you, if you are not okay it means you are not okay. It is not fair of them to demand you magically feel better. No, you are not selfish. It is okay to put limits and impose yourself. Being unwell and receive emotional dump from someone only going to make you feel worse.

I'm sure you will be loved (and also feel loved) someday, may not be today or tomorrow, but if you let your hearth open it will come

OP, I wish you nice things!

And just out of curiosity, about your piercings... snake bites?

 

[whywere]

Love is an emotion and also a state of mind.

The old saying that the mind is the largest sex organ in a human can be stated also for the term of love as, at least in my thoughts, the strongest chemical effect on one's brain.

Everyone has a different take (meaning) of love and also at the time of feeling in love external factors can come into play.

Through the decades, I have had a few gals that I fell head over heels for, and each time the love aspect was totally different for me, as far as the overall feeling, how I perceived her AND her friends.

Case in point, one time when I was totally into a gal, I forgot things and it was if I was in a daze. Another time, it just felt wonderful, her looks, smell of her perfume.

So, each time was different, but I will state one thing that stayed constant and that was the feeling of having someone in my life, instead of always being by myself, and that feeling was always just so WONDERFUL, like walking on a cloud.

The mental health folks always tell me that it would help to have a lady friend. AS even at my age I am always looking like most folks, as humans are NOT designed to be alone and having someone to watch a sunset sitting on Waikiki beach would be great.

Lots of hugs to you and have a great Friday and upcoming weekend.

Walter

 

[brokeandbroken]

To start I'm 19 I've been online dating for years and years as well as IRL dating. I don't think I'm super unattractive I have blue eyes, black hair, piercings, tattoos, I have dark patches under my eyes and I look tired all the time. But my days are 50/50 I look at my body a lot in the mirror. I hate how I look. But to a lot of people, they want to look like me. Have my body and be me. I couldn't imagine another me truthfully. I probably dated closer to 50 people in my entire life. I only slept with 3 out of all of the guys. And I have only kissed 5 guys in my whole life. I want to say I know the feeling of love and I've been in love but I honestly cannot say. I felt obsessed with someone and attached but do I know the feeling of love? Have I been in love? I'm not too sure the dictionary can help with that one. I constantly think my life purpose is to find love because if I don't I'll disappoint my family. I believe my life is meaningless without it and I'm unsure where to go. I want to think I'm a half-decent person but when people need me I'm never there because I'm struggling with my mental health and every time I mention being drained or not okay I get called selfish but I cannot help someone if I'm in my hole. I feel like I'm spitting nonsense. I just want to be seen and loved at the end of the day and I feel like I will never get that.

I think the issue is that love is going to feel different at different times in the relationship. It's going to change. Early on it won't even be love but infatuation.