What role does bullying play in your adult life?

[looseye]

Most of us could probably sing a song about the bullies we faced in our childhood. How not being able to fit in with the greater crowd resulted in verbal, psychological, often even physical abuse and violation of our privacy and our possessions. It may have traumatized us and in many left marks for life. Childhood bullying has the potential to kick off a series of events that causes severe damage in the social skills of a person which can be very difficult, if not impossible, to reverse. It's no wonder that it also contributes a lot to the desire to die.

Stories of bullying are usually set in an earlier time, more specifically somewhere between the ages of 6 and 18 and most prominently from 12 to 16. Don't quote me on that, it's just my impression of it. It makes me wonder what your experiences with bullying look like in your current, adult life as this is a topic that is not discussed here very often. Does bullying still play an active role in your life and if so, does it affect your mental health as much as it did back in the day?

 

[alivefornow]

Probably one of the deepest roots of my insecurities and my inability to maintain healthy relationships. Huge role in my desire to CTB.

 

[HayBunny23]

I don't work, but my spouse does. He gets bullied by his co-workers and manager. He reports him for it. He has lost hours and benefits because of the harassment(aka payloss). Mentally, He comes home upset, stressed out, and mentally exhausted from putting up from it all day. They allow straight up misogyny and racism towards him, was even sexually harassed. One coworker asked "how much to suck me off". We reported him to HR and management, but he has been promoted to management since then. He also just picks on him but instead of telling him to stop, the highest management BULLIES HIM BACK until he shuts up, just for the bully to have pent up anger and rage to take it out more on my spouse/others.
Just another "take it up the @ss or starve" kind of dealios I guess.

 

[redisblue]

I don't get bullied as much as I did when I was younger, although last summer after I left high school, I was bullied on social media till I ended up deleting some of it and having to block a lot of people. Lies were spread about me and everybody immediately believed them without asking me about it, as always. It's funny because all the people believing them actively calls the people who spread the lies pathological liars. I was told to ctb, called slurs, called names and insulted. I got screenshots from friends sent to me about the things people had been saying about me. All of this affected me really badly - I thought once I left high school, the bullying would stop. Now, I'm in college and I don't get bullied anymore. Now, I just get ignored. Honestly, I don't mind sometimes since it's better than being constantly bullied.

 

[SamTam33]

I'd be reaching if I considered it bullying in my adult life. When provoked - I come out swinging, so what might've turned into bullying quickly peters out.

BUT, I've still experienced coworkers being deliberately antagonistic. Nit-picking. Micro-agressions. Things like that.

People in general can't stand those who aren't just like them. It must make them question their own worthiness if you don't want to have lunch with them or go to happy hour.

They don't understand how you're capable of performing in ways that they can't.

It drives them crazy that you can exist for weeks and not say a single word to them.

Maybe if I took time to look into it, it might actually be considered workplace bullying. But it didn't quite feel like the childhood bullying. My reaction feels different.

In elementary school, I still fought back when pushed into a corner, but I was so confused about why it was happening.

As an adult, I know exactly why it's happening. Maybe that's the only difference.

 

[littlelady774]

I got bullied in high school mostly. It still affects me to this day.

 

[kkwy]

I was on the other side of this. I used to bully others throughout school. As an adult I don't go out of my way to pick on any1, and I stand up for myself if any1 fucks with me.
There was a workplace where a higher-up fat alcoholic pos bullied all the lower guy employees, I saw my coworker cry because of it. But he was "nice"(more like creepy) to all the women, I'm pretty sure he thought of them as some sort of harem of his. Any time we approached one of them to ask a work related question, he would quickly intervene and say to leave her alone and figure out our problem on our own. It was rly weird and got in the way of getting work done.

I didn't go to hr or whatever, I just didn't care enough to make a change, I just told him he was wrong and switched jobs.
His head was so red all the time I have no doubt in my mind sooner than later he will have a stroke or something.

 

[Pluto]

OP summed it up to a tee.

One difference is that Nfather was himself bullied quite badly and morphed into an unempathetic monster. When I was born, he saw his chance for revenge since there was no one to defend me. I was assigned the role of the family scapegoat and went on to attract bullies like a magnet at school because it was all I knew. I didn't finish high school as my mental health collapsed. Nfather then orchestrated a cover-up attributing my issues to genetic defects so he could evade criticism and I lost all support in the family and community. I've struggled with working crappy jobs and battling my own inner demons ever since.

I don't cop much bullying nowadays; if so, I don't really care about minor insults. Relationships have been nonexistent. Sometimes people feel pity at my awkward attempts to fit in. The rest of the time I'm completely isolated. It's quite a life.

 

[theboy]

I'm working on it
It's amazing that everyone talks about bullying but not when the victim is an adult.

 

[Unending]

I first began to feel suicidal when I was being bullied in elementary/middle school. I didn't remember this until a while ago but apparently I told my mom I had no reason to live when I was pretty young, I guess I just didn't even have a word for suicidal or depressed until I got a little older.

 

[HadItAll]

As a former high school bully, I can say that in adulthood majority of bullies have matured and understand their past wrong doings.

Of course, there are some bad apples, but it should be much easier in adulthood than in primary school or high school.

 

[DiscT]

I don't work, but my spouse does. He gets bullied by his co-workers and manager. He reports him for it. He has lost hours and benefits because of the harassment(aka payloss). Mentally, He comes home upset, stressed out, and mentally exhausted from putting up from it all day. They allow straight up misogyny and racism towards him, was even sexually harassed. One coworker asked "how much to suck me off". We reported him to HR and management, but he has been promoted to management since then. He also just picks on him but instead of telling him to stop, the highest management BULLIES HIM BACK until he shuts up, just for the bully to have pent up anger and rage to take it out more on my spouse/others.
Just another "take it up the @ss or starve" kind of dealios I guess.

I'm 23 but been sheltered a lot in life. Opening my eyes to this level of vindictiveness by human beings terrifies me. I want out of this place.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

Has made me feel worthless made me hate everything about myself makes me not trust people makes me not want to be here

 

[lionetta12]

Most of us could probably sing a song about the bullies we faced in our childhood. How not being able to fit in with the greater crowd resulted in verbal, psychological, often even physical abuse and violation of our privacy and our possessions. It may have traumatized us and in many left marks for life. Childhood bullying has the potential to kick off a series of events that causes severe damage in the social skills of a person which can be very difficult, if not impossible, to reverse. It's no wonder that it also contributes a lot to the desire to die.

Stories of bullying are usually set in an earlier time, more specifically somewhere between the ages of 6 and 18 and most prominently from 12 to 16. Don't quote me on that, it's just my impression of it. It makes me wonder what your experiences with bullying look like in your current, adult life as this is a topic that is not discussed here very often. Does bullying still play an active role in your life and if so, does it affect your mental health as much as it did back in the day?

The only time I ever felt bullied as an adult was by my recent ex, but he seem to have bullied everyone in his life at some point according to all his friends I talked to and when he himself bragged about bullying some people a couple of times too. Never really thought I'd ever feel bullied and harassed by an adult as an adult.

 

[sorrowed_ender]

I have developed a severe disaociative disorder all because of the help with bullying + some other adverse childhood experiences. it is a very important part of my life. And I hate remembering it everyday. lots of people claim bullying to be just "kids being kids" but I am so severely traumatized and so affected by it that I am very avoidant of others. Not only was I bullied, but neglected by the adults around me who didnt want to help me. I was always somehow the "bad child" even when i have done no such thing. I was told I was autostic and had adhd but never got diagnosed until I was 17 - 18. I wish I was actually helped when I was younger but the adults didnt want to help be because I was a so called "bad kid". The adults were my biggest bullies. and Im tired of being ignored. I went out looking for means of interaction online when I was younger, tk get the validatuon and attention I needed that the adults wouldnt give me but ended up being even more deeply traumatized than I was before. I wish people saw that bullying is such a major issue.

 

[KAZ-2Y5]

Bullying plays a big role and why I'm CTB. It affects me years later. The cruelty people can exhibit makes me not want to live in this planet anymore.

 

[ropearoundatree]

Oh, tremendous! ...& for me, it was most likely repressed, as in - stuffed inside a box, for about 20 yrs. or more? No, let's back that up a bit...
but anyway, & regardless - even when Not in full-view, shall we say, I do know that it still had to effect me in ways that I might not have even
been aware of, nor imagined~ (so, yeah. . .) not good! That's for sure.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yeah, the bullying I received from others still hurts me to this day. Screw bullies.

I'm working on it
It's amazing that everyone talks about bullying but not when the victim is an adult.

People care about children only really. Not about adults. It's always been like this