Venting What should I do now?

[shady]

Hey, this is my first post, but I've been lurking about for a few months now since I find the information and commentary shared in this forum to be interesting and sometimes helpful. I'm mostly just venting, but I would welcome any kind of helpful advice as well.

Back in July I nearly went through with ordering nembutal, but my significant other pleaded with me to keep trying. He and I lived in different countries, so he wanted one of us to move. It took several months to have my job transferred with my employer, but now I am finally in the UK with him, although we are in different cities (better than 5000 miles).

Now that I'm here, I feel like I'm worse off than before. The stress from moving by myself was overwhelming. My SO has actually become more emotionally distant since I arrived. I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake. I don't know anyone here, I'm completely unfamiliar with my surroundings, and I don't even know where to find help if I need it. I was standing on the platform waiting for the tube yesterday, thinking I should just jump. I could never do anything like that and inconvenience all those commuters though. I don't even know if my original option is still possible anymore. I feel so trapped.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Sounds lonely. Could you move back to your country?

 

[shady]

Sounds lonely. Could you move back to your country?

My employer wouldn't move me back, so I'd have to quit my job. I've already paid so much to move in the first place. My employer is only going to reimburse some of the money, but not until the end of January. I don't know that that would help much anyway since I didn't want to *live* there either.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

My employer wouldn't move me back, so I'd have to quit my job. I've already paid so much to move in the first place. My employer is only going to reimburse some of the money, but not until the end of January. I don't know that that would help much anyway since I didn't want to *live* there either.

Sorry to hear this.

 

[Misanthrope]

@shady What sort of help are you looking for?

 

[shady]

@shady What sort of help are you looking for?

Local resources for help or methods, partners, or idk maybe someone to talk to. Btw I'm in London if you want to recommend any resources.

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

You can get through this. Stay strong.

 

[15dec]

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through, sending hugs. Do you know of any clubs or groups you could join in your area to meet some new people with a share date interest? That could be helpful. Also, what kind of help do you mean? N can still be delivered to the UK as far as I know but I'm not sure what customs are like or how long it'd take. If you save enough money I suppose it could be possible to move back to your country and find another job there but that does sound like a difficult process.

 

[shady]

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through, sending hugs. Do you know of any clubs or groups you could join in your area to meet some new people with a share date interest? That could be helpful. Also, what kind of help do you mean? N can still be delivered to the UK as far as I know but I'm not sure what customs are like or how long it'd take. If you save enough money I suppose it could be possible to move back to your country and find another job there but that does sound like a difficult process.

Unfortunately, I don't know anyone except my new manager and I can't say I really know much about him. I'm in London, so I'm sure there are a lot of groups, but I'm too anxious to even leave my apartment most of the time, let alone go meet up with a bunch of strangers. I could still afford N, but I'm a little nervous about getting it through customs. I'm also staying in a company owned flat currently and their security receives all our packages, which makes me nervous. Maybe there are other peaceful methods that are easily accessible locally. I'd have to do more research.

 

[15dec]

Unfortunately, I don't know anyone except my new manager and I can't say I really know much about him. I'm in London, so I'm sure there are a lot of groups, but I'm too anxious to even leave my apartment most of the time, let alone go meet up with a bunch of strangers. I could still afford N, but I'm a little nervous about getting it through customs. I'm also staying in a company owned flat currently and their security receives all our packages, which makes me nervous. Maybe there are other peaceful methods that are easily accessible locally. I'd have to do more research.

Could you get a PO Box? If not it's easy to get a rope for hanging though the survival instinct is hard to overcome. Getting to know your new manager sounds like a good place to start, as well as your coworkers since you can talk about your work to begin breaking the ice, I've found it easier to start talking to coworkers about what we're doing before moving on to other topics and really getting to know each other. If you feel comfortable enough with anyone you could ask them for any restaurants, cafes, parks, anything that you could visit so you can get to know your way around a little more. Though obviously I understand it's a huge leap especially if you're really anxious, I've been there before and I can't imagine how hard it must be for you in a completely new country as well. I usually try to think "oh, fuck it" and just ask someone something or try and start a conversation. Asking someone questions is a good way to start talking to someone and opening up to them, and getting to know them. Usually I'll ask how their day has been, if they've got any plans for the day/weekend or sometimes just ask about their hobbies. Another thing I do is talk to a lot of people online which I think has definitely made me more comfortable talking to people in real life as well, so maybe that could help you as well?

 

[Misanthrope]

Well I can only present standard help options. This is pretty much the one shop stop for answers to questions or issues you may be having. You likely have a local CAB nearby that you can drop into.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

If you also want to know what may well be helpful in your local area when it comes to mental health you can also look into Mind. They sometimes have their own internal programs available.

https://www.mind.org.uk

Hope that is helpful in some way. Peace.

 

[Partial-Elf]

I was pretty isolated in London for about five weeks a few weeks ago. I really enjoyed exploring the different neighborhoods to take my mind off things, seemed pretty safe

 

[Final Escape]

Hey, this is my first post, but I've been lurking about for a few months now since I find the information and commentary shared in this forum to be interesting and sometimes helpful. I'm mostly just venting, but I would welcome any kind of helpful advice as well.

Back in July I nearly went through with ordering nembutal, but my significant other pleaded with me to keep trying. He and I lived in different countries, so he wanted one of us to move. It took several months to have my job transferred with my employer, but now I am finally in the UK with him, although we are in different cities (better than 5000 miles).

Now that I'm here, I feel like I'm worse off than before. The stress from moving by myself was overwhelming. My SO has actually become more emotionally distant since I arrived. I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake. I don't know anyone here, I'm completely unfamiliar with my surroundings, and I don't even know where to find help if I need it. I was standing on the platform waiting for the tube yesterday, thinking I should just jump. I could never do anything like that and inconvenience all those commuters though. I don't even know if my original option is still possible anymore. I feel so trapped.

I feel that trapped too. Sorry I'm no help. Only that my life sucks and I relate to that level of desperation and stress. So u are employed and housed at least? That helps, even if the SO is acting strangely. Breathe, and try to remain calm. Is there people you can talk to or call who can help out of the country?

 

[shady]

Sorry to hear about the SO...it infuriates me when people push or allow partners to make life changing decisions then abandon them. I have experienced this as well. So many people are shitty and selfish and seem to have no problem trashing someone else's life if it's comfortable for them. What kind of person would encourage you to uproot your life and then not support you? Unreal.

I can't be angry, cause I don't think he understands what this feels like. He genuinely seemed confused that I wasn't suddenly fixed after arriving. Whether or not he understands it, I do wish he could support me more.

 

[shady]

Could you get a PO Box? If not it's easy to get a rope for hanging though the survival instinct is hard to overcome. Getting to know your new manager sounds like a good place to start, as well as your coworkers since you can talk about your work to begin breaking the ice, I've found it easier to start talking to coworkers about what we're doing before moving on to other topics and really getting to know each other. If you feel comfortable enough with anyone you could ask them for any restaurants, cafes, parks, anything that you could visit so you can get to know your way around a little more. Though obviously I understand it's a huge leap especially if you're really anxious, I've been there before and I can't imagine how hard it must be for you in a completely new country as well. I usually try to think "oh, fuck it" and just ask someone something or try and start a conversation. Asking someone questions is a good way to start talking to someone and opening up to them, and getting to know them. Usually I'll ask how their day has been, if they've got any plans for the day/weekend or sometimes just ask about their hobbies. Another thing I do is talk to a lot of people online which I think has definitely made me more comfortable talking to people in real life as well, so maybe that could help you as well?

I'm hoping that I will take advantage of the opportunity to talk to more coworkers after getting back from the holiday break. I know I can't always be so afraid to talk to people. I'm definitely better about it online than in person.

 

[311]

Honestly if you have a good job and shit and live in London dont kill yourself. Visit Europe and see everything. Get drunk and walk around. Get some MDMA and go to a concert. Fuck a guy. Have fun

 

[shady]

I feel that trapped too. Sorry I'm no help. Only that my life sucks and I relate to that level of desperation and stress. So u are employed and housed at least? That helps, even if the SO is acting strangely. Breathe, and try to remain calm. Is there people you can talk to or call who can help out of the country?

I'm uncomfortable asking for that kind of help and putting my burden on someone else. Regardless, I don't think anyone I know is in a position to offer me that kind of help anyway.

 

[311]

It's hard to hear this from another person who is suicidal because it's the sort of thing non-suicidal people say but it's not ever that simple. "Just go travel" etc. I don't understand why people know that it's not as easy as all that for themselves, but have such a hard time accepting that it can be just as bad for others.

The title says what should I do now. I know it sounds banal but if she took MDMA and went for a walk she could see things in a different perspective. If she wants someone to say just kill yourself, then I dont get the point of the post. Just saying.

 

[SiArc]

The title says what should I do now. I know it sounds banal but if she took MDMA and went for a walk she could see things in a different perspective. If she wants someone to say just kill yourself, then I dont get the point of the post. Just saying.

Taking a drug and going for a walk is the answer? Well I'll be damned. We have our savior right here people!
Fuck someone on top of it? By George... let us all get on it.

Your post is one of the most annoying of all answers. How would you feel if someone said that to you.

"Sorry your problems blow and are shallow enough to be fixed by these things. Oh wait, you shouldn't of even posted in the first place if going for a walk wasn't the answer you are looking for. Stupid person."

Seriously...

 

[311]

Taking a drug and going for a walk is the answer? Well I'll be damned. We have our savior right here people!
Fuck someone on top of it? By George... let us all get on it.

Your post is one of the most annoying of all answers. How would you feel if someone said that to you.

"Sorry your problems blow and are shallow enough to be fixed by these things. Oh wait, you shouldn't of even posted in the first place if going for a walk wasn't the answer you are looking for. Stupid person."

Seriously...

Yeah going for a walk helps. Taking MDMA helps. Having sex helps. Its not the solution to her life but you must start somewhere. I'm glad I annoyed you, you seem like a detestable person.

 

[BellaKAT]

I'm so sorry, i can't imagine how lonely and trapped you feel in a foreign country and struggling with your relationship. my advice would be to look for the support of people outside your relationship. i know it's hard, but if you can go to local parks / museums / bars or any type of place you might have fun back home. try to talk to people. that might help just to feel less trapped and alone. Also talk to your s/o to get support when you need it. you sacrificed a lot to be with them. as long as your living try to make the most of it that you can - you're s/o might be become less emotionally distant if they see that you're having your own life. I know it's hard

 

[shady]

Honestly if you have a good job and shit and live in London dont kill yourself. Visit Europe and see everything. Get drunk and walk around. Get some MDMA and go to a concert. Fuck a guy. Have fun

Thank you for sharing. I don't use substances so your particular suggestion may not be the best for me, but I hope it can help someone. However, I do hope I will be able to visit Europe if I improve.

 

[SiArc]

Yeah going for a walk helps. Taking MDMA helps. Having sex helps. Its not the solution to her life but you must start somewhere. I'm glad I annoyed you, you seem like a detestable person.

Only to the assinine. Have a wonderful life.

 

[Threads]

Taking a drug and going for a walk is the answer? Well I'll be damned. We have our savior right here people!
Fuck someone on top of it? By George... let us all get on it.

Your post is one of the most annoying of all answers. How would you feel if someone said that to you.

"Sorry your problems blow and are shallow enough to be fixed by these things. Oh wait, you shouldn't of even posted in the first place if going for a walk wasn't the answer you are looking for. Stupid person."

Seriously...

Have you ever taken MDMA? Or Ketamine? Or used any sort of illegal substance? Not to sound condescending, but MDMA flipped my world around. OP asked a legitimate question. She's in a foreign city. Stressed out to the max. Having relationship difficulties. We don't encourage suicide here. Telling the OP. 'Hey you should jump' is against our rules.

I second OP going out and exploring London a bit. I am not at all downplaying how difficult that might be. But going out and walking around London, maybe using social media, social apps, or looking into community events that interest OP may help a lot. Absolutely, if OP feels like it's time to CTB, I support her choice. But I did not get that impression from OP. I felt that OP is having a lot of difficulties. I don't know OPs story. What I do know is what has worked for me in the past.

MDMA flipped my life around. I don't use any sort of drugs anymore. But when I did use MDMA (The few times that I did) I felt like more whole and complete person and it helped me emotionally develop. It showed me a lot of the beauty in the world. One that I had came to think was hideous and grotesque. I wouldn't be so forward to encourage sex, but sex definitely might help as well. That's up to OP.

I would encourage OP to take a couple days to check out the London pub scene and take in the sights.

 

[SiArc]

Have you ever taken MDMA? Or Ketamine? Or used any sort of illegal substance? Not to sound condescending, but MDMA flipped my world around. OP asked a legitimate question. She's in a foreign city. Stressed out to the max. Having relationship difficulties. We don't encourage suicide here. Telling the OP. 'Hey you should jump' is against our rules.

I second OP going out and exploring London a bit. I am not at all downplaying how difficult that might be. But going out and walking around London, maybe using social media, social apps, or looking into community events that interest OP may help a lot. Absolutely, if OP feels like it's time to CTB, I support her choice. But I did not get that impression from OP. I felt that OP is having a lot of difficulties. I don't know OPs story. What I do know is what has worked for me in the past.

MDMA flipped my life around. I don't use any sort of drugs anymore. But when I did use MDMA (The few times that I did) I felt like more whole and complete person and it helped me emotionally develop. It showed me a lot of the beauty in the world. One that I had came to think was hideous and grotesque. I wouldn't be so forward to encourage sex, but sex definitely might help as well. That's up to OP.

I would encourage OP to take a couple days to check out the London pub scene and take in the sights.

At no point did I encourage her suicide. People want to live, fine. People want to die, fine. I wish no one was in our positions. I found the person I replied to answer to be crass and unfeeling. That was my personal opinion and my personal take on it. I wasn't the only reader to take it as such.

Glad things helped you.

 

[gingerplum]

Taking a drug and going for a walk is the answer? Well I'll be damned. We have our savior right here people!
Fuck someone on top of it? By George... let us all get on it.

Your post is one of the most annoying of all answers. How would you feel if someone said that to you.

"Sorry your problems blow and are shallow enough to be fixed by these things. Oh wait, you shouldn't of even posted in the first place if going for a walk wasn't the answer you are looking for. Stupid person."

Seriously...

I think that's unfairly dismissive at best and downright acrimonious at worst. @311 wasn't trying to be glib or patronizing; he was attempting to be genuinely encouraging and helpful.

Let's hope these disagreements can inspire compassionate conversation when they arise.

 

[311]

At no point did I encourage her suicide. People want to live, fine. People want to die, fine. I wish no one was in our positions. I found the person I replied to answer to be crass and unfeeling. That was my personal opinion and my personal take on it. I wasn't the only reader to take it as such.

Glad things helped you.

Fam I told her to take a walk on a drug known to help the severely depressed and to see beautiful sites given shes in Europe. You offered no suggestion but just got mad over a genuine suggestion. You're meanie mean

 

[Threads]

Enough derailing this thread with personal arguments.

I've moved the thread to Off Topic.

I don't want to see any more of it in this thread. Either keep it about the OP or create meaningful discussion from what has been posted. Any further derail may result in disciplinary action being taken.

Thanks.

Threads